Ok, it isn’t quite the end of the world but I think a few of us feel like that this morning. The usual knee-jerk reactions are gracing the airwaves and the newspapers this morning. The usual cries of “sack the manager” and “you let your country down” have been wheeled out and the nation is in mourning. I don’t know about you, but I am getting a bit fed up with this reaction after every tournament we play. I think we need to have a look at the deeper problems that beset our national team.

Firstly, let us start with a damning statistic. Since 1966, Germany has bettered England’s performance at every World Cup. Many will tell you that the Germans and the British (not just the English) are similar people and from my experience of working and socialising with Germans, which is quite considerable, I cannot really disagree. So, for nations that are so similar, how can it be that one nation seems to always be there or there about in major competitions and how can one be the perennial chokers?

According to most “experts”, yesterday’s game should have held no fears for England. Apparently, you would only swap one or two Germans for English players when looking at the teams’ man for man. If this is so, how can England have been so outclassed? I remember years ago watching Gary Mason box Lennox Lewis for the British and Commonwealth Heavyweight title. Mason was the current champion and was a good honest pro and a thoroughly decent chap by all accounts. He was undefeated in about 30 odd bouts and was up against the little known at the time, Lewis. Mason went for it whole heartedly and tried to dominate the ring. Lewis just stayed back and picked him off at will. I was around 15 at the time and it was the first time I really understood that is wasn’t always the person who took the fight to the other person that would always come out on top. When I watched West Ham in my younger days, I just remember good old swash-buckling football where we would have a go at teams and try and play good football. We would lose a lot but we would always entertain in those days. Lewis showed in that fight that sometimes it was smarter not to walk on to the jab but to stay away from Mason’s weapons are when the time was right, pounce. Yesterday’s game was a throwback to that night. The Germans identified our weaknesses and just picked us off.

Can Capello be blamed for yesterday? I think he has to take some criticism. His senior players seem to lack any discipline. Gerrard, Terry and Rooney all tried to take the game by the scruff of the neck as they often do in the Premier League but it rarely works against top class opposition. With the score at 2-1 and with about 65 minutes on the clock, Lampard took a free-kick on the edge of the box. The Germans broke away and scored the crucial 3rd. Why was there only one player left defending? If it was the 85th minute, I could have understood it. The naivety of our display was awful and Capello must take some of the blame for this. Every time the German’s came forward, they looked as if they would score. Upson was predictably outclassed yesterday but I thought Terry was by far our worst player. The midfield was overrun and it was just a thoroughly awful performance.

Did Capello stick with a 4-4-2 formation because he didn’t trust his players with anything slightly more complicated? The German team were excellent. They do look vulnerable in the centre of defence and Boateng certainly isn’t a left back but I thought the rest of team looked sharp, inventive and pacey. England looked very one paced and very one dimensional. Is the Premier League stifling the national team? The Bundesligua is still predominantly full of German players. Is it a coincidence that their players seem to make the transition from club football to international football so easily? They are playing at the highest level in their country and the Champions League and they translate this to international football. Of course, many of the English team are playing in the Champions League but are the foreign players playing for English teams stopping younger English players from getting a game?

I know most will say that if they are good enough, they will come through. I agree with this to a degree. However, whenever it comes to international football England very rarely get the better of the Germans and certainly not when it matters. There must be a reason why their current, supposedly weaker players form a better team than ours. There was coherency to their play and they exposed our many flaws. Our team had no coherency, just players trying to do it all themselves. It was amateurish.

Yes, Capello must shoulder a lot of the blame but he is one of many England managers who have not been able to go further in the competition that the Germans. Good old Harry and Roy are now being suggested as Capello replacements but do you really expect them to do better with this egotistical set of players we currently have, which seems to be the norm for our game? I don’t know what the answer is. Maybe a few of the senior players should now be left out as we look to bring through a new generation. However, the new generation looks worryingly thin on the ground. Players have got to stop believing their hype. The football reporting in most papers in this country is shocking. It seems that most of our players and fans seem to believe all they read. It is time to go back to basics and start again without Terry, Gerrard, Lampard. I worry who will replace them but we must look to the future, with or without Fabio. The Germans would do it and we have to as well.

One more thing. I hate Sepp Blatter!!!

Well, that is that then. Arguably the nicest man in football was dismissed by West Ham earlier today. Some will be rejoicing, some will  have sympathy for Zola and some just won’t care. Personally, I think Zola has been badly short changed by the club but we will come to that in a minute.

