RUMOURFLASH: Manchester City: “Money Management Is For Losers”
The season may not have started but the transfer gossip has. What do you think about the latest transfer news? Is Joe Cole really going to Liverpool because it’s the ‘best football club in the country’? Will Manchester City get hold of James Milner? And which football club will end up paying thousands of pounds for the pleasure of watching Sol Campbell get skinned by the likes of Brett Ormerod every week? Your comments please…
The Real Talking Points
Joe Cole joined Liverpool, where he is going to get paid £90,000 a week. Not bad for a bench-bottomed England player who’s role in Chelsea’s title-winning season was arguably less significant than that of the bus driver.
Martin Jol looked set to become Fulham’s boss but didn’t. Ajax pulled the plug last minute and Fulham are now contemplating blowing all their cash on Sven.
Werder Bremen will sell Mesut Ozil if they get a ‘decent offer’. Manchester United and Chelsea have joined the race, which means it is only a matter of time before Manchester City come and blow them both out of the water with an offer £20 million over every other bid.
Arsenal’s Eduardo has joined Shakhtar Donesk for £6 million. Everton have rejected a £12 million bid for Phil Jagielka from the Gunners. Wenger has now been linked with two English players in a decade (let alone a summer)! What’s going on?
Manchester City have been told that they must pay £34 million for Mario Balotelli. City, who also want Landon Donovan and anyone else with moderate football skills, will face competition from Chelsea…
…who are looking to table a £25m bid for Brazilian teenager, Neymar, who plays for Santos. The Blues are also thought to have bid £20m for Brazil’s centre midfielder, Ramires, the Benfi player who, it seems to me, played about eight minutes of the World Cup. His nickname is ‘Blue Kenyan’ because Cruzeiro – his old club – wore blue and because he has the endurance of a Kenyan, apparently. No doubt this will shortly be verified by some local WAG in The News of The World.
Fulham, Sunderland and Celtic are desperate for a quality goalkeeper. But as no-one’s available at present, they’re going for David James.
James Milner wants out of Aston Villa. Fame and, most certainly, fortune await him at Manchester City’s Eastlands. But probably not trophies.
Big News if it Happens
Inter Milan want Stephen Pienaar.
Didier Drogba’s agent says he’s in talks with Manchester City over £20m move. Manchester City have denied that they have been in contact. Rumours that the company had said “we’re wasting our money on someone else” turned out to be untrue.
Cesc Fabregas is refusing to give up on his Barcelona dream…and with it, his hope for any kind of silverware. Ex-Gunner Alexander Hleb, the epitome of a bench-warmer at Barcelona, is now facing the amusing prospect of ‘being talked into’ a move to Fulham or Birmingham. The winger is being offered to both clubs, who must now convince the Belarusian that he should forget his £50K+ wages, training with Messi, and picking up token cup winner’s medals as a substitute, for chasing aimless punts from Roger Johnson or Chris Baird. In Arsenal-related news, Mark Schwarzer has been offered a player-coach role at Arsenal. He’s also been offered French lessons so that he can understand what is being said in the dressing room. Arsenal still want to pay Sol Campbell to keep on playing, for some reason.
Spurs will pay £3m for Bellamy and £8m for Conor Wickham. The club may sell Robbie Keane to finance the move for Bellamy.
Steven Gerrard is staying at Liverpool, which is just as well really seeing as no-one else wanted him. The club, fresh from ridding itself of two pretty crap left-backs, are now chasing Wayne Bridge. The scousers have also signed some guy called Danny Wilson from Rangers. Meanwhile, Inter have made an approach for Javier Mascherano, Seville are offering €9m for Mikel Arteta and Zlatan Ibrahimovic is staying at Barca and not going to Manchester City. Roman Pavlyuchenko has denied rumours that he is going on loan to Sporting Lisbon.
Other News that’s Barely Interesting
Dan Gosling joined Newcastle, Manchester United are to offer Nemanja Vidic contract extension and a pay-rise, while Schalke are set to confirm the capture of Raul, despite interest from Tottenham.
West Ham have invited Algerian keeper Rais M’bolhi to training, while Blackburn are looking to sign James Beattie. Former Hammer Marlon Harewood, the one striker who makes Emile Heskey look prolific, could be on his way to Al-Ahli, the mega-rich Dubai side, or Rangers – the mega-skint Scottish side. World Cup winning captain Fabio Cannevaro is reported to have said that it has always been ‘his dream to play with Marlon Harewood’. He didn’t of course, I am just wondering how the ex-Juventus legend feels about swapping Alessandro Del Piero for a man who couldn’t cut it at Nottingham Forest.
Francis Jeffers – or ‘The Fox in The Box of 2002 – Trademark’, is to be paid more money to show that he’s not up to it. Blackpool are the mugs this time round. In other news, Wigan want to loan Franco Di Santo from Chelsea while Chilean Humberto Suazo, or “Fat Man” to his friends, could be on his way to Birmingham for £10m. Joey Barton says that ‘on World Cup form’ he is good as anyone in the country – but then, so’s my dead gerbil. Tony Pulis wants Hugo Rodallega from Wigan. Gordon Strachan is sticking to his ‘Buy Scottish’ strategy by chasing some bloke from Dundee, who no doubt looks good against the milkman and morris dancers of St Mirren. Tal Ben-Haim failed a medical at West Ham, West Ham/Liverpool are still trying to sign Loic Rem, while Stephen Sidwell is set to join Fulham for £2m. Sunderland signed Titus Bramble for £1 million.
