I have just seen the Italian World Cup squad and I am amazed. In this blessed time of huge continental football exposure and coverage, I am unable to recognise more than a handful of names. Those I do recognise, such as Gattuso, Zambrotta and Cannavaro, could easily be classed as past their prime. Whether this is an indictment on my lack of Italian football knowledge or the standard of the Azzurri’s squad remains to be seen. If it is the latter, then I feel Italy will be in good company in South Africa.

To my mind, many of the larger nations, in footballing terms, are poor imitations of their former greats. Brazil, despite being the favourites, are far from a vintage team. Brazil’s approach will be pragmatic and based on a solid defence rather than outrageous attacking flair. Their near neighbours, Argentina, have arguably the strongest squad in South Africa but are likely to be crippled by Maradona’s ineptitude as a coach. Of the European contingent, Germany look poor again with a number of key players missing while France, unbelievably, still have the comical Domenech in charge as well as an ageing and divided squad. Portugal limped through qualification and last week only managed to draw with the Cape Verde Islands. Only Holland and Spain could argue to be worthy of comparison with squads from yesteryear.

So for these reasons, I feel this could truly be the year of the underdog and the dark horse. Indeed, this could have been the year for an African nation to really have a tilt at the trophy. Unfortunately, the draw has not been kind to any of their representatives so I have plumped for other nations to make more of an unexpected mark.

First up is Chile. I am very excited about Chile. The little I’ve seen of them suggest a team hell-bent on attacking, playing with wingers and more wingers with a sprinkling of playmakers. In Humberto Suazo, Chile possess the top scorer in the South American qualifiers; but it is behind him where their real strengths lie. Alexis Sanchez is the nearest thing to Cristiano Ronaldo aside from the pouting Portuguese himself. Full of tricks, pace and end-product, Sanchez is sure to be a star this summer. He will also be aided by Matias Fernandez, a gifted playmaker, and Jorge Valdivia. Valdivia in particular will be worth watching for his particular box of tricks and eye for the sublime. Indeed, it is worth being thankful that the Chile coach, Marcelo Bielsa, will certainly give license to these players to entertain and attack unrelentingly in South Africa. I really fancy Chile to shock this summer, and even if they don’t, they will certainly be worth watching. Spain vs Chile should be the game of the first round.

Next, I also like the look of Serbia. Uncompromising and impressive in qualifying, Serbia will be difficult to beat for any nation. I fancy them to topple Germany and top Group D. If this happens, it is obvious that this will be due to the defensive attributes of their back-line, which impressively includes Nemanja Vidic and Branislav Ivanovic. Ahead of them, Dejan Stankovic and Milan Jovanovic suggest that the Serbs have quality and strength all over the field. As an Englishman, I am crossing my fingers that England play Germany in the second round and not Raddy Antic’s men.

My final tip is another South American nation. While I think Paraguay have an excellent chance of causing an upset against Italy in Group F, I will plump for Uruguay as the team to emerge at the top of the tricky Group A and make more of an impact this summer. Once again, it is an impressive attacking triumvirate that sets the neutral’s pulse racing. Diego Forlan is well known to Premier league followers and his qualities do not need to be extolled here. His partner up front, Luis Suarez, however, may be more of an unknown package. Coming off the back of an excellent season for Ajax, he has been linked with £30m moves to Man United and Chelsea recently and it is not surprising. Suarez has a bit of everything about him, with quick feet and a creative eye; he is a decent each-way bet for the Tournament top scorer. Finally, behind these two, if he plays, the young Nicolas Lodeiro could cement his burgeoning reputation. Also on Ajax’s books, if Lodeiro is given the chance to bed into the World Cup, he could be the creative force behind any possible Uruguayan challenge.

Overall, I think this could be another South Korea/Japan 2002 scenario. Shocks galore. So, get your money on some of the dark horses this summer and enjoy watching the creative instincts of some of the lesser nations. Come on you Chile!!!

The recent demise of Paul Gascoigne has once again highlighted the pertinence of the cliche “flawed genius”. Not the first and certainly not the last footballer to self-destruct, Matt Quinn takes a look at England’s most talented footballer of our generation and the struggles he faces surrounding the influences around his daily life.

A life after football?

All had been quiet on the Gazza front since the infamous TV documentary Surviving Gaza, screened last year. We could have only presumed he was on the road to recovery and finally getting his life back on track.

But some people can’t keep away from the spotlight as Gazza was reportedly arrested after getting drunk on a fishing trip.

Gascoigne 42, dressed in a Newcastle tracksuit, was handcuffed and carted off when police allegedly found him worse for wear and staggering outside a village pizza parlour.

The former Spurs, Newcastle and England star became abusive when he was asked to move his van which was blocking the entrance.

An onlooker said “He was so drunk he could hardly stand. He’d clearly had too much to drink.”

“He didn’t want handcuffs on and there was a fracas. Officers put him in a car. He looked old and frail.”