Firstly, the facts. Statistically, Zola is the most unsuccessful manager in the Hammers history winning just 23 of a possible 80 games, a win percentage of 28.75%. Before Zola, Glenn Roeder had the worst win percentage of 31.40%. The man Zola replaced, Alan Curbishley had a win percentage of 39.44%. The Hammers have produced some really insipid stuff this season. They never really had a good run and have stayed up comfortably in the end with 35 points a terrible final figure. To put this in to perspective, the Hammers were relegated in the 02-03 Premier League season with 41 points, a record for a 38 game season.

They are pretty damning statistics and some would say are difficult to argue against. But, you guessed it, argue I will!

Zola joined the Hammers just as the bubble was bursting. The money had run out. Curbishley had brought players in to the club on huge contracts. Scott Parker, Matthew Upson, Kieron Dyer, Luis Boa Morte, Lucas Neill, Craig Bellamy and Freddie Ljungberg were brought in as the Hammers tried to establish themselves in the top 10 of the league. Obviously, we know all about the problems Dyer and Ljungberg have created and experienced with the Hammers. However, when Zola came in September 08, the Icelandic banking crisis had taken hold. The owners were skint and Bellamy, their outstanding player was sold in the next transfer window. Zamora and Etherington were sold as well to raise funds and look at the seasons they have had this year. Fulham and Stoke’s players of the year. Still, the core of the team stayed together and the Hammers finished a respectable 10th, the same as the previous season.

The eve of this current season saw massive unrest at the club. The club were facing huge debts and if you believed the press, every player they had would be sold and the club was facing administration. One of the main reasons for the Hammers seeing out the previous season comfortably was their solid back five. They had the England goalkeeper in Robert Green, Lucas Neill, the skipper at right back with Upson, Tomkins and Collins filling the central defence and the Congolese left back Herita Ilunga forming a solid backline. Just before the dawn of the season, Collins was sold to Villa to help release some funds to buy an attacking player. Collins went on to have a great season for Villa as I am sure Villa fans will testify. But for, for me, the biggest loss of all was Lucas Neill. He has a well-earned reputation in England for being a football mercenary and following the money. Because of this, I never felt Neill got the recognition he deserved. He was a brilliant captain and organiser. He left and the defence lost its leader. Ilunga started the season but hardly played after Christmas.

The team was stripped of all pace. Diamanti was brought in from Italy. A player with great ability but also a bit of a luxury player. There were the inevitable injuries every team will suffer but Zola managed to keep the club moving along before Christmas.

Then the two Davids’ came along. It was quite clear they didn’t fancy Zola. They failed miserably to back him and launched tirades against the players. They didn’t seem to realise that Zola was working closely with Gianluca Nani and Scott Duxbury with recruiting players and it seemed to work. They were shopping in the bargain basement and found a few gems. They found the odd mistake as well (Savio anyone?) but they seemed to work well together. I appreciate that cuts needed to be made but when you are operating a Director of Football policy, surely that needs to stay in place until at least the end of the season. All of Zola’s confidants had been sacked except Steve Clarke.

Most English fans think the Director of Football thing as a joke. Look how Spurs have benefitted since they gave control to one man. However, this seemed to work for Zola. He wanted to coach the players. He would pick players to sign with Nani and Duxbury and they were doing ok. I don’t think it was any surprise the club went in to free fall when Zola was left on his own.

I am not saying Zola is the greatest manager but he deserved better than the treatment he received. You could say his inability to find a system to get the most of their most skilful player, Diamanti is his fault, the uninspiring displays, especially away from home are all down to Zola. However, I don’t think people should be so naïve to think this is all Zola’s fault. I fully believe the team would not have gone through their turgid end of the season if Nani and Duxbury were still around. Managers need support not brash little men telling them and players how it is before a big game. By all means do this in confidence but don’t splash it across the press everywhere. It was hugely destabilising for the team as were many other Sullivan comments. If someone is under-performing, there are ways, as a manager to try and improve performance. Public humiliation is not the answer, ask Phil Brown.

So the Hammers are looking for another boss. I am very disappointed for Zola. I believe he will be a better manager for this experience and I hope he goes on to be a top boss somewhere. Who do you think is the man to lead the Hammers in to a new era? Who would want to work with two chairmen, one who cannot help himself but say all the wrong things and another who seems to clear up his mess? Intriguing times ahead at the Boleyn.

