Start-up company Footy Freak is celebrating the start of the new Premier League season by running a 6-a-side Premier League football tournament at Bracknell (near Reading), Berkshire on Sunday 11th September, and we would love to see all of you UKFF members there!

Entering teams will be able to choose between the likes of Manchester United, and Chelsea, or be given a time at random if they prefer.

The tournament is split up into two groups of six teams, meaning that each side is guaranteed five 10-minute games at least. Eight of the 12 teams will make it to the Quarter-Finals and the Semi-Finalists will be eligible to play in our Champions League competition, which takes place next year!

The tournament has some great sponsors including UK Football Finder, Panasonic and Specsavers, and all of our games are officiated by FA qualified referees. There are prizes for the winners and runners-up and, thanks to Specsavers, we are offering free eye test vouchers for worst miss and worst goalkeeper!

For more details or to book, visit www.footy-freak.com or call me, Doug, on 07581 506535. We hope to see you guys there!

Gossip Gordon has come out of retirement to address the pressing matters of the transfer market. Gordon knows that half of these rumours are probably made-up by the cleaner at The Sun or, in a bygone era, were probably found out by certain chaps listening in on intimidate phone calls between Kevin Keegan and Alan Shearer. Anyway, on with the rumours…

Carlos Tevez wants to get out of Manchester City. Brazilian side Corinthians offered £40 million for the Argentinean, but that deal has since fallen flat. Tevez was last since sipping Mojitos with some chap from Inter Milan. Countryman Sergio Aguero of Athletic Madrid is apparently preparing to take a pay-cut to replace him at City.

The incredibly boring flirtation between Barcelona and Cesc Fabregas rumbles on. The two have once again spent an entire summer winking at each other and mentioning how great they both look. Barca, however, seem to have balked at the price of taking Fab on a second date. Arsenal have allegedly given the Catalans ten days to do the deal, ‘or else’. The Gunners could replace the wantaway captain with Marek Hamsik, according to some sources, who is a better player anyway, according to this source.

Liverpool want to blow £10 million on Lee Cattermole, despite knowing that the Sunderland man’s tackling often resembles a healthy mix of WWF wrestling, taekwondo and what you see outside a bar on a Saturday night – common assault.

Goalkeeper values are all over the place. Thibaut Courtois, a 19-year keeper (and probably a part-time chocolate maker) from Belgium, has joined Chelsea for almost £7 million, while Shay Given has gone to Aston Villa for a paltry £3.5 million. West Brom could sign Ben Foster on loan for a year.

Owen Hargreaves is rumoured to in talks with West Brom and Leicester. Both clubs seem to be swerving the deal, probably on the realisation that their physios will be demanding pay-rises and hospital equipment if the Canadian/English/Welsh bloke hobbles their way.

Arsenal will apparently have to pay £18 million if they want to buy Phil Jagielka. Rumours claim that Arsene Wenger was seen tightly hugging onto his piggy bank under his bed, after receiving the news.

It’s funny how quickly transfer speculation spreads. Two weeks ago, Gareth Bale was just an in-form left-winger playing for Tottenham. It was a simple as that. Now, he’s the hottest property in Europe and has to ‘clarify’ his future in regards to interest from Barcelona, Real Madrid and friends. How much would you put his value at now? I think the kid has the ability to be a world-class player but putting him in this category is being a bit too keen at the moment. That said, if he were English, perhaps he would be ‘world class’ already….

The Real Talking Points

Gareth Bale, fresh from Maicon a fool out of a not-so Brazil-liant right-back, could be subject of bids in the region of £50 million in the summer, in tabloid reports are to be believed. Real Madrid and Barcelona are interested, although Spurs have said that they are not looking to sell. Meanwhile, Barcelona are also being linked with Luka Modric as an alternative to Cesc Fabregas. I guess they’re getting a little tired of Fab’s Spanish rendition of ‘Should I Stay or Should I Go’.

Bastian Schweinsteiger is said to have delayed contract talks with Bayern Munich until January. The German, so impressive at this year’s World Cup, is interesting Manchester United and Chelsea.