A local said: “He fell out of the van.”

Another said: “He was challenging us to pool but at one point sat with his head in his hands, saying, ‘I’m so embarrassed. I’m a legend and shouldn’t be in this state’.”

He was kept overnight in prison to sober up before being questioned.

Tortured Genius

It was only last year that Gazza made the front pages with his antics as police had to drag him out of an overflowing bath tub, after the tortured genius had attempted to end his suffering in a London hotel. Earlier staff reports had suggested that he had asked for a steak knife to be brought up to his room, without a steak. It used to be very easy to view Gascoigne as a loveable rogue who couldn’t keep out of mischief. With every new story that breaks, however, it is obvious that a modern tragedy is unfurling in front of a baying but sympathetic media. There is vulnerability about Paul Gascoigne that has helped him maintain his status amongst England’s best-loved sportsmen, despite various serious indiscretions, such as wife beating.

Tears of a clown

The whole chaotic journey, that is Gazza’s life, has been predictable from even the early days. Always known as the prankster in the dressing room, it was evident that Gascoigne loved the banter and camaraderie involved in football. However, he seemed unable to separate where the fun ended and the serious business of football began. Despite Alex Ferguson’s desperate attempts to get Gazza to sign for Manchester United, Gascoigne’s advisors persuaded him to head for the bright lights of London and Spurs. A later move to Lazio saw him become an isolated and miserable figure. This mistake was not learnt from when he began a strange tenure as a manager in China again forcing Gazza to become introspective and self-analytical. His advisors and those close to him deserted him as his fortune and talent waned, the banter left behind by the more professional, continental outlook of football and a less sympathetic public saw Gascoigne long for the halcyon days of Italia 90. This longing saw Gazza turn to drink, with several trips in and out of rehab, and thus cut the shambolic figure he is today. Poor choices throughout his career and a vaguely idiotic personality, despite being combined with unquestioned talent, destroyed the once fresh-faced Geordie and the once crown prince of English soccer.

Aston Villa 1 (Platt) Bradford City 0. Old Second Division. 1988. This was the first football match I ever watched and I instantly fell in love with Villa’s goal scoring hero, a fish shaped man called David Platt. I later came to realise he wasn’t that good but the point is that, at the time, I thought he was a footballing god. Since this halcyon day in 1988, I have had man-football-crushes on many players; players who could do no wrong in my eyes. Dean Saunders, Hristo Stoichkov, Juan Pablo Angel, Gheorge Hagi, Juan Carlos Valeron, Tomas Rosicky, Rui Costa, Lionel Messi have all held my affections for various periods of time and if I ever caught anyone bad mouthing these players I would instantly write that person off as a footballing moron, incapable of understanding the beautiful game and not worthy of having an opinion.

Unfortunately for a few regrettable souls, Newton’s law of every action having an equal and opposite reaction apparently applies to football, or at least my views on football. Down the years there have been players who, try as they might, could never capture my imagination or heart. On the whole these players were Aston Villa players. I would be forced to watch them play week in, week out without any real comprehension of how they actually became professional footballers. And so it was on Saturday, England vs Brazil, that I was forced to watch two of these poor unfortunates turn out (somehow) for England.

Shaun Wright-Phillips and James Milner were the two players in question and I will deal with both in turn.

Firstly and briefly, SWP. From all the match reports I have read, most commentators appear to agree with me with me on this one. SWP was bloody terrible and managed to squander possession almost every single time he received the ball. The one thing Capello has managed to drill into this England team is the importance of possession at international level. You cannot afford to be complacent with the ball and unfortunately for SWP, that appears to be his main talent. I would hope that his horror show on Saturday has finally put pay to his international career, particularly with more stellar and cultured talents to come back into the squad.

However, with James Milner the same cannot be said. Capello appears to rate him rather highly and judging from the press received, so do the football watching public. I saw one article on the BBC from their chief football writer stating that Milner had all but booked his place on the plane to South Africa following Saturday’s performance. I would be utterly astounded by this outlandish praise for Milner, if I didn’t watch Villa play each week. Each week I am left infuriated by Milner’s performances and lack of creativity and awareness when in possession. Each week I log onto chat-boards and read match-reports and find out Milner was voted Man of the Match. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced such a detachment from the general public on the assessment of a footballer before. I honestly feel Milner is a rather poor journeyman who is nothing more than a willing worker. Yes, he works hard and tracks back and runs a lot but this is the absolute minimum I expect from a footballer. I could work hard and track back and run a lot given a chance for Villa or England. In other countries this “quality” in a footballer is not held in such high esteem. In England however, a hard-worker always gets the fan’s approval. I understand this in essence, but the one thing I, personally, appreciate in a footballer is ability. An ability to manipulate a football in ways that I could never do. Milner has never managed to do this. His delivery from out wide is patchy, his passing is, at times, atrocious, his awareness and creativity when on the ball is negligible. I have never seen him beat a full-back with anything approaching genuine skill and his second touch is generally a tackle.