Just when you thought it was all over, all bets are on again following the dramatic results from this weekend. Chelsea could almost touch the title with 17 seconds remaining of the Manchester derby on Saturday lunchtime.

As football pundits annoyingly remind us every season “never write off Man Utd”. I think even Fergie had given up on this season being a United vintage and had conceded the title to the blue side of London. Then one of Fergie’s golden generation ghosted in to the box unmarked and guided a header in to the corner of the net. It may mean nothing at the end of the season or it may mean everything. All we do know at the moment is that it has kept the title race going and all is still to play for. As pleased as Scholesy must have been with his winning goal, was there really any need for Gary Neville’s reaction at the final whistle? I’m sure Neville slipped Scholesy the tongue as he planted one on Scholesy’s north. Ah, the modern day professional footballer. Could you imagine Jack Charlton planting one on Billy Bremner’s lips?

The mood at Chelsea must have darkened as soon as the nuggety, ginger one had scored to keep the title race alive. Ancelotti must have hoped that the result from earlier would galvanise his team to produce a champions performance at one of Chelsea’s lucky grounds. Instead, he got an anaemic performance from his team that seemed to lack the strength and guile required to win the title. They were outplayed by a hungry and quite brilliant Tottenham team that left the boys from the Lane with a brilliant chance of finishing in the top four come the end of the season. Tottenham have had more problems beating Chelsea and Arsenal over the past 20 years than any other team and to deservedly beat them both in a week has been remarkable. I’m not known for praising Tottenham but Redknapp and his team deserve enormous credit for their performances, especially after the heartbreak of their semi-final defeat last week. Well done Spurs. As long as they steer clear of Lasagne, fourth place is well within their grasp.

As for Chelsea, they know that they are still involved in a titanic struggle to regain the title. They have three big games remaining. How will they cope on Saturday against a Stoke team that are not afraid to play the ball high in to the box without their captain, Terry who was quite rightly shown a red card on Saturday? Anyone else worried about Terry’s from ahead of the World Cup? Drogba seems to have a hernia problem and could miss games. Maybe the title is not quite over yet.

Arsenal were out of it last week and they are still out of it after snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Fair play to Wigan who kept on going but no team should lose a game when leading 2-0 with 10 minutes to go. That result is a real horror for Arsenal and another season of flattering to deceive from the Gunners will leave their fans very upset. Where to now for Wenger? Should he be trying to sign Joe Hart or Rob Green for the keeping position? A new centre-half must be a requirement as well as a striker to put the ball away. How many goals would someone like Defoe score at a team like Arsenal?

On a personal note, I will be hoping the weekend’s football action ends with another minor miracle. Being a West Ham fan for nearly 30 years, I have never had the pleasure of an away win at Anfield. 1963 was the last time the Hammers triumphed up there. I fully expect another whipping this evening but I will be watching with hope as always. Come on you Irons and enjoy the run in chaps to this strange but great season.

West Ham’s truly awful season plummeted to new depths on Tuesday at the Boleyn. A very well organised and clinical Wolves team came to the east end and did a real job on the hapless Hammers. I stood there for most of the evening with the same glum expression I have worn for most of this season. By the end of the game, though it wasn’t just the football that was eating me up inside.

First, to the football. West Ham were poor. They look disorganised, low on confidence and were not playing as a team. Instead of flying out of the blocks with high-tempo intensity they seemed happy to sit back. They could not string anything together and totally lacked any cohesion. Too many players seem to have hit a poor run of form at the worst possible time. The skipper, Upson has been looking shakier and shakier over the past few games and he was totally outplayed by the excellent Kevin Doyle upfront for Wolves. Another World Cup hopeful, Carlton Cole tried his best but still looks far from full fitness after his return from injury. Potential match winner, Alessandro Diamanti looked out of sorts and in fairness, Wolves had obviously done their homework on the gifted but erratic Italian. Keep him off his left foot and he will struggle. The usual excellence of Scott Parker seemed to be the only bright spark for the Hammers as he tried to single handedly drive us on.

Yes, the Hammers were poor but that should not take away from a brilliant performance from Wolves. They displayed brilliant unity, stopped the Hammers playing in midfield with young Mancienne playing in the middle breaking up most things West Ham put together, most of the time legally! The livewire Doyle ran the Hammers ragged at the back with some clever runs and touches. The score line certainly didn’t flatter them.

