I’ve been following some of the African Nations drama on the box and t’internet over the last week & of course Dexy’s outstanding previews, but I must say I was appalled as the news reports came in on Friday night regarding the devastating machine gun attack on the Togo team bus, resulting in 3 deaths and numerous injuries. The psychological trauma of such an event will give many of the players sleepless nights in the future but the reason I’m writing this rant is the way the Togo team has been treated by the Confederation of African Football.

The CAF have handled the situation terribly disqualifying Togo from the Tournament. Ok, I’m not sure of the exact ins & outs of who said what but from what I can gather, Togo in the immediate bloody aftermath decided they needed time to mourn their dead and pulled out. The CAF gave them just over 2 days before announcing they was going to be disqualified, even though some reports suggested that the Togo team was going to stand up and play on in memory of their deceased team.

Why didn’t the CAF have a meeting with the Togo FA and discuss amicably a way in which they could still partake? Surely they could have put the Togo group games back a couple of days? It is not as if every game has been a sell-out at the ACN, in fact some matches have had less than 6000 spectators. They could have used one of the ties as a special memorial game, a chance for the players and public to mourn/celebrate the lives of the deceased, possibly even raise some cash for the families of the deceased. Oh no, they just announced instead that Togo are out, going home and in the process saved themselves a few extra man-hours in the offices and in the stadiums.

The CAF should be ashamed of themselves.

I hate that I do!

Right, it’s been a while since my last rant so here goes!

After the recent success of the 3 Lions qualifiers with 2 games to spare, I’m still going to have a grumble. Believe it not children, England are playing the Ukraine on Saturday. It is a WC qualifier and gives Fabio a chance to work with the squad without the pressure of putting points on the board. My moan is the £4.99 I’ve got to stump up to watch it: that and being told I have to watch it on a computer. Now I’d like to think I’m a dab hand at this PC & Mac  marlarky but for the more elder members of England’s supporters, the option of only watching it on a tiny screen streamed over tinternet is an outrage. Half of my mates down the Social club still watch games on old Rumbalows Black & White tv’s.

Being forced to stump up for ESPN or the old Setanta was bad enough but to have the right taken away from the majority of the public to watch it in the comfort of your own living room or local boozer is really taking the Marbles….

And another thing!

Dexy predicted before the brilliant Holland blog :

… that Fabio will want to play Brazil, And I quote”

“The Dutch are up there with Brazil & Spain as our main rivals for The World Cup. The Don knows this & will itching to see how they set up against us, like he did with Spain in Feb (don’t be surprised if we face Brazil & the Argies before next June either).”

Low and behold, we have the game against the samba stars of Brazil on Nov 14th in Qatar………..FUDGING QATAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An FA spokesman wheeled out all the tripe that it would be ideal preparation for the world cup in the 50’000 capacity Khalifa Stadium. What a load of codswallop, it’s all about the brass, the bigwigs putting money before the fans. How often has an England team played opposition in a totally irrelevant country except in tournaments? It might be good preparation for Fabio against the World Cup favourites but how many England “Regulars” do you think will suddenly come down with a few niggles before the squad sets off & how many England fans will actually make the 14 hour round trip.

What next? England V Scotland friendlies in Sydney?
You heard it here first.

I hate that I do!

Right, it’s been a while since my last rant so here goes!

Ehup, this week I call to the stand Patrick Joseph “Paddy” Kenny your honour.

After the Blades’ clash with Preston in May 2009, Paddy was found to have traces of the banned substance ephedrine present. The Ireland keeper will now be suspended for a 9-month period, backdated to July 22 when the FA’s ban took effect. He bought a cough mixture from the chemist and stupidly didn’t read the label of ingredients. It was stupid of him of course, being a sportsman, he must know the risks but look at it like this: Adrian Mutu was getting his nose extremely friendly with the coca cola for ages and what did he get for his crime……7 months. That Oldham player went on the lash and then decided to get in motor and accidently kill someone in the process. He’s playing a year later. I won’t even go into all the intentional fouls, head butts but I’m thinking Keano & Cantona here. On a scale of 1-100. I would put paddy in the bottom ten and all the others right up the other end.