On Saturday, Milner was doing what he always does. Running around and not a lot else. That Darren Bent was not awarded a mark out of ten for his performance in some newspapers should be a damning indictment, not of the Sunderland man, but of the service he received from out wide and the supposedly creative instincts of Milner and SWP. As a Villa fan, I am aware that Ashley Young has not been on top form this year, but a 50% Young is still more creative and valuable to a team than James Milner ever will be. For the record, he also works just as hard as Milner. I cannot understand why Capello consistently overlooks Villa’s one true star in favour of his average workaholic club colleague. I would pass Milner’s selection off as an English foible, an obsession with graft, but Capello is Italian. Maybe, and it hurts to admit this, I am just wrong on this one. Maybe I will be eternally blinkered to Milner’s qualities and charms. Maybe it’s his funny little spiky hair that puts me off. Either way, my heart will continue to sink when I see his name on the teamsheet for club and country. God! – It comes to something when you are praying for Stuart Downing to return from injury to display to James Milner what a cultured and creative winger should look like.

After confidently predicting that Man City will win the league this year, it is with great delight and a degree of smugness that I’ve watched Mark Hughes’ men confidently open their campaign with a 100% record and zero goals conceded. That’s right all you naysayers…. Zero goals conceded! Oh, how the so called experts carped on about City’s vulnerabilities at the back, about how they will win or lose each game 4-3. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. City have looked solid, polished and more than a little like their city neighbours in the way they’ve conducted themselves on the pitch so far. Adebayor has been a revelation and is showing all those fickle Arsenal fans what a quality centre forward he really is. When on form, I would go as far as saying that he is the best centre forward in the league. He offers more power and all round attributes than Torres, while being ahead of Drogba in the skill department.

However, that’s not to say that trouble isn’t ahead for City. I think Hughes may have some fine tuning to do with his squad; and the release of Richard Dunne to Aston Villa may well haunt him in the coming months. Firstly, while Gareth Barry has been every bit as impressive as Adebayor in his opening few matches, he is not and never will be a defensive midfielder. He simply does not have the pace for it. He is a Xabi Alonso playmaker. So far, Hughes has played him deep in midfield alongside Stephen Ireland. Against superior teams, I fear this midfield may get overrun too easily unless Nigel De Jong or Vincent Kompany is drafted in alongside the former Villa man.

Indeed, talking about the mighty Claret and Blues, I’m surprised Hughes has let his captain, Dunne, leave for the midlands. To my mind, Dunne is a better centre half than either Kolo Toure or Joleon Lescott, and when you consider that Toure will be in Africa for a month or so in the New Year, this decision may assume even greater importance. Also, Hughes is still persisting with Micah Richards at right back. I won’t go into a rant here, but, suffice to say, I think Richards is a useless lump of a footballer.

Despite these fallibilities, I still feel City are well placed for a top two finish which, in reality, is a damning indictment of the state of the other main pretenders. Arsenal still have much to prove for me, despite an impressive start, while Man Utd look very poor. People always caution against writing off United and Fergie, but this year I think I will do just that. I honestly can’t see United even being in the top 3. On paper and in reality their squad is poor in comparison with their rivals, including the likes of Spurs. Liverpool appear to have gone backwards in the absence of their one creative force, Xabi Alonso… although Glen Johnson looks a world beater.

Chelsea, however, look rejuvenated with Ancelotti carrying on Hiddink’s good work from last season. For me it will turn into a 2 horse race between the Blues of London and the Blues of Manchester. Behind them, I honestly think Spurs could sneak in the top 3 or 4. I also think Everton will come good again, and I have been impressed with their summer dealings. For the first time in years, the premiership seems truly open with anyone capable of beating anyone…. I know I won’t be looking forward to Villa playing the likes of Stoke or Sunderland this year.

However, this season is all about Man City and their rags to riches story. A story that will end in silverware. Indeed, it is thanks to City that I feel proud of my pre-season prediction. What a great feeling to have been proved right just 3 weeks into a new season. There is no chance of getting egg on my face this time. No way. (*cough*)

Last season I made the inspired prediction that Spurs would crack the top 4 and qualify for the Champions League. After watching them take around 23 matches to get their first point, I realised that my ability to forsee in football was still pretty bloody ropey. Previous failures included tipping Craig Bellamy to win European Footballer of the Year while at Liverpool and Colombia to win the World Cup in ‘94.

However, undeterred, I’ve decided to give another spot of pre-season predicting a bash and this year I’ve been seduced by the outrageous wealth of Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed up at the City of Manchester stadium. This year, I have a feeling that a real power shift will take place in the Premiership and it will be the most unpredictable season English fans have seen for many a year. Hence why I’m now making a prediction. Man City will win the Premier league. Easily.

