It is the responsibility of the Great British Press to hype up England’s chances before any major tournament. Expectation must be raised beyond anything remotely reasonable. The country must be gripped with fervor and an unswerving certainty that the trophy will be come back to where it belongs. However, with a little under a year to go until the tournament kicks off and with 7 wins from 7 in qualifying games it seems that the media have been a bit slow on the uptake. I therefore feel it is my solemn duty to kick start the campaign here and now by highlighting the myriad of reasons why England shall win the World Cup at a stroll and make us all proud…
…Except I couldn’t come up with a myriad. In fact I couldn’t even come up with 10. Or 8. Or even 6 or 7. So I decided on a more balanced view. Five reasons why they might win and five reasons why they probably won’t. Surely I’d be able to do that without scraping the barrel wouldn’t I?
The Top Five Reason Why England Might Win The 2010 World Cup
1) Fabio Capello
The man is a winner. He has won trophies in Italy. He has won trophies in Spain. He has won Leagues. He has won Cups. He has won the Champions League. He knows how to get the job done. It might not always be pretty but for Fabio it is ultimately the end that justifies the means.
2) We have match winners
Teams that win World Cups have match winners. Argentina had Maradona, Brazil had Pele, France had Zidane. You need players who can change games in an instant and on their own. We have three such examples with Rooney, Gerrard and Walcott – players who have the talent and increasingly the temperament with which to seize big games and make them their own.
3) The back four
If Glen Johnson’s expected move to either Liverpool or Chelsea goes through, by the time the World Cup rolls round he will have had a season of Champions League football under his belt. Alongside seasoned Big Cup campaigners Cashley, Rio and JT, the back four will have a very solid look to it and great teams are build on great defences.
4) Psycho
Footballers are simple creatures and are able to take inspiration from even the most obvious of sources. Stuart Pearce may not have had the smooth managerial ride that many hoped for but the current squad will have grown up on his chest thumping, ‘I’m going to explode with pride’ celebration in Euro ’96. Furthermore, he seems to be grooming a very good Under-21 team and having been to a World Cup semi final himself, his steady influence on the bench alongside Capello could be vital in instilling a spirit and belief that this squad of players can fulfill their potential.
5) Who else is going to do it?
Without being too disparaging and setting myself up for a mighty fall, there’s not a huge amount else out there to be worried about. Brazil have become functional and defensive under Dunga. Argentina are faltering badly under Diego after a positive start. France look shaky and are paying the price for sticking with Domenech. We’ve already beaten Germany in their own back yard. Holland are bound to in-fight their way out the tournament at some stage. Portugal’s mercurial talents don’t have the temperament to take them all the way to the title. Russia blow hotter and colder than Gareth Barry’s Champions League ambitions while Italy are a bunch of aging hipsters. As far as one can see there’s not too much to trouble England on their glorious march to glory….
The Top Five Reason Why England Probably Won’t Win The World Cup And Will Make Grown Men Cry (And Fight)
1) Spain
…except the Spanish. Four teams made the Champions League semi finals. Three of them were English. The other was Barca, and we all know what happened there. The national team taught us a lesson at their place not so long ago and the way Xavi and Iniesta pass and move the ball is light years ahead of any other midfield pairing on the planet. Add to that a strikeforce of Villa and Torres and an unbeaten record stretching back 34 matches, the last 14 of which have been wins, and it becomes quite clear that they will be the team to beat next summer.
2) We don’t have a decent keeper
A solid back four is only a strength if you have a reliable keeper behind it. Sadly we don’t and unless someone makes a miraculous run over the coming season it seems this will be our Achilles heel once again. Carson’s chance came and went. Robbo has shown his frailties on numerous occasions. Rob Green was barely tested in the last two qualifiers but has been known to flap at crosses for West Ham. As for David James, if he goes as first choice then we might as well all book our holidays for after the group stages.
3) WAGS
Surely Fabio won’t stand for any of this rubbish will he? But then they’re used to the highlife, they wear the trousers and more often than not they get their own way. It was a distraction last time out and if it’s not nipped in the bud at source then the demon WAG circus could rear its ugly head again. For someone supposedly shy and retiring, Theo Walcott’s better half Melanie Slade gets a lot of column inches and crops up in saucy photo shoots. Also Rooney will be a dad by this time next year and who can rule out Colleen launching a ‘Baby Shrek’ clothing range or something equally hideous?
4) Strength in depth
Our first eleven on paper can be very good. The power of Rooney upfront. Ferdinand’s pace and outstanding reading of the game at the back. Even bringing Beckham to the party for his range of passing wouldn’t be a terrible idea. The balance on the left notwithstanding, there are world class players throughout the line-up. However, dig deeper and things become a bit thin. Stuart Downing off the bench? Matthew Upson marshalling Leo Messi? Doesn’t fill you with confidence if we pick up a few knocks and have to rely on ‘lesser’ squad members.
5) Penalties
Even the most blindly optimistic of England followers must surely concede that the thought of facing anyone on penalties fills them with dread. It could be in a semi final against Germany or against Ghana in the last 16. Hell it could even be a charity game against Whipsnade Under 12s. Whatever the opposition you just expect England to crumble in the face of penalties. No doubt we’ll have battled against the odds through 120 minutes of blood and sweat and will almost certainly be the more deserving of the two teams to go through. But we won’t. Hargreaves will pop off the bench and nonchalantly slot his opening kick in the top corner but then the following four will be shanked against the post, slashed wildly over the bar, slapped tamely against the keeper’s legs, and tragically rolled wide as the keeper dives the wrong way. It was just not meant to be.