Big News If It Happens

Liverpool will move for Athletico Bilbao’s Fernando Llorente if namesake Torres leaves. The reds are also being linked with Sampdoria and Italy striker Antonio Cassano and Shaun Wright Phillips who, according to The Independent, is also being offered a staggering £100K-a-week to stay at Manchester City. I am not sure what’s more shocking – someone wanting to buy SWP, or someone wanting to pay him more money for consistent mediocrity.

Marek Hamsik claims that Manchester United are watching him. The talented Napoli midfielder captained Slovenia at the World Cup. Could he be the heir to Paul Scholes? United are also said to be looking at Chile winger Alexis Sanchez.

Arsenal appear to be the favourites in the race to sign Werder Bremen playmaker Marko Marin.

Juventus may bid for Liverpool’s Glen Johnson. It says a lot about Italian football when Italians, noted for their defending, start targeting an English right-back whose best attributes are going forward.

News That’s Barely Interesting

Michael Owen may quit Manchester United to play in MLS.

Finally – Joker of the week…

…goes to Paul Robinson. The Blackburn keeper said this week that he would welcome a return to England should Fabio Capello leave. In case you haven’t noticed Robbo, we’ve got this lad called Hart in goal who, thus far, has demonstrated the ability to come off his line – something you never mastered.

One week on from Wayne Rooney’s transfer tantrum, and this week’s news is all about some proven players. Carlos Tevez is said to be missing Argentina and wants out, while Pepe Reina and Fernando Torres are probably just missing the feeling of winning games – hence the duo’s supposed wish to get out of Anfield.

Certainly, the future of Tevez is an interesting topic. I may have inadvertently belittled the tiny Argentine a few weeks back, but there’s little doubt in my mind that he’s a better player than Ronnie, and that losing him could cause City to miss out on the Premiership title, if he was to leave in January. Anyway should he leave in January or in the summer, it could force a nice little merry-go-round in the Premiership this summer. Personally, I think Tevez could go home, with Torres going to City and Bent trading Sunderland for Liverpool. What do you think?

The Real Talking Points

Roque Santa Cruz says that he and Carlos Tevez want to leave Manchester City. Tevez is said to be homesick and longing for a return home, while Santa Cruz basically just wants to play. City are tracking Wolfsburg’s Edin Dzeko as a possible replacement for Tevez. Obviously, the man who replaces Cruz is unknown as a different punter probably sits in his seat each week.

Pepe Reina and Fernando Torres are both ready to quit Liverpool. Roy Hodgson isn’t, but he may not get much choice in the matter, if rumours are to be believed.

Wesley Sneijder has signed a two-year extension at Inter Milan, much to the disappointment of Manchester United.

Big News if it Happens

Ryan Giggs could be offered up to £200K-a-week to go and play in the Middle East, according to the highly reputable, always-based-on-facts publication, The Sun.

Liverpool are interested in Blackpool’s Charlie Adam, Roma’s Mirko Vucinic, and more worryingly Manchester City’s Shaun Wright Phillips – a man who’s dribbling style often resembles an out-of-control Black Cab with a faulty Sat Nav.

Spurs want Karim Benzema and Getafe’s Derek Boateng, while Robbie Keane maybe heading to Juventus. To be fair, Keane’s performances have resembled that of an Old Lady of late.

Manchester United are now tracking Sunderland’s Jordan Henderson.

News That’s Barely Interesting

Blackburn’s new owners are thinking of selling the naming rights to Ewood Park. Reports that the stadium could be called the UFC Cage (Ultimate Fighting Championship), in order to echo the home side’s playing style, are said to be untrue.

Every man and his dog is said to be tracking Anderlecht’s 17-year striker, Romelu Lukaku. Spurs have apparently had a £17.5 million bid turned down.

And Finally…

Manchester United have been keen to show fans that giving Wayne “One Good Season” Rooney 250,000 squid a week is a good idea. They are now reportedly giving John O’Shea, a master in displaying average/inept defending anyway across the back four,  £80K a week.

They say things don’t last forever but Roo would have thought this would happen 12 months ago? Back then, Wayne Rooney was talk of the town, goals-a-plenty and almost guaranteed to sleepwalk his way to a World Cup medal and the golden boost, if you happened to read any of the red-tops.