You do the math!

Poor old Paddy, give the lad a break eh, he’s had it rough over the last few years. Relegation with the Blades, a row with his best mate over an affair with his other half and then having his eyebrow bitten off by said best mate. Then being reminded about it at every away game he goes to.

This ban is nonsense, if the powers that be cannot distinguish between a serial offender with class A drugs and someone who has forgot to read a label on something you can buy in Boots and then consume an amount, which would make no difference to his performance anyway. Madness, pure madness, it’s enough to turn you drugs. I just hope it cleared up his cough. I reckon he was on something when he lost all that weight though.

Anyroad, ah’ll sithee soon.

How do. A 5-minute mouth off today, a sort of two-parter. Lucky buggers

Psycho Stu Pearce steps up to the plate tonight with the young lions against the impressive host nation Sweden in the semis of the UEFA U21′s. After starting out as 3rd favourites, we have eased into the latter stages after an edgy start against Finland when goalscorer Micheal Mancienne netted 1st and then lost the plot bringing down the Fin Striker. He conceded a penalty and took an early bath, They leveled and we were under the cosh, not an ideal start. Pearce rallied his troops and we found the self-belief to overcome with a Micah Richards header putting us back in the driving seat.

Games 2. Spain, pre tournament favourites and a very promising side playing in the same possession based style of the European champions. Nay bother for the lad Pearcy, again, excellent tactical nous stopped them for playing in midfield with Milner and Johnson and Muamba all flying in with the tackles, denying them the chance to launch attacks. In the 2nd half, the Spaniards who only managed a draw in the 1st game against Germany played further up the field trying to get a decent shot or 2 in, something they failed to do in the 1st. Enter whippet Walcott who murdered them in the space they left behind. 2 goals later and we were coasting. Milner even missed a penalty. England were installed as tournament favourites soon after and ensured their route to the last four with a game in hand, the only team of the eight to do so.

Last Monday, our final game was against the Germans. Basically, we put out a B-team (Stu has already given all 23 squad members a run-out, how good is that for team building and morale!). We were in a win win situation, If we lost or drew the favourites Spain were out, we didn’t need to win so just went through the motions giving everyone a run out against a pretty weak German team in my opinion. I’ll happily face them again in the final. That’s the history of 2009 UEFA under 21s tourno so far. Pretty good eh? Well here comes part 2, The Rant!

Imagine how much we could improve if my beloved FA pulled their gold rattling digits out of their arses and caught up with Europe. This is just how far we are behind the big four when it comes to coaching.

Psycho is one of just 115 coaches who hold a UEFA Pro Licence, that’s for the whole country, not just Darlington or Eccles.

What a joke, guess how many current Euro champs Spain have in their backyard……2,140. 18.6 times as many!!!!

If we look at the other license levels, everyone seems to be miles ahead. We have 1,789 members who hold an A, B or Pro license. Spain, Italy and Germany all laugh at us with 10-fold the amount of our lot. Germany alone has 28,000 coaches alone. It is not good enough!

Any way good luck tonight boys!

I hate that I do!

Those toffs at the FA had me in a bloody head boiling rage when I read this the other day. They have sent out a warning to their Football Foundation stakeholders of a proposal to cut 20% from their £15m-a-year contribution to the grassroots sport charity.

You wanna know why, get this: They can’t afford the rent on the old Soho Square headquarters which has been sitting empty since last summer when they upped sticks and moved to the new £800 Million Pound Wembley, complete with crap transport links and the same 70′s tiling along Wembley way and £200 million pound retractable roof that doesn’t retract. Can you believe it, all that money & they are cutting out one of the most important areas of our game, grass roots because they wanted a posher gaff to eat their prawn sarnies & sip champas, what what!

The FA are having a complete overhaul of it’s expenditure as it comes to terms with losing the money from the looming collapse of Setanta, who bring in around 44m a year covering the FA Cup & England internationals.
You’d think with all the money they have, they might dip into their own pots to pay it of and avoid the bad press but oh no, we’ll just take it away from the kids, the future of the game. I hate that I do.

