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Peter Pickles

A love hate relationship

December 2, 2009

I’m a typical fickle armchair supporter.

I’m not the only one. There are hundreds and thousands of us skulking around the edges of football. We’re defined by our intermittent love for the game, and our wavering support for our chosen team. We’re the guys who only watch MOTD when our side win. We’re the people who go to the pub for the [...]

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Mark Hughes – The perfect Santa

July 22, 2009

Christmas is a time for miracles: flying reindeer, warring families reunited, a decrease in stabbings (unless you live in Croydon), and the only four weeks of the year where fat, sweaty, silver-haired paedophiles find gainful employment. [...]

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2 for the price of 1

July 17, 2009

When I heard the news that Adebayor might be going to Manchester City (and thus become tenuously connected to the Sultan of Brunei), I was angry. Not because Wenger might finally be relieving Arsenal of some deadweight, but because it took him THIS long to do it, and because he didn’t have the ingenuity to angle Bendtner into the deal. It would h [...]

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A life without Wenger

May 21, 2009

If you’ve ever witnessed a dying, crumbling marriage, it’s kind of depressing. It’s essentially two miserable, suicidal people, living in each other’s pockets (and panties), just taking each moment as it comes, like drug addicts—one day at a time, man, one day at a time—and doing nothing of any real substance. They basically hang in the [...]

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Unsung Heroes

January 27, 2009

No win situation A minute’s silence, please, for a dead profession; an imPOSSIBLE profession; a DREADFUL profession. A minute’s silence, my friends, for the only white people who can truly know what it’s like to be discriminated against based on the colour of their skin—or, in this case, the colour of their jersey: REFEREES. I’m [...]

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It’s not you, it’s me

December 1, 2008

I’m only with you for the sake of the kids

I used to love England (the team, not the country—or does that count as the same thing?). I mean, I REALLY loved them. When I was younger, England—as well as Arsenal—ruled my footballing life. I worshipped them, praised them, believed in them, wanted to be a PART of them. I had all of the author [...]

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Gallas is an undercover spy?

November 23, 2008

Proof is in the cookie

Picture this boring scenario: I’ve cooked up a basket of homemade cookies—very tasty homemade cookies, in fact—after spending years honing the recipe, tweaking and adjusting and swapping the ingredients, and now somebody’s interested in purchasing one of them. Only ONE of them, but there are already some people int [...]

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Arsenal have no personality

November 14, 2008

It’s time to ditch the fake tan!

Everything about Arsenal these days is manufactured around Wenger’s ‘beautiful football’ philosophy. The problem is that their ‘beauty’ only lies on the surface; makeup, false nails, implants, fake tan—none of this makes a woman beautiful inside, nor does it form the foundations of a great team. Arsen [...]

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