The ginger-haired ‘white Pele’ has since gone onto score just one league goal, demonstrate a first touch that would make Jason Roberts wince, and show about as much potency in front of goal as Emile Heskey on acid. In fact, it could be argued that he’s scored more goals off the pitch than on it. Anyway, as always, I welcome your thoughts on this groundbreaking gossip (along with release of the Chilean miners of course)…

The Real Talking Points

Make that Talking Point. It’s only really been about Rooney this week, right? Fergie says he’s injured, he says he’s not. Either way, Ferguson confirmed today that Rooney wants out of Manchester United, which has led the national journos to speculate/make-up rumours that every club bar Accrington Stanley want the England flop. Rest assured when it comes down to business, you just know that it’ll be between Manchester City and Chelsea. I can’t see him settling in Spain, let alone scoring. What do you think?

Whatever the outcome of the chase for Rooney, it could create some money-go-round. Real Madrid are apparently willing to offer Karim Benzema, Lassana Diarra and a plate-full of paella for the 24-year-old.
Meanwhile, The Sun claims that Chelsea want another goal-shy striker, Fernando Torres.

Big News if it Happens

Inter Milan’s Google-search for ‘top-quality centre half’ continues to yield Gary Cahill for some reason. It is believed that Rafa Benitez wants the Bolton defender. Is this a case of Benitez continuing his legacy at Liverpool, where he bought unknown foreign players and then released them a couple of years later?

Celtic are lining up a loan-move for Shay Given.

Liverpool may be preparing for life in the Championship already. The reds want West Brom’s Chris Brunt, no stranger to the second tier.

Chelsea are interested in Sunderland’s Jordan Henderson.

News That’s Barely Interesting

Blackburn signed Frenchman Herold Goulon on a two-year contract. The former Middlesborough midfielder was a free agent.

Gordon Strachan resigned as Middlesborough boss. The ex-Celtic manager allegedly ‘tore’ up his contract, which quite fairly represents what he’s done to the Middlesborough’s chance of promotion this year.

Cesc Fabregas still wants to play for Barcelona. Yawn.

The real talk this week has been about ageing goalkeepers. One of them, Edwin Van De Sar, looks set to retire to a world of cocoa, Countdown and lunch-time golf, while Mark Schwarzer is looking to prolong his career with a stint at Arsenal, where his job is likely to entail keeping goal, and babysitting Jack Wilshere and friends when mum and dad are out.

So, what do you think of the latest rumours? Who will replace the evergreen Van De Sar and is Schwarzher really any better than Almunia? The floor is yours…

The Real Talking Points

Manchester United goal-keeping coach Eric Steele has said that Edwin Van De Sar may retire at the end of the year. United have been heavily linked with Danish keeper Anders Lindegaard and with CSKA Moscow’s Igor Akinfeev.

Mark Schwarzer has reiterated his desire to leave Fulham for Arsenal. Given that Arsene Wenger tends to avoid players over 30 like the plague, my advice to Schwarzer would be to look for another club or if desperate, a Nigerian passport.

Meanwhile, Lassana Diarra has said he may leave Real Madrid. Manchester United are interested in the French international, who boasts an impressive CV of Madrid, Arsenal, Chelsea…and Portsmouth.

Barcelona see Manchester City’s Carlos Tevez as the ‘ideal foil’ for Lionel Messi, according to The Daily Mail. I am not a fan of Tevez, whose skill appears to be in running around a lot, but at least it might help Barca ‘wrap up’ the Champions League.

Big News if it Happens

Tottenham’s Niko Kranjcar just wants to play football. Everton and Villa are interested in trying to help help him out.

Luis Fabiano now wants to join Spurs. The Brazilian rejected the North London side in the summer, but has spent the majority of the season on Seville’s bench.

Glen Johnson, fresh from the reality that Liverpool are going nowhere fast, is taking Spanish lessons in a bid to earn a move to Real Madrid. Online sources say that he will follow-up these lessons with tactical advice and, if he’s got time, a session on how to defend.

