Captain Chav – The 12 minute man

by Claire Tully

Sunday, February 7th, 2010

If John Terry is doing the lotto then he might like to avoid the number 12.

Not because he might lose, but judging by the luck he’s had with that number in the past week, he’d probably end up being done for fraud.

You see last Friday, twelve minutes was all it took for the gaffer to get all disciplinarian-like with Captain Chav and strip him of his captaincy – his English one that is.

And because there is only one thing that can happen when a premiership footballer gets caught with his pants down, the proverbial worms then crawled out of the woodwork to confirm that well coincidently TWELVE minutes that is the exact length of time the skipper lasted when enjoying testicular jollies with Miss Perroncel in the first place.

So really, JT should just should just avoid 12 for the rest of his life OR somehow purchase a moral backbone with his grossly oversized wage packet.

Now despite the trash you may have been bathing your eyes in the last week, I don’t believe for one second that Fabs could have cared less about whether his former captain had mounted an entire football team of his friends ex-wives/girlfriends/what-evers.

Let’s be honest, the man comes from a country where the leader eats 18 year-old models for breakfast, literally.

The issue is that John Terry was incapable of doing his job right.

That’s right, HIS JOB.

Which in this case had nothing to do with defensive playing or keeping goals out and instead was entirely about appearing respectable in an ambassadorial role to the global media spotlight.

And in following this he would assumedly have commanded the justified respect and comradeship from his fellow team mates thus uniting the English dressing room in their quest to progress through the World Cup campaign TOGETHER.

But as fate would have it, at best he was just too dumb for the job and at worst he was just too arrogant. Either way, he failed spectacularly, red-cheeked, trousers around his ankles.

Just like taking a shit in public, what John Terry did is simply not acceptable, even if you are in fact a dog.

So regardless of what Ancelotti might think his Chelsea star is doing a great job of in his capacity at Stamford bridge, it just doesn’t cut it when it comes to representing all of England and being an honorable inspiration.

Fabs himself has been hailed a hero for adapting such a swift and ruthless policy, acting quickly to chop the offending captain but the legacy of such a decision remains to be seen.

When the team travels to South Africa, Terry will still be in tow whether or not he has patched things up with Bridge in the meantime.

But their boyish scrap is dwarfed by what should by now be raising alarm bells at the hushed confines of the FA.

The media is by far the most disruptive force a dressing room can feel.

And this weekend they booked their flights.

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  • Mike

    Good to get a female perspective on this… although I reckon it’s time to leave JT alone

  • Tef1on

    Quality Claire

  • stevie

    he actually played superb today! So did Arsenal but once again it proves they need a David Villa urgently! Ashavin IS NOT a center forward

  • CHEF

    as acaptain
    yer the leader
    u set examples

    he is not the family man
    he swore to be
    he let everyone down………

  • dexylongshot

    Everyone who follows the den knows my opinion, he got exactly what he deserved. Hopefully, the Egypt game should get most of the bad feeling out of the way early doors if Fabio picks Wayne and John (which I think he will). Nice to have you on board Claire! Good stuff!!!

  • chef

    nice to see the tulls writing on here……
    she s got beauty brains and a knowledge of footie aswell …..
    great to see women involved in the game
    and even writing about it……..
    great to see……everything she sed about j.t is spot on I AGREE WITH HER A 100%…
    these overpriced underachieving prima donnas have made me realise

    i love football….

    .i always have

    its THE modern day football players who are narking me………
    there supposed to set an example man….
    ..theres kids watchin THEM
    including THIER own……..yet they seem to be oblivious to anything but thier own fame..and fortune

    as for j.t.
    captain of england…………my arse

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