Yes, the performance did grind my gears but the worst thing of the night for me was the way many of our fans reacted to events. Wolves’ first goal came after a terrible mistake from James Tomkins at the back. I seriously believe this guy could go all the way to the top and he will learn from experiences like this. He had also been badly at fault for both goals in our previous home defeat against Bolton. He is low on confidence but Zola has been left with very few options at centre back. I expect he would have liked to have taken Tomkins out of the spotlight for a few games to work on his confidence. Unfortunately, the excellent James Collins was sold to generate some cash at the start of the season, Gabbidon came in for Tomkins the other week and was injured again and De Costa, our only other centre back with first team experience was serving a suspension. Tomkins needed the support of the Hammers faithful to get him through but was largely derided around where I stood. He seemed to have been carrying a bit of a knock as well and his head went down. In fairness, part of the chicken run and Bobby Moore stand did try to lift him when he went over for a throw a few minutes later but that wasn’t the reaction of some of the mindless idiots around me.

The atmosphere was great at the start of the game. The fans started to turn after the first goal. Then the boos came at half-time and then after each goal in the second half. Most of the ground was empty with 10 minutes to go. The fans had voted with their feet. Most of the ground sang to the players that “you’re not fit to wear the shirt”. It was very depressing.

I can never bring myself to boo anyone. I get as frustrated as the next fan but I believe abusing the players is not the answer. Poor Tomkins needed support and this was not evident amongst many on Tuesday. Benni Mccarthy played poorly on his home debut and clearly did not look match fit but to boo the bloke as he was substituted was wrong. The fans even booed Franco when he came off against Bolton last week but they were loving him again on Tuesday when he came on. Maybe I am being naieve and I am sure many feel that they pay their money and it is their choice to boo, but it cannot help the team. It seems that everyone knows that if you score first against West Ham, you are halfway there because their supporters will turn on them.

West Ham fans moan about the fickleness of Tottenham fans, the plastic Chelsea fans and the cockney red Manchester United fans. However, we are just as bad. Now is not the time to abandon the team and the manager no matter what you think of him. I will be there again on Saturday for a game that we will struggle to win but my support will always be there for the club I love and there will be no booing from me. Come on you Irons!!!

The case for the defence, your honour!

Nearly a week has passed and the fall-out from the John Terry saga is still rumbling on. That darling of celebs, well anyone with a bob or two to make, Max Clifford assures us that we will finally know the truth by the end of the week. To be honest, I don’t care who has been doing what to whom. I don’t care about supposed abortions. I don’t care that Toni Terry (great name that) is on holiday in Dubai to get away from it all. All I care about is the damaging affect this is going to have on the England squad come World Cup time.

Only the most one-eyed Chelsea and England fans can be surprised by the revelations of JT’s infidelity. He is and has always been a grade A moron of the highest order. Night club punch-ups, abusing American tourist at Heathrow after 9/11 and supposed other affairs if we are to believe all we read. He is a class less individual. However, he is more than a good defender and is a top captain. Team mates respond to him. Now this maybe that many of them are morons as well but he does have a flair for leadership and is the kind of captain players love to play with.

So what happens now? Should Terry fall on his sword (isn’t that what Miss Peroncell did)? Is the weight of public opinion so against him that he must stand down? Over to you Mr Capello. Who do you think should be the new captain if we do need one? Have a look at our rogue’s gallery and tell us what you think.

First up is Cashley. A man seemingly obsessed with money he nearly crashed his car when he heard of Arsenal’s offer to keep him at their club. He has also asked for time to pay his fine for the speeding ban he received last week. I’m sure him and Cheryl are struggling to make ends meet!! Another player famously caught playing away, can he really be England skipper? By the way, as lovely she is, there must be something wrong with that girl to be with him.

Next we have Terry’s old mucker, Mr Lampard. He of the holiday sex tape fame and the same Heathrow incident involving Terry after 9/11. He seems to be back in favour with the England fans and is a guaranteed starter. Would he agree to captain the team if he is as close to Terry as some would have us believe?

Could Rio be the man? He of the same sex tape scandal as Lampard and the absent-minded fellow who missed a rather important appointment a few years ago. An 8 month ban followed for Rio. Like Lampard, he has grown up a hell of a lot over the past few years but is having a horrible season blighted by injury.