Brazilian Neymar still wants to join Chelsea.

Spurs want Real Madrid’s Karim Benzema.

Sven became Leicester’s new boss this week. Spare a thought for Sven look-a-like Derek Williams who, having previously been able to attract paying customers anywhere in England or somewhat less likely, Ivory Coast, must now convince punters in Leicester to pay him for being a bloke who looks like Sven.

Other News Thats Barely Interesting

Federico Macheda may go on loan to Everton or Lazio.

Patrick Viera will probably retire at the end of the season. Not that anyone will notice.

John Carew may leave Aston Villa on a free at the end of the season. Which means, almost by default, that Stoke and Blackburn will be interested.

To my disappointment, the transfer rumours are drying up. Premier league clubs are pre-occupied trying to win football matches while busy journalists just don’t seem to have the time to make-up Gary Cahill being ‘linked’ with Inter, or of Brett Ormerod ‘impressing’ Bayern Munich. Personally, I think the Premier League should spice up the transfer window to make things a bit more interesting. Maybe they could introduce a window where you can only buy players whose surname begins with the same letter as the club? That said, I don’t think 1860 Munich would be overly chuffed.

Anyway, there are still some half-decent rumours in the blog this week. Torres and Pienaar continue to be the talk of Merseyside (or rather, of them trying to get out of Merseyside), while I found Michael Owen’s link to the Reds slightly amusing. What do you think of the rumours or do you just wish they would be laid torres-t when the window is shut?

The Main Talking Points

Manchester City are still planning to bid £50m for Fernando Torres in January, despite the striker’s lack of form and fitness. I think Liverpool will take that if his form doesn’t pick up.

Chelsea and Manchester United have been alerted by news that ‘talks have broken down’ between Wesley Sneijder and Inter Milan over a new contract. Sounds like an agent’s way of saying, “”When I found out that X were only offering me X a week a nearly crashed my Bentley!” (in the words of A.cOLE).

Chelsea are interesting in Philippe Mexes, the French defender with L’Oreal hair. The Roma defender is out of contract at the end of this season and he almost definitely would be worth it.

Juventus and Spurs want Stephen Pienaar, who is also out of contract at the end of the 2010/2011.

Big News If it Happens

Alex Ferguson is interested in Athletico Madrid goalkeeper David De Gea. The United boss wants the Spaniard to replace Edwin Van De Sar.

Roy Hodgson wants to bring Michael Owen back to Liverpool, who are now also looking for four new physios.

Spurs have told Real Madrid not to bid for Gareth Bale.

The chase for Gai Assulin (“Gasoline”) is heating up. Manchester City may swoop for the winger in January. Assulin has been been described as the new ‘Lionel Messi’ – even though the Catalans let him leave on a free!
Spurs may swap Roman Pavlyuchenko for CSKA Moscow’s Vagner Love. Honestly, I have no idea why Redknapp would want to do this. Love is a tricky individual but Pavlyuchenko is arguably Spurs’ best finisher.

Villa want Djibril Cisse and Real Madrid’s Fernando Gago. Gerard Houllier must be Djibril-ling with excitement over this one.

Jonathon Woodgate’s career could be over after an operation in Australia failed to repair his long-standing groin injury.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Paul Gascoigne, fresh from mourning the death of his Chicken-loving, gun-shooting pal, Raoul Moat, has become manager of Garforth Town, who play in the Evo Stik First Division North league.

Paolo Sousa was sacked as Leicester manager.

Zinedine Zidane’s son, Enzo Fernandez, has been called up to Spain’s U16 side. Fernandez plays for Real Madrid.

And Finally…English success

English subbuteo player Darren Clarke won the World Subbuteo Masters title this week when he beat beating Italian Massimilano Nastasi in the final on a penalty shootout. I bet Capello wishes he could flick Frank Lampard to move every now and again.

Let’s be honest here, most football transfer rumours originate in the minds of gawky journos who desperately make up this rubbish to stop them having to write another feature on how bloody good Paul Scholes is. Case in point of this rubbish – Andy Carroll to Tottenham?! Christ, what next, Tony Hibbert to Barcelona?