The tumult within the usual top 4 teams means there is no clear championship favourite for once. City’s neighbours, United, have been unquestionably weakened by player loss, while their summer reinforcements are less than inspiring. Most worrying for United is the lack of quality and genuine inspiration in their midfield. Anderson, Nani, Tosic and Valencia really have to step up to the mark this season, or I honestly believe they will struggle to finish in the top 3.

Chelsea have also struggled to recruit legitimate world class players this summer. Yuri Zhirkov is a cracking player, but will have to displace one of Chelsea’s best functioning partnerships – Ashley Cole or Malouda- to make the starting eleven. Overall, I fail to see much of an obvious improvement on last seasons efforts unless Ancelotti can bring in another striker or creative midfielder.

Liverpool may be the best placed of the usual suspects to grab their first title in around 78 years, but with question marks over the futures of their most important duo, Alonso and Mascherano, and with Benitez’s capacity to self-combust I feel another runners-up is their best hope.

Arsenal, meanwhile, have cured their Achilles heel of a defence that is susceptible to the high ball, by bringing in a 5’10” centre back from Belgium…. Now that’s sarcasm.

Which brings me to Man City and Mark Hughes. I honestly believe that Hughes has all the attributes to be a top class manager and his recruitment policy since taking over at Eastlands has been highly impressive. Rather than becoming the proverbial kid in the candy shop, Hughes has bought wisely. Shay Given, probably the most consistent keeper in the premier league for the last decade, was drafted in with immediate success. The acquisitions of Wayne Bridge and Gareth Barry and his flirtations with John Terry, show that Hughes is acutely aware of how important a British backbone may be for future success. Indeed, the industrious and classy midfield axis of Gareth Barry and Nigel De Jong may well be one of the most impressive in the league, with the added benefit of allowing Vincent Kompany to drop back into an ever-improving back four.

However, it is upfront where Hughes has really splashed the cash and I believe he has splashed it wisely. Tevez, Santa Cruz and Adebayor all have exceptional Premier League experience and are fine acquisitions. The critics will point to the fact that they are money-grabbing ego-maniacs who, along with Robinho, will disrupt team unity. Surprisingly, these accusations have never been levelled at Man United after purchasing Owen, Carrick, Rooney, Ronaldo and Berbatov, or at Chelsea for purchasing Ashley Cole, Lampard, Anelka or Drogba. Indeed, despite having these “ego-maniacs”, neither club has really suffered for it. So why should Man City?

To my mind, they wont suffer. Quite the contrary, they will flourish and, combined with a few further quality additions, will coast towards a maiden Premiership title. With generous odds of 25-1 with some bookies, get yourself down to William Hill and put a fiver on the Blues from Manchester. In fact, while you’re down there, double it up with a bet on Craig Bellamy to win European Player of the Year. You know it makes sense.

Over the weekend, Cristiano Ronaldo, confidently stated that Spain’s top flight, La Liga, was a better league than the English Premier League. He specifically cited the current influx of top class stars to La Liga as his evidence. (Given Ronaldo’s ego he was probably referring to himself….. and, at a push, Kaka) However, does Real Madrid’s single handed recruitment drive improve the quality of La Liga or, simply, Madrid themselves?

I have long been an advocate of the Spanish league and have always felt that the talent over there was a little more liberally sprinkled than over on our shores. I’ve also felt, somewhat understandably, that certain hidden gems in the Spanish league have long failed to court the attention of the British press when the topic of “world class players” is discussed. Players such as Fernando Redondo, Juan Carlos Valeron, Juan Roman Riquelme have played some of the most sublime football I’ve witnessed over the last decade or so. However, ask most British people if those midfielders compare to Roy Keane, Paul Scholes and Steven Gerrard and you wouldn’t get a favourable response. The fact that most British people and press don’t get to watch these players on Match of the Day every Saturday, obviously would cloud their judgment.

To my mind, leaving aside Madrid’s newest galacticos, the less heralded Spanish teams seem to have more splashes of quality than their English equivalents. Atletico have Aguero and Maxi, Villarreal have Cazorla and Senna, Valencia have Silva, Villa and Mata, while Sevilla have Luis Fabiano. All of these players would walk into any of the Sky 4 teams in England, yet these are players plying their trade at some of Spain’s second tier clubs. The likes of Aston Villa, Everton, Tottenham and Fulham can only dream of possessing players of that calibre.

Indeed, it is this spread of talent that also makes La Liga slightly less predictable and, therefore, more interesting than the Premiership. In the past few years, Spain has had numerous different qualifiers for the Champions League…. Deportivo, Celta Vigo, Real Betis, Real Sociedad, Valencia, Sevilla, Villarreal, Atletico Madrid along with Barca and Real. During the same time-frame, the English league has been dominated by the same four clubs. To my mind, this is a fine feather in La Liga’s cap.

