Andy Carroll – Worth Money? Do Me A Bloomin’ Favour!

by Gossip Gordon

Friday, September 17th, 2010

Let’s be honest here, most football transfer rumours originate in the minds of gawky journos who desperately make up this rubbish to stop them having to write another feature on how bloody good Paul Scholes is. Case in point of this rubbish – Andy Carroll to Tottenham?! Christ, what next, Tony Hibbert to Barcelona?

Anyway, some of these rumours may yet turn out to be correct, especially the Owen to Villa rumour and the Arteta to Arsenal link. What do you think of all these rumours?

The Real Talking Points

Ghanaian midfielder Anthony Annan, who plays for Rosenborg, has claimed he is wanted by Manchester United. United have also been linked with Wilson Palacios and Scottish midfielder Scott Brown as they seek to replace Owen Hargreaves, once again on his death-bed, and Michael Carrick, once again about as much use as Jermaine Jenas. I’d go with Annan myself. The kid was class at the World Cup.

Gerard Houllier wants Michael Owen at Aston Villa. The Villains are now seeking a couple of new physios to allow for the additional workload.

As usual, Harry Redknapp goes from brilliant to damn right daft. Two weeks after bagging Rafael Van De Vaart – an emperor of skill, control and guile – he now wants Andy Carroll – an experimental mix of Marlon Harewood, Emile Heskey and Kevin Davies. But with long hair.

Big News If It Happens

Jose Mourinho has supposedly been offered the Portugal job on an interim basis. Diego Maradona has also expressed an interest in the post.

Arsenal has earmarked Mikel Arteta as a possible replacement for Cesc Fabregas. The Gooners also want German keeper Manuel Neuer.

Chelsea are preparing a £16.5 million bid for Jesus Navas, the Spanish winger.

Liverpool may turn their attention to bidding £18m for Carlton Cole and Valon Behrami at West Ham. The Reds are also said to have joined Manchester United in the chase for Karim Benzema. I bet he’s thrilled at the prospect of swapping exchanging passes with Kaka to exchanging passes with Paul Konchesky. Either Roy Hodgson’s a ruddy genius or he’s slyly dragging ‘Pool into mid-table obscurity.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Melbourne Heart, the Australian club, are offering fat Ronaldo a daily allowance of three ‘Sheilas’ and 75 beef burgers in a bid to persuade the former World Cup winner to swap Brazil for Australia.

Javier Pastore, the Argentine playmaker currently at Palermo, is the next target for Manchester City.

And Finally…

Just for the sake of it…name your five worst transfer flops in the Premier League’s history. I am not offering a prize though, so don’t get too excited.

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  • Tony Hibbert

    Wouldn’t join Barcelona if you paid me, lad.

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