Stevie G anyone? Mr Liverpool has been another of England’s most vital players over the past few years. He blotted his copybook a little last year with a punch-up in a Liverpool night spot (he was acquitted). He probably has the least chequered past but is he the man?

Rooney. What a player. The man is on fire and enjoying his best ever season. I love him and he is my current favourite player. He has a few ladies of an older persuasion knocking around with the skeletons in his closet. He seems to be over that now (what were you thinking?) Should our best player have the armband?

So there we go. All of them have very good reasons not to pick them as captain if we are going purely on the moral grounds the press are shoving down our throats. The modern day footballer is never going to set the world alight at CERN, NASA or in Parliament. They are footballers and have their embarrassing pasts as we all do. Would I sack Terry? I can’t stand the bloke but if the players can still play with him, then I would keep him. If not, Rio would be the man for me. A far better defender than Terry in my opinion but not as good a skipper. I wouldn’t want to burden Rooney with captaincy. What say you?

That controversial figure, Mido has returned to the Premier League to join the slightly subdued Hammers (I can’t call them happy Hammers). So desperate to prove his worth, he is reportedly earning just a grand a week. Even more desperately, he is joining a club whose fans once referred to him as the “shoe bomber”. Times must be tough.

As we know, the Hammers have a naughty element of supporters as do all other teams. Mido was singled out immediately by the Hammers fans as, a, he played for Tottenham and b, he was a bit too Egyptian and so, of course, a closet terrorist. He was compared to the English chap, Richard Reid who tried to blow up a trans-Atlantic flight with a hidden bomb in his shoe. In fairness, there was a resemblance between Mido and Reid and so the “shoe bomber” chant stuck. West Ham fans were branded as despicable and rightly so by the press and Mido.

So imagine my surprise when I heard the fiery Egyptian was returning to Blighty with the Hammers. Mido is quite clearly in the last chance saloon and pimping himself to a club he must have a strong distaste for must be quite a come down. It seems clubs have tired of his disruptive nature, his time-bomb (sorry) temperament and his indifferent performances. Yes, he has ability but can he make it count?

Is it a gamble from the Hammers? Some would argue at a grand week it is a no-brainer. However, I would be a little concerned about his chequered past and his disruptive influence on a small, young squad that has shown great unity in what has been quite a depressing season. Can he banish the Hammers boo-boy chants or is he only worth a grand a week?

Please note, any derogatory comments made in this piece are not the views of the writer or UK Football Finder.

So, after months of doubt and negotiations, West Ham United was sold on Tuesday. There were a number of bidders, some more serious than others for the famous old club but we now have a winner, ladies and gentlemen. The club has returned to the bosom of the east end (well, the leafy suburbs of Essex) in the hands of the two Davids’. No, not the classic Spitting Image sketch of politicians of the time, Owen and Steel (Oh, David!) but the porn kings, Sullivan and Gold (Oh, David!)

I’m a life long Hammers fan and season ticket holder. It has been very hard to watch over the past 4 or 5 years as my beloved club became the real-life Eastenders. Turmoil and crisis seemed to be everywhere you turned over the past few years. We used to laugh at clubs such as Tottenham and Newcastle with their ongoing troubles but we have regularly out done them over the past few years. Tottenham even seem to be running quite well now as a club and they are certainly doing the business on the pitch. In the last few years, the soap opera that is West Ham has seen relegation scraps, Icelandic owners bringing the club to it’s knees by spending silly amounts on some fairly average players (and a few good ones), defeat on penalties in the FA Cup final, our prize striker retiring from the game at the age of 26, Pardew and Curbishley, our sponsor going bust, some recent crowd trouble with our mates from the other side of the river and of course, the infamous Tevez saga (I’m not going to add gate to the end of Tevez. Why the hell is every single crisis in the press described with the word gate on the end of it?)!!!!

The Hammers have been dying over the past 18 months or so. No money to spend because of the ridiculous excesses of the past regime, it really has been a case of battening down the hatches. Players we would have liked to have kept had to be sold. We were desperately seeking for a sponsor to fill the void left by XL. Sheffield United were taking us to the cleaners. It seemed that everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Some would argue that the club deserved this after Tevezga, sorry, excuse me, the Tevez saga.