Overall, I think, and always have, that the Spanish league has that bit more flair, talent, panache and unpredictability about it than the Premiership. However, I don’t especially feel that Madrid’s recent spending spree has improved the quality of the Spanish league or ratified my belief… in the same way that I don’t feel the recent English dominance of the Champions League proves the quality of the Premiership. The reason I feel the Spanish league is stronger lies in its strength in depth and the more equal spread of quality throughout its entrants. Until Premiership teams outside the top 4 can boast a David Villa or a Santi Cazorla, I feel we will always lag behind our Spanish counterparts in the battle for the title of “best league in the world.”

Finally, one concluding point to consider is that there is not one player, at the peak of their powers, who would transfer from Barca or Madrid to Manchester United or Chelsea. However, given the chance to go the other way, Ronaldo, Van Nistelrooy, Robben and Beckham have all proven that when it comes to the best league in the world, La Liga still reigns supreme.

Carloz Tevez

What is the difference between Carlos Tevez and Dirk Kuyt? The only answer I can see is public ridicule. It certainly isn’t talent or ability. While Liverpool’s Dutchman is widely ridiculed for being nothing more than a willing worker who lacks any sort of co-ordination or natural ability, Tevez is lauded as a world class talent who should be starting every game for United. Yet the statistics do not make such distinctions. This season, Tevez has played 42 games and scored 13 times. Kuyt has played 48 games and scored 14 times, and from a more withdrawn position. Their career stats show that Tevez scores a goal every 2.5 games. Kuyt hits the back of the net every 2.3 games. While I don’t particularly rate Kuyt, I fail to see why Tevez is held in such high acclaim by football fans. It is impossible to deny that he works hard and has moments of instinctive brilliance, but as an overall footballer I find the Argentine lacking. His first touch is often poor, his vision wayward and having been sent off for Argentina on a number of occasions, he can be something of a liability. Indeed, both his club and national managers no longer see him as first choice and this is where the disparity of Tevez the player lies. Fans love him; Managers are less keen. I think he is a good player but nothing more. He is a cracking squad player for United but is not worthy of a regular starting berth that many proclaim him to be.

Tim Cahill

The fact that I hold a dim view of Tim Cahill as a professional may cloud my judgment in this one but I am constantly shocked by the attention and hype that surrounds Everton’s Australian midfielder. I think most will agree he is a sly, dirty and whining footballer but then, equally, most will conclude that Cahill is the best player outside the Top 4. I simply do not share this view in the slightest. From watching many Everton games I am always shocked at how often the game can pass Cahill aside. I never see him make a pass, make a tackle or anything you would associate with a decent midfield player. He looks cumbersome on the ball and I have never seen Cahill take the game by the scruff of the neck either. All I ever see him do is get on the end of a cross, nod the ball into the net and then run over and punch the corner flag. Fans are often blinded by midfielders or defenders who regularly score goals, but as seen with the likes of Ian Harte and Kevin Nolan, these goals can mask vast inefficiencies in their overall game. If I was offered a pick of Everton players, I could name 7 or 8 who I would take over Cahill. As he lacks the usual make-up of an overall midfielder, Cahill attempts to offer goals as his salvation. However, I don’t believe he even scores enough overall to be granted the attention he receives from pundits.

Samir Nasri

This one may be a little harsh as he is a young player in his debut season in the premiership. Incidentally, I don’t think Nasri is a bad player, I just feel that he has been vastly overrated this season in comparison to his predecessor, Alexandr Hleb. Hleb was often criticised for not providing goals or assists to his overall game, but I used to love watching the Belarussian play his natural game. He could hold onto the ball for long periods, relieve pressure on Arsenal and draw 3 defenders towards him before releasing the ball, thus creating space for other players. Nasri, however, seems to lack this confidence to remain on the ball and appears happy to let the game drift past him, while he waits on the wing. When he is in possession, he has good technique and vision. I just wish he would demand to be involved more often and too often ive noticed that he has disappeared in games. Until he starts dominating games and dictating the tempo of Arsenal attacks, I will view him as a poor replacement for Hleb and as Arsenal’s invisible man.

Jermain Defoe

Englands most natural marksman? Rubbish, I say. Robbie Fowler was a natural finisher and he used to pass the ball into the net. Defoe, when presented with any goalscoring opportunity, is happy to put his foot through the ball and give it a good whack. This technique can certainly work, but he is definitely not a natural finisher. The other reason I feel he is overrated is because he lacks a footballing brain. Great strikers are selfish predators but they also appreciate when others are in a better position to score. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Defoe pass to an open team-mate when within 30 yards of goal. He is intent on one thing only- scoring goals. While on the surface this is admirable, I feel it is often to the detriment of his team as a whole. Like Michael Owen, whoever plays alongside Defoe inevitably finds that their own goal returns diminish. This inherent selfishness and lack of vision means Defoe will never progress further than a decent premier league striker. As for being Englands most natural marksman, I repeat… Rubbish.