Toffs, more like To**ers!

I hate that I do!

Arsene’s been whinging again, spouting some sphill about the player Fabio calls our most important. The lad Walcott and how he is being overused and will he burn out by next summer. Mmm, let me think, 2 extra England games, is that really gonna push young Theo over the brink, I don’t think so Arsene, or don’t you see it like that?

The Arsenal prodigy has started just 13 times since last October and been a sub 4 times. Of those 13 games, he lasted 90 minutes on just 1 occassion, the FA cup against Chelsea. In my later teenage years, you played the full 90, every game, every season and there were no subs in those days neither.

After the two world cup qualifiers, Theo will then head to the under 21 Championships in Sweden and I he bet he is itching to get some decent playing time under his belt. I’m sure Fabio and Psycho feel the same for the whippet winger, especially with the massive loss of Danny Welbeck & Captain Steven Taylor with injuries. Fabio in particular will want to see how Theo plays at both levels. He rates Walcott very highly and it comes as no surprise that on the continent, many U21s teams play established internationals in the under 21 games. That is probably why we have won it once. Capello’s Italy have won it 5 times, not to mention 4 World Cups.

I wonder if Wenger would practice what he preached if he was in charge of The French National or U21 teams with a young Nasri or Benzema at his disposal.

I hate that I do!

When I were a lad, the only person best placed to see if the ball was over the goaline was the local mongrel. That were a long time ago but now the powers that be have finally got their act together with some changes. FIFA have laid down a new rule for the new all singing all dancing EUROPA cup. There will now be an extra 2 refs, 1 behind each goal to keep a beedy eye on goal-line incidents. It’s a step forward I suppose but I don’t see why they just employ a “Hawk Eye” device like they do at the Tennis & Rugga Bugga.

Say Everton equalized last Saturday and won on pens (They probably did, no one would have seen it if you were watching on ITV with that terrible shadow ruining the picture, go Setanta! they even had Saint & Greavsie presiding in the run-up, proper old-school pundits). Any road, imagine the Toffees sneaked it on pens, Maloudas disallowed (Hursty 66 doppelganger) goal would have been shown time and again and crucially, we may have seen Drog have another hissy fit. Bring on the camera technology I say, there’ more accurate than an old whippet and we’ll be able to shut Fritz up about Sir Geoffs 2nd in 66, it were a mile over the line!

I hate that I do!

The first thing that sprang to mind after watching the Liverpool v Arsenal game the other night was how appalling the defending was. Call that entertainment, I call it a bloody disgrace. Arsenal are not known for their defensive qualities but Liverpool should know better. They are supposed to be a side challenging for the Premier League, yet they have conceded 8 goals in 2 games. Contenders? More like chuffin benders! I’ve got more chance of playing for Doncaster at 62!

So how can a player who touched the ball 6 times score 4 goals? Chopper Harris would of brought him down before he even controlled the ball!
I’ll actually give the dumpy little Russian some credit, they were very good finishes for a midget.

I tucked into my Pukka pie trying not to be sick watching Jamie Rednecks constant brown nosing of Steven Gerrard, who had the hump all night and actually looked as if he was going to burst into tears at any moment. There he was slouching back into his chair like a teenager, didn’t his mam teach him any manners? Why oh why did Sky think it would be a good idea to get Liverpool’s team captain in the studio to analyze his teams match is beyond me. I hate that I do!

I hate that I do!

Its count down time to the semi’s this weekend at Wembley & another perfect example of the FA’s incompetence. Who the hell is in charge at the common sense depo?

On Saturday Arsenal v Chelsea: When that is all done and dusted, those southern nancys can all walk back home to their Earl Grey, Caviar toasties & Garlic bread just in time for Strictly Come Dancing, ooh la de bloody dah!

On Sunday we have Everton v Man U:  The’ll be lucky if we get back for the match of the Day highlights at 11, I’m thinking of the poor wee nippers who will be struggling to get him in t’morning for their readybrek & school.

Question:
How long would it take to re-arrange it so us Northerners could have got home for the bingo and have least had a lay-in on Sunday.