Anyway, some of these rumours may yet turn out to be correct, especially the Owen to Villa rumour and the Arteta to Arsenal link. What do you think of all these rumours?

The Real Talking Points

Ghanaian midfielder Anthony Annan, who plays for Rosenborg, has claimed he is wanted by Manchester United. United have also been linked with Wilson Palacios and Scottish midfielder Scott Brown as they seek to replace Owen Hargreaves, once again on his death-bed, and Michael Carrick, once again about as much use as Jermaine Jenas. I’d go with Annan myself. The kid was class at the World Cup.

Gerard Houllier wants Michael Owen at Aston Villa. The Villains are now seeking a couple of new physios to allow for the additional workload.

As usual, Harry Redknapp goes from brilliant to damn right daft. Two weeks after bagging Rafael Van De Vaart – an emperor of skill, control and guile – he now wants Andy Carroll – an experimental mix of Marlon Harewood, Emile Heskey and Kevin Davies. But with long hair.

Big News If It Happens

Jose Mourinho has supposedly been offered the Portugal job on an interim basis. Diego Maradona has also expressed an interest in the post.

Arsenal has earmarked Mikel Arteta as a possible replacement for Cesc Fabregas. The Gooners also want German keeper Manuel Neuer.

Chelsea are preparing a £16.5 million bid for Jesus Navas, the Spanish winger.

Liverpool may turn their attention to bidding £18m for Carlton Cole and Valon Behrami at West Ham. The Reds are also said to have joined Manchester United in the chase for Karim Benzema. I bet he’s thrilled at the prospect of swapping exchanging passes with Kaka to exchanging passes with Paul Konchesky. Either Roy Hodgson’s a ruddy genius or he’s slyly dragging ‘Pool into mid-table obscurity.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Melbourne Heart, the Australian club, are offering fat Ronaldo a daily allowance of three ‘Sheilas’ and 75 beef burgers in a bid to persuade the former World Cup winner to swap Brazil for Australia.

Javier Pastore, the Argentine playmaker currently at Palermo, is the next target for Manchester City.

And Finally…

Just for the sake of it…name your five worst transfer flops in the Premier League’s history. I am not offering a prize though, so don’t get too excited.

The transfer deadline may have passed, but that’s not stopped people going in and out of football’s revolving doors. This week, its is all about the managers. Gerard Houllier has taken over Aston Villa while John Toshack resigned from his post as Wales boss. Meanwhile, Fabio Capello has said that he will quit after Euro 2012 – meaning that we’re likely to end up with some no-hoper in the shape of Steve Bruce, or Lord help us, Sam Allardyce. Moving on from this frivolity, why not check out my ‘signings of the season’ team below, and make up your own?

The Real Talking Points

Gerard Houllier became manager of Aston Villa. I am not sure what to think of this appointment. He’ll either bring a couple of Carling Cups and Champions League football to Villa Park, or perhaps more likely, he’ll bring Salif Diao and Bruno Cheyrou.

John Toshack quit as Wales manager after six years in charge. Ryan Giggs, John Hartson and Chris Coleman have all been linked with the job. Davy Jones – not skipper of the Flying Dutchman on Pirates of the Caribbean, but the bloke coaching Cardiff (another sinking ship) – would be a good bet, I think.

Staying with managers, Fabio Capello plans to quit England by 2012. Which means that management gurus Sam Allardyce, Steve Bruce and ‘Arry Redknapp – with about one trophy and eight double-chins between them – have kindly linked themselves to the job. Thanks, but no thanks lads.

Meanwhile, Real Madrid want Emmanuel Adebayor and Juventus have been linked with Jermaine Defoe. Spurs boss Redknapp is still trying to break the record for most number of midfielders at one club. He would like to sign Ashley Young, presumably so he can tell The Daily Star ‘I told ya I should have signed him’ when Tommy Huddlestone and co next get KO’d by an uncooked lasagne.

Big News If It Happens

Athletico Madrid are interested in Manchester City’s David Silva, still ‘struggling to adjust’ to the Premier League after about seven minutes of football.