Total football is back

On a sub-zero Sunday evening in Spain, runaway league leaders, Barcelona, showed they could ally battling qualities to their undoubted flair and panache. Trailing 2-1 in some terrible playing conditions, Barca had to dig deep to secure an incredible 3-2 victory. Late goals from the influential Xavi and Lionel Messi simply added more integrity to the claim that this team is the finest of its generation.

New coach, Pep Guardiola, may have an embarrassment of riches at his disposal but the way he has set about his inaugural managerial season is nothing but impressive. Comparisons with Mourinho are looking more apt by the week. However, it is not just the astonishing lead that his club has built up in the opening months of the season that has caused the world’s media to take notice. It is the style and manner of the victories that has really announced the return of a footballing super-power. Barcelona are back and that could be bad news for the English clubs vying for the Champions league.

Every aspect of their team is functioning smoothly, although it is from the midfield forward that delights the purists. Having watched many Barca games this year, I can say that each time has been a privilege and honour. In line with the great Brian Clough mantra about clouds and grass, the ball never leaves the ground in its manipulation. Spain’s lynchpin, Xavi, is the fulcrum of most of their attacks and he must rank as the finest midfielder around at the moment. He has been aided and abetted by the young Sergio Busquests, Keita and Yaya Toure this year who have added much needed power and dynamism to Barca’s play.

Ahead of these is the much heralded attacking triumvirate of Henry, Etoo and Lionel Messi. With Henry finding something approaching form, this attacking trio has been nigh-on irresistible, although Henry may find himself back on the bench with the return from injury of the irrepressible Andres Iniesta. Everyone’s favourite footballing forehead has been out injured for a number of months but his return to action this month will only strengthen the Catalan’s creative edge. Indeed, I still maintain that behind Messi, Iniesta is the most gifted footballer in the world. The reception he received during a recent brief appearance as substitute shows his importance is not lost on the Barca faithful.

However, while the Barca team is exceptional in its own right, one man pushes them into a different stratosphere and will be the reason why this team may soon be lauded as the greatest for over a decade. Lionel Messi, is quite simply, the greatest player on the planet by a country mile. No-one can touch him. His wonder goal this weekend to secure Barca’s victory against Osasuna followed up a sensational midweek display away to Atletico Madrid. (Messi scored a hat-trick and was given the honour of hearing Madrid fans sing his name and give him a standing ovation as he was substituted shortly before the end)

Barca’s critics will point to an unusually weak Spanish league this year and suggest that Barca will struggle to cope in the face of physical pressure. I do not go along with this. This Barcelona team are just too technically superior to any of their European rivals to be derailed in their quest for silverware. I believe this Barca team will win several trophies this year and will go on to be remembered for decades. If you get the chance to watch Barca sometime soon, take the opportunity- they won’t disappoint. It really is footballing heaven. The greatest team of the decade.

Fight bland and back Brand

Saturday mornings used to be so enjoyable. Turn the TV on. Switch over to Sky Sports and tune in for the best dose of hangover TV known to man. Soccer AM.

One half of Sky’s luxurious flagship Saturday schedule. The other half being the most spectacular example of visual simplicity possible. Gillette Soccer Saturday, hosted by the brilliant Jeff Stelling, featuring 4 blokes sitting around a desk talking about football, while watching games that the viewer can’t see. A ludicrous concept but one that works superbly thanks to the sheer passion and charisma of its host and guests. While never quite recreating the halcyon days of Best, Marsh and McLintock, Soccer Saturday remains nothing short of excellent. Stelling is a one-man televisual whirling dervish, never missing a beat, never failing to amuse and educate in equal measure. This week has seen Stelling named as the new presenter of Countdown. Sky must be praying to the punditry gods that Stelling’s head isn’t turned by the glittering mainstream world of consonants, vowels and conundrums. Put simply, they must cling onto their crown jewel as if their broadcasting lives depended on it. As proven by the mundane caricatures of Soccer Saturday, available on the BBC and ITV, the dearth of such charismatic presences in sport programming can render a show’s viewer appeal impotent. Stelling is the Viagra that raises (pun intended) Soccer Saturday to a higher plateau.

While the second half of this once-unbeatable double act maintains its consistency, its early morning counterpart has fallen somewhat from grace, at least in my household. Again, the underlying reason behind Soccer AMs rise and fall is the presenting skills of its hosts. The immensely watch-able Tim Lovejoy was, in a less obvious way, as much of an anchor to Soccer AM as Stelling is to Soccer Saturday. When Lovejoy left the show two years ago, Sky initially filled the gaping hole with Andy Goldstein. A relatively likeable sort, but somewhat uncomfortable to watch, Goldstein floundered under the spot-light and a painful confrontation with Ray Winstone was the final straw. Goldstein was promptly replaced by someone whose name I can’t even be bothered to google. He is the most bland, non-descript presenter Sky could have chosen and as a result I haven’t watched Soccer AM for months. As a result my Saturday mornings are filled with woe-is-me, pounding, thumping headaches which aren’t eased by Saturday kitchen or T4 or Sam and Mark. As a result I have to speak to my girlfriend on a Saturday morning.

