So FIFA announced that they’ll be meeting on 2 December – just before the final world cup draw – to discuss some very important things. My mind isn’t where it should be at work, so I have let it wander towards considering what on earth those bigwigs will want to talk about, and the implications it might have for the beautiful game.
The serious stuff
1. FIFA will probably have noticed that some French chap used his hand to assist a goal last week. Another French chap will want to put referees behind the goals to stop this sort of thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if this new 5-referee system was given its international debut in South Africa.
2. With the crowd troubles after the Algeria – Egypt game, some pretty serious security measures will probably be put in place. Not sure what, but this is sure to be discussed. In South Africa security will be a major concern for players and fans alike, so I hope FIFA are able to reach a realistic solution
The more hopeful stuff
3. They’ll get rid of some of the more unsavoury members of the FIFA committee (I’m looking in your direction, Jack Warner) and clean up their messes, just like our MPs have been doing recently. FIFA representatives seem to have gained a reputation of expenses-hungry buffet munchers, who know nothing at all about the game. This is not entirely unfair. Heck – even Sepp Blatter might be given the old heave-ho.
4. I’m really hoping there will be some discussion of common sense rules-amendments. I’m thinking along the lines of basic uses of technology (not sure what yet), the ability to retrospectively challenge referees’ decisions, appropriate punishments for crime, and a real drive to get cheating out of the game. The diving and cheating really got my goat during the last world cup, and detracted from the quality on display. Lets try and get rid of it
The downright stupid
5. No handballs? Just remove either hands or balls. Or preferably both. But probably easier to just remove hands. But it’s handball if it hits your arms too. All professional footballers to have arms removed from the shoulder down. This should help avert any potential controversy. Those found with arms to be cautioned, and if they repeat the offence to be dismissed and suffer a fine / ban.
6. In light of the fact that not all major (rich) nations qualified for the world cup, places in future are to be made available only to the wealthiest countries, by way of a secret lottery. Each world cup place will be bid for by the FAs of each country. Therefore nations who do not contribute sufficiently to FIFAs coffers will not be considered. This will allow the footballing powerhouses of Qatar, UAE and Saudi Arabia to rightfully feature at the world cup each year, while relative paupers do not disgrace the world with their presence. This money will be used to buy bigger houses for members of FIFA, and not for the improvement of football at any level, under any circumstances.
What else could it be about? Any ideas?