And now West Ham has a chance. They have been given a lifeline and boy, they needed it. David and David (Oh, David!) may not have been everyone’s cup of tea and I admit, I was a little non-plussed by the events of the past few days. I don’t want purveyors of smut ruling my club!!! However, after watching the press conference yesterday, I found myself dismounting my moral high-horse, ahem, and warmed to them. I can’t say I’m sold but it’s amazing what a few words spun in the right way can do to re-new hope. I think Hammers fans have been so devoid of hope for so long that any green shoots such as yesterday are a welcome. Hammers fans of old were generally known for their optimism but as the past few years have rumbled on, the eternal optimist has given way to a fraught and nervous fan. The Boleyn Ground was always an intimidating place to come and play but over the past few years the nervousness of the crowd has made the Boleyn a much more welcoming place. I hope the announcement yesterday may have restored a bit of faith amongst the faithful.

David and David, please take care of my Hammers and restore a little pride. Who knows, Karen Brady, the first lady of football may use the Hammers as a project in her new role as one of Alan Sugar’s team leaders on The Apprentice this year. Who can make the Hammers a £100 million to clear their debts? David and David (Oh, David”) will have to sell a lot of dirty mags to make that kind of money. I for one hope that the current owners stay “hired” and bring some much needed stability to the club. As in the words of the J Giels Band “my angel is a centrefold”! My beloved is now in the hands of the centrefold kings. Look after her, please!

Another Premiership weekend has passed and again, we see a lot of surprising results. Does anyone want to win the Premiership this year?

Firstly, we had Liverpool losing at Portsmouth. The once mighty Reds are working as well as a Channel Tunnel train at the moment. Their two “world class” players played and they were still stuffed. Chilly times for Rafa ahead.

Fulham putting three unanswered past the once impenetrable defence that was Manchester United’s. In fairness to the Red Devils, they have the worst defence injury crisis in recent memory. Still, you just don’t expect it. How well are Fulham playing at the moment? Great to see a club being run on a sensible budget with an excellent manager doing so well. Zamora for England? Maybe not but he really is playing some lovely stuff. When the ball hits the net, like a ——— rocket, that’s Zamora!!!

Chelsea couldn’t get past a gutsy Hammers display at the Boleyn on Sunday. They were quite ordinary in all honesty and were fortunate to get away with a draw. Two things I noticed whilst at the game. First the positive, how good was Drogba’s effort in the second-half? I was at the other end of the pitch but thought it was in as I saw it go over Green’s head. Goal of the decade contender it would have been. Secondly, Carvalho and Ballack may be good professional football players but they are also professional cheats. For family reasons, I have some affection for Chelsea but you really can see why other supporters hate them so much when they have those two in their ranks. I suppose it is to be expected with Terry as their leader. Great chant yesterday to the tune of the Addams family. His Mother is a stealer, his Father is a dealer his sister is a squealer, the Terry family (please note this is not the view of UKfootballfinder ☺).

Arsenal won. Maybe they want to win the title then. Bit naughty that stunt pulled by Nasri, though. Are the Arse going back to the days of Vierra et al, when sneaky, petulant fouls were the norm? Hull and Arsenal don’t like each other much, do they? Can’t wait for the return at the KC for more aggro.

Was Wolves’ result at the weekend vindication for Mick McCarthy to play a weakened side in mid-week at Old Trafford? 9 points from 12 for Wolves is a great return.

Finally, the biggest news, Sparky given his marching orders at Eastlands. I think it is disgraceful. Some will say that Hughes knew what he was getting in to but nobody deserves to be treated in that way. Martin Jol was treated in similar fashion by that awful club in North London when they courted Ramos. I hope it will end similarly for Mancini. Nothing against him and I had a lot of time for him as a player. I just think the treatment of Hughes is wrong.

I know he spent a lot of money. He made them in to a great attacking team to watch. Yes, they were a bit porous at the back and this should have been tightened up. One thing I would say is that he had lots of money to spend but could not get the defenders in to improve that defence. Terry turned them down, Man Utd wouldn’t sell Rio so who was available to buy. He paid too much money for two average defenders in Toure and Lescott so should anyone be surprised at their poor backline? I will be interested to see how Mancini changes things and I am sure the enterprising, free flowing football played under Hughes will be a thing of the past and that City will become a lot more Italian. Yes, they only won 2 games in 11. They also only lost 2 all season. It seems the City board have spun it using the former and not the latter.

Can’t wait for the Christmas games. I fully expect the top 6 to lose their games, for Mark Hughes to be Fergie’s new assistant at United (funnier things have happened) and for John Terry to give me a tour of Santa’s grotto. Where did I leave my wallet?