Well, ive had enough. I want my hangover-cure TV back. I want to ignore my girlfriend again. I want my Soccer AM back. The format is still the same, Helen Chamberlain is still the same, all that is missing is a charismatic male lead. Thus, we at UKFF are starting a petition to bring Russell Brand out of the shameful satanic sluts shadow and into the bright spotlights of Saturday morning TV. Admittedly Brand and morning TV probably aren’t the most likely of bed-fellows. And the shows producers may have to think about erecting some sort of electric perimeter around the soccerettes, but one thing is sure. Brand is watchable. He exudes passion, charisma and he knows his football. His articles in the guardian are often superbly written (in his usual Dickensian style) but are also exceptionally adroit and accurate. He would have no problem fending off an irritable Winstone. Theyre both Hammers fans after all. He could help shake Chamberlain out of her recent slumber which has seen her dozing mind drift to Poker tournaments and nude photo-shoots. He could resurrect this once proud programme. He could stop my headaches. He’s one of a dying breed. Charismatic TV presenters who know a bit about footy. Don’t let this breed become like the giant panda of the television world. So I ask everyone: Fight bland and back Brand.

Championship not Champions league

Just before the season began, I wrote an article predicting Spurs would be the ones to break the “Sky 4” stranglehold at the top of the table. I thought their signings were interesting and progressive, their strength in depth impressive and thought their manager had pedigree. To be fair to me, they hadn’t sold Berbatov and Man City had yet to be taken over but still it is turning out to be a pretty rubbish prediction all in all.

Its difficult to pin-point one area where it has gone wrong for Spurs, such is the variety of reasons. At the back they are as shambolic as ever, with an over-reliance on the unreliable Ledley King a worrying factor. Dawson has gone backwards, while Bale, Zokora, Assou-Ekotto, Gunter, O’Hara and Gilberto have all failed to convince in the full back roles. In midfield, Modric is seeing out Wenger’s prophesy that he is too lightweight for the premiership, while a severe lack of midfield enforcement- a problem since the departures of Carrick and Davids- has proved their undoing in most matches this season. Indeed, I think the sale of Carrick cannot be understated. His transition from London to Manchester saw Tottenham fall down the table, while United took the Championship after a small drought. Up front, the rich options of Berbatov, Keane and Defoe have been replaced with the relative paucity of Bent, Pavylchenko and Campbell. The first two names didn’t seem too shabby until Spurs assistant manager, Gus Poyet, admitted that Bent and the Russian couldn’t play together. This obviously brings into question the role of Director of Football at Spurs, Damien Comolli, and it appears to be Comolli and not Ramos who may be the first victim of the crisis at White Hart Lane. Poor signings like Kaboul, Rocha, Boateng et al certainly havent helped the cause but there is still no hiding from the fact that the squad has enough quality to be doing so much better.

At Sevilla, Ramos put together one of the most exciting teams seen in Europe in recent years which only heightened Spurs fans’ expectations this season. That he, as a manager, has fallen short is puzzling. His tinkering and playing players out of position has only exasperated already under-performing players, while there is talk that his dietary restrictions has left his stars lethargic and hungry. However, I believe that given time, Ramos may get it right. He is still coming to terms with the Premier league and while foreign players are given time to adapt, managers are very rarely afforded that privilege.

I still don’t think Spurs will be in any danger of being relegated. I like the work-ethic of Pavylchenko and think he will prove to be a hit once Bentley and Modric are allowed to play in their correct positions to provide the ammunition for the Russian. However, the repercussions may well be less tangible. Surviving relegation may end up being a success, but with the blueprint that Spurs had been following together with the huge outlay of money and wages, means that it may get worse next season. The ambitious players in their squad may start to get disgruntled and, while London will always be a large pull, Spurs may struggle to recruit the types of players who would even take them even back to their position of the last few years. Indeed, that would be the most depressing thing for Spurs’ fans and a morbid warning for all teams attempting to break the top 4. Is that feat possible anymore in this most predictable of leagues? Spurs were on the verge but ended up being victims of their own success and peaked. The only way was down for them, the only surprising thing is how far down they have plummeted.

The most over rated player in world football

After somehow scraping a 5-1 victory over the impressive Kazakhs, England now travel to Belarus for a tricky away tie. Wednesday’s match could be the real test as to whether the Croatia result was a one-off or the new benchmark for England performances under Capello. Personally, I’m predicting a scraped 1-1 draw, with some dire football played by both sides. For the last few games, I’ve been exceedingly optimistic about England’s chances and to a certain degree, my expectations have been met. However, two factors on Saturday convinced me that what was achieved by the Croatia game, both in terms of result and morale, were all but extinguished at Wembley against Kazakhstan.