Charles N’Zogbia may end up moving to Marseille in January. It appears that Birmingham are no longer interested in the Frenchy.

Jose Mourinho allegedly told Bastian Schweinsteiger that he wants the Bayern Munich midfielder to join Real Madrid next year.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Dutch winger Ibrahim Afellay didn’t join Everton this summer because the Goodison club ‘didn’t feel right’. Which is a nice way of saying that he thinks Phil Neville’s weird.

Inter Milan supposedly want Bolton’s Gary Cahill. Really?

Southampton’s search for a new manager goes on. Phil Brown and Scunthorpe boss Nigel Adkins are interested in the role.

And Finally…My Premiership Signings Of The Season Team

(3:5:2) Foster, Gallas, Campbell, Squillaci, Hleb, Ramires, Ireland, Milner, Van De Vaart, Gyan, Gudjohnson. Subs: Cleverley, K Jones, Pletikosa, ‘Little Pea’ from Manchester United, Craig Cathcart (Blackpool), Ben Arfa, Scharner.
* PS The signings of the season are made of players who I think will do well this season -it is not based on the three Premiership games so far this season! Also, it has more emphasis on how key they could be for their clubs, rather than how good they are. It is because of this that I’ve selected Tom Cleverly, on loan at Wigan, rather than Yaya Toure of Manchester City!

Transfer Deadline Day (TDD) is always a letdown. OK, so your club might sign a new left back, but that’s about as interesting as it gets.

This year was no exception. TDD ‘highlights’ were Sunderland paying £13 million for a unprolific Ghanaian, an ex-Fulham boss signing a Fulham player, Spurs POSSIBLY signing someone and AC Milan offering buckets of cash for a couple of has-beens. That said, Rafael Van De Vaart could be signing of the season if ‘Arry bags him for Spurs. Would that make Spurs’ midfield stronger than Arsenal’s? I think so, but I’ll leave that for you boys and girls to fight out…

The Real Talking Point

As usual, ‘Azza Redknapp was linked with a load of players on TDD and the Spurs gaffer may yet end up with Rafael Van De Vaart – 24th choice at Real Madrid but still rather good – for a bargain £8 million. Redknapp was also linked with Ryan Babel and Scott Parker, who’s value has shot-up £104 million since Frank Lampard and Steven Gerrard’s fine allegiance for England continued at the World Cup. Spurs have also signed Croatian goalkeeper Stipe Pletikosa on a season-long loan.

The Yids didn’t sign Babel, however. He stayed at Liverpool. According to various rumours/lies, Babel was seen cruising around in various parts of England in a helicopter. It’s the first time his career has truly taken off.

Sunderland paid over £13 million for Rennes striker Asamoah Gyan. He was pretty handy at the World Cup. Do you think he’s Ghana do well? (Sorry).

Meanwhile, AC Milan made a couple of bold moves. They signed Zlatan Ibrahimovic on a season-long loan with the option to make it permanent for £20 million, and Robinho for around £18 million. If they get those two firing, they could be a bit handy in the Champions League. At least it brings the squad’s average age down to about 335.

Big News If It Happens

Liverpool finally signed Paul Konchesky from Fulham. They sent two young boys, Lauri Dalla Valle and Alex Kacaniklic, as a gift to Fulham, who must be well chuffed.

Birmingham got Alexander Hleb on-loan and also landed Czech defender Martin Jiranek and Chile winger Jean Beausejour on permanent deals.

Stoke were pretty busy. They signed Eidur Gudjohnson and Jermaine Pennant on-loan. They also re-signed Salif Diao and bagged Marc Wilson from Portsmouth. Liam Lawrence and Dave Kitson moved the other way.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Arsenal didn’t bring anyone in, but they did let Armaond Traore join Juventus on-loan. The deal may become permanent later this year.

West Ham signed Blackburn’s Lars Jacobsen, while Marcus Bent joined Wolves on-loan from Birmingham. DJ Campbell went to Blackpool and Franco Di Santo, scorer of one goal in English football, left Chelsea for Wigan – who also signed Man United’s Tom Cleverly on-loan. Emiliano Insua has joined Galatasaray on-loan.