Last season, I wrote a piece that attributed a song to each Premier League team that reflected their current status or something that was going on at the club at the time. At the risk of going over old ground, I thought I would update the songs for the teams in this years Premiership with my current musings. Just to give you a flavour of some of my songs from last year we had Blowin’ in the Wind for Hull’s chances of staying up, Stoke were Livin’ on a Prayer and Bolton had the Ramones, I wanna be sedated! Well at least I was right about Bolton! Here we go again pop pickers.

Chelsea

I think most will have Chelsea as their favourites for title this year. They have a good squad with a hard-nosed edge to it and packed with experience. It has to be that old 80’s classic for the boys from the Bridge, Solid by Ashford & Simpson. Everything about them seems “solid”. However, will they be toasting Champions League success this May or will it be another case of You Can’t Always Get What You Want, The Rolling Stones?

Arsenal

The artisans of the Premiership. I think not many would argue with that. I think they are playing some glorious stuff at the moment and with a little more steel could really run Chelsea close for the title. Ocean Colour Scene, It’s a Beautiful Thing is the only way to describe their play at the moment.

Man Utd

Now in the past we could have used this song to describe Fergie as a manager. In fact, we still can. He is the best, the big enchilada, the top dog, the big cheese, the head honcho! However, no one can berate a referee with the same ability as the “Alan” wily old fox (see what I did there?) at Old Trafford and he has been doing plenty of it recently. Nobody Does it Better, Carly Simon. Neil Warnock might have a shout as a great ref abuser but come on, he isn’t fit to lace Fergie’s boots.

Spurs

Being a Hammer, I always took great delight in the fact that Tottenham were as rubbish as we were. In the old days, The Foo Fighters, The Pretender would have been a good one for the delusional bunch from the lane. Maybe Aerosmith and Dream On for Champions League football for the Spuds. But this season they are playing some lovely stuff. Getting Better, The Beatles for them. “I have to admit they’re getting better”!!

Aston Villa

After the big fall-out between Martin O’Neill and Nigel Reo Coker the other week, the pair seem to have built some bridges and patched up their differences. Indeed, Reo Coker was captain for Villa last weekend. However, being a Hammer, I cannot resist an opportunity to get one in on the former Hammers skipper. Fighting with your manager, whatever next? He really is The (Reo) Joker, The Steve Miller Band.

Last season, I wrote a piece that attributed a song to each Premier League team that reflected their current status or something that was going on at the club at the time. At the risk of going over old ground, I thought I would update the songs for the teams in this years Premiership with my current musings. Just to give you a flavour of some of my songs from last year we had Blowin’ in the Wind for Hull’s chances of staying up, Stoke were Livin’ on a Prayer and Bolton had the Ramones, I wanna be sedated! Well at least I was right about Bolton! Here we go again pop pickers.

Manchester City

The richest team in the world. We could have Mr Blue Sky (sky blue), ELO for the boys from Eastlands. I think we should stick with the opening song from Goodfellas. Tony Bennett, Rags to Riches. How long before they are challenging for the Premiership with the riches on offer? It won’t be long.

Liverpool

How the mighty have fallen. The Scousers are in 7^th place in the league, almost certainly out of the Champions League and trying to patch a team together for their next game with a growing injury list. Is this the team that were going to win everything this year? That is what I was told by a few of my reds loving friends. The Kinks, Where have all the good times gone?

Sunderland

Andy Reid. He loves a pie that boy! Well maybe Andy Reid of old did but not these days. He has shifted some weight this summer and surprise, surprise his performances have improved (hmmm, no “carry on” comments, please!!). Has he stopped eating the takeaways or is he in the gym more? I am going with the takeaways. I need to give him that song that went on about McDonalds, KFC and Pizza Hut. I don’t know the name of the song or the band and I refuse to look it up on Google, even in the name of cutting-edge (well this article) journalism!!

Stoke City

Stoke City are the envy of many a Championship team, they’ve spent well and have a built a fortress at the Britanna Stadium in the process. Not the prettiest side to watch but we are in a results game after all. No Place Like Home by Squeeze is the perfect song for the Potters.

Burnley

Burnley are the new kids on the block. Like Stoke before them, they too have built a fortress at home, beating the likes Man Utd & Everton. However, their away leaves a lot to be desired picking up just one point on the road. Step by Step by New Kids on the Block sums Burnley up for me.