Firstly, after seeing Lampard and Barry dovetail to perfection in Zagreb, Capello decided to bring Steven Gerrard back into the fold. Anyone who read my blog last year will know I see Steven Gerrard as the most overrated footballer of his generation. I won’t go over old ground but I think he is a player who produces great moments but not a great player. Like a midfield version of Michael Owen, I don’t think Gerrard has ever formed a midfield partnership with anyone. Benitez doesn’t even trust him in the centre alongside Mascherano (possibly the best holding midfielder in the country) and we all know he can’t play alongside Lampard. Now compare this to the Chelsea man. Some said Lampard couldn’t play with Ballack. He has. Some said he couldn’t play with Deco. He has. Suddenly a pattern starts to emerge. For me, the most infuriating thing about Gerrard is his constant squandering of possession or insistence on hitting cross-field passes. While great in a counter-attacking movement, these passes disrupt the flow of the game and negate any concentrated attacking movement. If Gerrard plays on Wednesday, im afraid that England will be back to that disjointed, ineffective style of play which has dogged them for years.

The other point which may well have undone any English team-spirit was the mindless boo-ing of Ashley Cole. While he is certainly a great tit of a man, he is not a bad performer internationally and did not deserve such abuse for his terrible mistake. There was no justification for the crowd’s reaction unless Cole had played the back-pass intentionally to the Kazakh forward. Clearly this was not the case. However, apart from affecting the Chelsea left-back’s confidence, the barracking will have permeated into the rest of the team. Already playing as if frightened to make a mistake or try something different, the England team could well go back into its shell, fearful of receiving similar invectives from the “fans” on Wednesday. The gap between the fans and football players is growing ever wider with a deep mistrust between both sections. The fans think the players are overpaid prima-donnas, the players think the fans are jealous morons. The Croatia game was the perfect excuse to build up some international momentum and put these perceptions aside. Unfortunately, Saturday’s performance may be the only time in history that a 5-1 victory has dented a team’s morale. The repercussions may well be seen in Belarus on Wednesday.

Kings of the jungle

On Saturday evening I was part of a drunk, betting syndicate that decided the odds on Hull City to beat Arsenal were just too generous to ignore. £100 later and suddenly we all look like footballing Nostradamus’. Yet none of us seriously expected a return on our alcohol fuelled punt as the sincere pre-match predictions were whether Arsenal would score 5 or 6 or 7. The shock result of the season, however, was perhaps not as shocking as one might expect. Hull City did not get this freak result from no-where. A glance at the Premiership table and they are currently sitting happily in 6th, above Manchester United and having already equalled Derby’s points haul for the entire last season. Taken in isolation, these strange results occur in football sometimes; but when Hull can point to having not lost to Everton, Newcastle, Blackburn and Fulham it becomes clear that they are an ill-fit for the role of Premiership whipping boys. Further research into their manager, Phil Brown, and his coaching history suggests he was instrumental in Bolton’s emergence as a Premier league force as well as a couple of “shock” Bolton victories at Old Trafford.

Clearly, Brown knows a thing or two about how to compete in a new division as well as how to get a cracking tan from a sun-bed. The perma-tanned one has brought in ultra-experienced Premier league stars and sprinkled them liberally with a smattering of creative front-runners. The likes of George Boateng, Stelios and Marlon King will prove solid additions over the season but it is the signings of Geovanni and Daniel Cousin which may prove decisive in the long-run. Geovanni and Cousin, like all “flair” players, will have several off-days. Indeed, I thought Geovanni was poor against Arsenal. But while natural logic suggests that teams such as Hull cannot afford to play with such luxuries, Saturday’s events suggest the exact opposite. Indeed, I think this is where most newly promoted teams fail. They fall into the trap of believing hard-work and diligence is the answer- which only really succeeds in stifling any attacking impetus. In the past, Bolton had Djorkaeff and Okocha to turn to when points were needed. While the populist approach of “dogs of war” curries favour with many managers and pundits, it is those who have the foresight to realise that it is the unreliable player in a poor team that is ultimately it’s most important. (See Le Tissier, Matthew.)

Phil Brown has the vision to import creativity into his team, and while the likes of Myhill and Ashbee are extremely important to Hull’s chances this season, they can relax knowing that even if Hull concede first in a game (as they did against Arsenal) then there are players in Hull’s squad who can turn the result around. Too few managers are brave enough to put their faith in the unreliable, and I believe this was the main reason Birmingham City went down last year. They had Mauro Zarate on their bench and used him far too sporadically, believing him to flit in and out of games. Alex McCleish didn’t place his confidence in the little Argentine, Birmingham went down and Zarate is currently the top scorer in Serie A.

Thankfully, Phil Brown is not one of these managers and his Hull team should be an excellent attacking addition to the Premier league. They will get thumped on occasion (see 5-0 v Wigan) but Brown will accept these results, knowing in the long-run his side should gather enough points to stay afloat in the Premier league. That is the ultimate goal and Hull are certainly on course to succeed.