Crap Rumours Of The Week

TDD always brings up a load of rubbish. Check these out from BBC’s website. A message to those ‘informers’ writing in – Don’t waste your time next year!

“Just heard from a reliable source that Steve Bruce is to make a late effort to lure Ronaldinho to the Stadium of Light from AC Milan if the signing of Asamoah Gyan falls through”.  That’s a ruddy shame because Ron was probably looking forward to playing with Phil Bardsley.

“Scott Parker’s at Spurs Lodge”. Scott Parker or Van De Vaart? Tough choice!

“No way… coming back this morning from my holiday in Guyana, I see Brazilian Ronaldo at Heathrow Airport. I have a feeling that he might be on his way to West Ham or Tottenham.” Actually, I can ‘get’ the West Ham link. It’s about time they wasted a bit of cash.

“Gus Poyet Aston Villa bound? My mate works for his agent and Villa have made enquiries”.

* You may have noticed that this week’s blog is a little earlier this week.  This is because of the TDD and also because I am away this week. Rest assured though, I’ll be back next Friday (cue groans).

So the big transfer news this week centres on James Milner’s eventual move to City and on Javier Mascherano’s inevitable transfer to Barcelona. How do you think these two will fare at their new clubs? Personally, I think that Milner could be a gem, if Mancini plays him centrally, but I am unconvinced by Mascherano. The Argies skipper hardly embraces the ‘beautiful game’ with his combative  style, and I am not sure if this will suit Barca. At least Yaya Toure could play a bit!

The Real Talking Points

James Milner joined Manchester City and promptly played a key role in their 3-0 win over Liverpool. Stephen Ireland went the other way, and was promptly anonymous as Newcastle, led by England’s new Emile Heskey – Andy Carroll – won 6-0.

Javier Mascherano is leaving Liverpool for Barcelona for a fee of around £17.2 million. Dirk Kuyt is apparently going to reject Inter Milan’s advances in favour of staying at Anfield however. One man who definitely won’t be at Anfield this season is Alberto Aquilani. He’s joined Juventus on loan. The Scousers may use the cash from Mascherano’s transfer to buy Carlton Cole.

AC Milan are in talks with Barcelona over Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Manchester City, who only have about eight strikers, are also interested in the forward.

Big News If It Happens

West Ham and West Brom want free agent David Trezeguet. The French striker sometimes divides opinion, but you cannot argue that this would be a great signing for either club. That is of course, based on the assumption that the Spammers aren’t going to be flinging him £100K a week. (Late reports suggest that he is actually going to Spanish side Hercules).

Robinho has reportedly turned down Fenerbahce in a £20 million move. The Brazilian, outcast at City, wants a move to Spain. Don’t we all.

Arsenal have signed Sevilla’s 30-year defender, Sebastien Squillaci. He’s French, obviously. The Gunners are however, finding it rather more difficult to sign a goalkeeper. Arsene Wenger is now looking at Ajax’s Martin Stekelenburg, but the Holland keeper appears unkeen give up chasing trophies at Ajax to play at The Emirates.

Wigan have accepted a bid for Charles N’Zogbia from Birmingham.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Neymar all but sealed his stay in Brazil by signing a five-year contract extension at Santos. The Brazilian teenager was being tracked by Chelsea. The west London club have farmed Michael Mancienne out to Wolves for another season-long loan.

Edgar Davids joined Crystal Palace and he will play most of the games as a left-back.

Newcastle signed Ivorian midfielder Tiote for £3.5 million and they now looking to add Robbie Keane to their loan.

Portsmouth defender Marc Wilson is to join Stoke for £3m plus Dave Kitson and Liam Lawrence. Two proven(ish) Premier League players in exchange for an unproven defender makes it a smart move by Pompey.

Fulham have agreed a deal with PSV Eindhoven’s Mexican defender, Carlos Salcido. The defender will cost £1.6 million and he is likely to replace Anfield-bound Paul Konchesky.