Last season, I wrote a piece that attributed a song to each Premier League team that reflected their current status or something that was going on at the club at the time. At the risk of going over old ground, I thought I would update the songs for the teams in this years Premiership with my current musings. Just to give you a flavour of some of my songs from last year we had Blowin’ in the Wind for Hull’s chances of staying up, Stoke were Livin’ on a Prayer and Bolton had the Ramones, I wanna be sedated! Well at least I was right about Bolton! Here we go again pop pickers.

Check out part 1

Fulham
With Rwoy Hodgson at the realm anything is possible for Fulham. He worked miracles to keep them up, he worked even bigger miracles securing a top 7 finish last term. I could go for The Jackons Sisters, I Believe in Miracles or how about Tom Jones’ Gwreen Gwreen Grass of home.

Everton

After witnessing the Toffee men on Sunday at Upton Park, I was left with the over-riding feeling that they really are an awful team to watch. They won the game on Sunday scoring with their first 2 shots and then had 1 more before the end of the game. Jimmy is a little bitter you may say. Well, I suppose I am but they really are an ugly team and they love a foul or two. I sat there (Un)comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd.

Wigan

Have been a little inconsistent this year. They can beat Chelsea one week and then get taken to the cleaners the next by Portsmouth. Under Martinez, they are playing an entertaining brand of football. Titus Bramble has had his detractors over the years but he seems to be having a very good season. So Titus, (B)ramble On by Led Zeppelin.

Blackburn

Sorry Blackburn fans, I am going to be rude about your team as well. Now I can’t say that I take too much time to watch Blackburn because I usually find it quite painful. Any team managed by Big Sam is, in my opinion, quite painful to watch. Shame on those of you who wanted him to be England manager! You know who you are!!! Anyway, football is supposed to be played on the floor according to the late, great Brian Clough and not in the air. Well, don’t haunt Ewood Park, Brian. In the Air Tonight, Phil Collins for Blackburn. Or in the air in the afternoon, Sunday lunchtime or any time Sam’s team are playing.

Birmingham

Birmingham have made a solid but low key return to the top flight. They are a good unit but look as though they will find it hard to come by goals this season. How sick they must have been by the diving antics at Anfield on Monday night. There is only one song from the brummie boys this week. The one man on the tip of their tongue this week. Come on chaps, your best French pronunciation is needed here. Wake Me Up Before You Ngog Ngog, Wham. Sorry!

Last season, I wrote a piece that attributed a song to each Premier League team that reflected their current status or something that was going on at the club at the time. At the risk of going over old ground, I thought I would update the songs for the teams in this years Premiership with my current musings. Just to give you a flavour of some of my songs from last year we had Blowin’ in the Wind for Hull’s chances of staying up, Stoke were Livin’ on a Prayer and Bolton had the Ramones, I wanna be sedated! Well at least I was right about Bolton! Here we go again pop pickers.

Bolton
I was terribly unfair on the Trotters last year and gave them the song I Wanna be Sedated, by The Ramones. However, the football they are playing this year seems to be a little better. Why do Bolton fans hate Gary Megson so much? He seems to have done a pretty good job up there and they can hardly complain about the style of football after Big Sam. So for the Bolton fans, Hate Everything About You, Ugly Kid Joe!

Hull
They defied the odds last season and stayed up but can they do it again? The manager is under particular scrutiny at the moment and is probably feeling Where Did All the Love Go, Kasabian. He really seems to be a dead man walking and doesn’t know if he is coming or going. Phil Brown is Nowhere Man, The Beatles.

West Ham
My happy Hammers are not so happy at the moment. The little Italian maestro Zola is sending out plenty of Good Vibrations, The Beach Boys but there doesn’t seem to be much joy around at the Boleyn at the moment. With the clubs debts catching up with them and a poor start to the season, the owners are under intense pressure to recoup some money. There is a genuine feeling that in the January window Everything Must Go, The Manic Street Preachers!

Wolves
Hungry Like the Wolf, Duran Duran. They maybe hungry but they haven’t picked up too many points so far this season. Will they be one of the teams to be heading Down, Down by Status Quo?

Portsmouth
They have had an awful start to the season but seem to be improving. We are going back to the 80’s for the chaps from Fratton Park. Yazz and the Plastic Population, The Only Way is Up. That isn’t true, actually. They could stay there for the season and go down but you know what I mean!