Answer:
A lot less than the 4 hours (at least) it will take around 60,000 fans to head back up the M1. It takes an hour just to get out of London, I bloody hate that I do.
Why don’t they stage the final at a nearer ground or even Cardiff on the Saturday. It least it’s half way.

FA Cup?
More like a big friggin FUKUP!

Mickey Marbles weekly rant

A ref ordered a penalty to be retaken in a Sunday league game last week when a oppo’s player put one down (The blow-off, not the ball!) when it was kicked! not a lie, I tell thee. The Chorlton Villa player (That’s Chorlton, not Trumpton!) got a yellow card for the fart which was classed as “ungentlemanly conduct”. The team, who conceded a goal on the second take, won the match 6-4 against International Manchester FC at Turn Moss just down the road from me in Stretford. Villa manager Ian Treadwell said their conduct was “normally exemplary”.

“One of our players ‘broke wind’ and only the referee heard it and he booked the player,” he said.
“The other player had the penalty saved because it was a bad penalty; it was nothing to do with any noise. They were as shocked as we were as to why.”

It has left a very bad smell & now it’s all gone off with the FA receiving a report while Team Trumpton have been hit with a fine of £97 for three dismissals and two yellow card bookings from the game. Mr Treadwell said: “We are not a dirty team and we like to play football”

What is the game coming too, Sunday morning farting is as part of the game as Sunday morning hangovers & spewing.
All this FA getting involved is a load of old codswallop, it’s just an innocent bodily function, let it lie, I’ve always said that the FA are bunch of old Farts!

I hate that I do!

Introducing Mickey Marbles, a grumpy old Northerner who once had trials for Donacaster Rovers in 1965, he didn’t make it and has been bitter ever since. He remembers the good old days when footballers were real men, they could sink 10 pints the night before a game, could take a tackle and get by on 2 bob per week.

Eh up…

Seeing as I’ll be watching Rooney, Gerrard and all the others lining up for the National Anthem tomorrow, I just want to get this of my chest. Michael Owen, the one time boy wonder and darling of the 3 Lions gave me a heart a scare last week when he came out with this nonsense. He played something stupid like 20 minutes for the Geordies before stepping that foot onto the plane bound for the Fatherland in the last World Cup, but listen to this:

“With hindsight, I should never have gone. I rushed my preparations. My leg was half as strong as it should have been.”

So, when Erikson was picking his squad, consulting with team Docs and nurses, he didn’t think “Aah Michael, he is  only 50% percent, maybe I’d better take Defoe as well, just in case, seeing as I’ve already got Rooney (unfit), Crouchy (unduly tall) & Theo (under 5s).

Oh no, Sven didn’t think we’ll need another striker and Owen was quite happy to keep quiet about his true fitness. It’s just another example of that eras player power & pampering. Sorry Michael, that was taking the Michael.

Thank Hovis we have that nice Fabio in charge now.

I bloody hate that I do!

Introducing Mickey Marbles, a grumpy old Northerner who once had trials for Donacaster Rovers in 1965, he didn’t make it and has been bitter ever since. He remembers the good old days when footballers were real men, they could sink 10 pints the night before a game, could take a tackle and get by on 2 bob per week.

Here’s his first of many rants

I was eating my chips and gravy last night when I saw this little gem in the wrapping.

Our flag of St George has been banned at the Emirates!! A Rovers fan recently had to take his flag down while watching the Arsenal.

“We hooked it over the hoardings but they took it away saying it could be seen as a racist symbol. It’s the national flag and the bans stupid”, I bloody hate that I do!

Now, I can understand if the flag had racist wording, swearing or even a pic of Big Sam on there but a flag with Rovers written on is beyond a joke. You would have thought a club like Arsenal, steeped in history with one of the most multi-ethnic squads in the league would embrace the togetherness of national emblems at its modern state of the art arena.

At Gooner spokesman said “We have decided only flags without any national emblems can be displayed”.

Maybe the real reason we didn’t see any St Georges waved by the Arse was because the latest team didn’t contain one Englishman, I’m sure Arsene didn’t see anything at all.

I tell you what, it’s not like it used to be!