And Finally… …The Man Who Talks Some Sense

Take a bow, Rio Ferdinand. The England skipper this week turned on media sceptics who have been criticising Fabio Capello, despite lauding him before the tournament. As England captain and an innocent party in England’s shambles of a World Cup, Rio was probably the only one who could have took one the incredible hypocrisy of the English media.

RUMOURFLASH: Gallas Or Cashley – Who Do You Hate More?

Finally, some action from Manchester City! All this talk over the past three weeks has been about which player City are going to sign, so I am pretty relieved that I can stop writing Mario Balotelli’s name in these blogs. Well, at least until January. Staying with City, James Milner looks like he’s finally on his way to Eastlands too. He’s a good player, but I am not quite sure how he’s going to fit into that side. Finally, Spurs may be about to capture William Gallas, once of Arsenal and Chelsea. A note of caution though, William; No-one’s made the move a success going from Arsenal to Tottenham since the mighty Rohan Ricketts!

The Real Talking Points

Mario Balotelli signed for Manchester City on Saturday for a fee believed to be around £24 million. A bit of a handful on and off the pitch, I think this move could either turn out to be a master-stroke or a total disaster. Actually, it’s more likely to be the latter. Expect him to be bleating about the cold or Shaun Wright Phillips’ general lack of ability by mid-November.

James Milner’s move finally looks like it might happen. Its unknown yet whether Stephen Ireland will be included in the deal, as he wants a £2 million pay-off from City.

William Gallas is on his way to Tottenham on a one-year deal. A little bemused by this one I have to say. Even if King and Woogate are injured, Spurs still have Dawson, Bassong, Kaboul, Corluka and Huddlestone as viable centre-back options.

Back to Manchester City transfers, Craig Bellamy joined Cardiff City on season-long loan. How can Cardiff afford even 1% of his wages? They are in huge amounts of debt!

Mezut Ozil joined Real Madrid for £12 Million. Definitely the player to watch in Europe this season, in my opinion.

Indian businessman Ahsan Ali Syed has said that he wants to plough £300 million into Blackburn. This could be big news for the Premier League (how long before the Big Four becomes the Big Eight?), but bad news for Sam Allardyce. I for one anticipate that Syed will want more for his money than Kevin Davies, Joey Barton and some long-ball thumping right-back from France.

Big News If It Happens

Shay Given has been told he can leave City on-loan after England’s “Goalkeeper For The Next 10 years”, Joe Hart, provided a keeping master-class against Spurs. Fulham and Celtic are both vying for his signature. Judging by City’s reluctance to chuck Bellamy to Spurs, I would have thought that Arsenal are out of the running on this one. Mark Schwarzer looks their best option to replace Manuel Almunia, now the division’s only dodgy keeper with the dodgy hairstyle after David James’ move to Bristol City. Some sources say that Fulham want a bit of cash and Carlos Vela in return for Schwarzer.

Brazilian wonderkid Neymar is rumoured to be on the verge of joining Chelsea from Santos.

Arsenal are close to sealing a deal for Sevilla’s 30-year defender, Sebastien Squillaci.

Other News That’s Barely Interesting

Sometime Liverpool player, Alberto Aquilani, is set to join an Italian club on loan. No news as to what club yet though.

Chelsea would like Asmir Begovic of Stoke to become their their reserve goalkeeper.

Juventus want Jermaine Jenas on-loan, the fools.

Charles N’Zogbia wants to leave Wigan. Marseille are interested.

And Finally… …Fool Of The Week

Sir Alex Ferguson, the man who virtually invented hypocrisy, has criticised clubs (“I am looking at you City!”) for ‘kamikaze’ spending. Fair dues, City would probably pay £20 million for Michael Ricketts if he began popping them in the net again, but that’s not for Ferguson to say. For here we have the man who spent £30 million on Juan Sebastian Veron, £30 million on Dimitar Berbatov and £20 million on Michael Carrick. Not to mention the £8 million they’ve just coughed up for some street-playing Portuguese midfielder who he’s never watched!

And Finally….Hero Of The Week

Paul the Physic Octopus is back. He has come out of football retirement to predict that England will win the right to host the 2018 World Cup. Paul has apparently signed a number of book and merchandise deals since he won fame for predicting the right scores at the World Cup.