Champions League preview part dos

by Dexy Longshot

Wednesday, March 11th, 2009

Hola Senoirs, back again with the 2nd half of my Champs League run-down.


Barcelona (1) Lyon (1)

You have to feel sorry for young Lyon Goalkeeper Hugo Lloris. As he takes up his plot at kick-off he’ll be looking upfield at Henry, Messi and Eto’s spouting under his garlic breath the French word for sh*t. The Camp Nou is an intimidating arena and Puyol has an intimidating barnet. Unfortunately for Barca, he was stretchered of at the weekend and may miss the tie. Lyon might have a chance in 5-goals in comp Benzema who will surely grace our bootiful English pastures in the near future if he’s fit. They also have a chance with one of Juninho’s blistering free-kicks, (one of the best set-piece takers in the comp) but you can’t look past the Spanish giants who ooze class from every pore. I fancy them to go all the way this year despite a recent blip in the league.

Dexy’s power prediction 2-0 to the Catalans


Porto (2) v Athletico Madrid (2)

Mourinho’s 2004 Champions Porto haven’t had a look in past this stage in the last couple of seasons but go into this game with the advantage of two away goals which may be enough. With 2 strikes a fortnight back from in-form Lisandro dragging them back into it, Porto will tonight face a more attack-minded Athletico. Handsome boys Maxi & Forlan along with the Portugeezer Simao will be a handful as they go for the away goals. Did I mention Aguero with a 12 goals in 25 games with 6 assists this season? Oh I didn’t, maybe that’s because he’s an Argie. An orrible one an’ all, not like that nice boy Tevez. Maybe another a draw and pens, what’s Spanish for pukka?

Dexy’s power prediction 2-2


Roma (0) v Arsenal (1)

I hate Roma too, I hate them with a passion (being a bit of a part-time Lazio supporter) and I hate Totti the most, it’s he’s fault all these nancy boys are sporting those pathetic ripped neck scarves. That alone should be enough for Wenger to psyche up a rapidly improving Arsenal attack. Arshavin is cup-tied but with the brilliant Eduardo pushing for a start in Ade’s absence and Walcott looking to get some minutes on the pitch, the Gooners will be more readily equipped in Rome. Another goal from the Arse and it could be curtains for the Italians who will be missing De Rossi. Let’s hope so eh! Goooooalllll Lazio, I mean Gooners!

Dexy’s power prediction 1-1


Man Utd (0) v Inter (0)

Have saved the best till last, the Manc Dreamteam (at least according to Talksports Stan the Man). Italy’s Champs versus England’s Champs and current holders of the Comp Cup. Alex V Jose, the world best Managers?. Ronny V I brahimovic, the Worlds two best players??. NO, do me a favour, Ronny is very good but Messi has overtaken him this season and Ibrahimovic is one of the most over-rated players in the Competition. Anyway, Old Trafford and 0-0. Fergie will be hoping Rio is ready because if Inter draw 1st blood, the words “mountain” and “climb” will be flooding from Stan’s gate (along with car parks and walkies).  Personally, I think Man U will go through with a comfortable 1-0. They don’t let much by them these days and surely a strikeforce with Rooney, Berba & Ronny will be enough against Mourinho’s now depleted central defence. Oh did I mention Tevez, I love him!

Dexy’s power prediction 1-0


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  • stevie

    come on you Gunners, got to start with Eduardo tonight. Tight game, should come away with a tricky 1-1

  • Darren

    I’ve a got feeling United will go out tonight. Jose will play a very defensive side and hope to sneak an away goal on the break or even take it to pens. The Arsenal will win 2-0. Easy win.

  • Darren

    Barca 1 Lyon 0
    Athletico 1 Porto 1
    Roma 0 Arsenal 2
    Man United 0 Inter 0 (Milan on Pens)

  • rob pullinger

    Lyon, Athletico, Arsenal, Inter….to all go through tonights 2nd phase……

    Did you lot see the mighty reds tumble poor Madrid…….stev g awesome,best ive seen the pool all season……who has the last laugh now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


  • James Webb

    Are you a bit more confident with your predictions on tonights games Darren lol. Didnt give Liverpool much hope last night saying it would be the end of their season. Similar prediction for the United game so i’m expecting quite a few goals lol !!!

  • Darren

    the worm has turned for Arsenal, and that worm is Adeybour, it’s a blessing that he is injured.

    2-0, RVP and Nasri.

    Yes Rob, Liverpool were awesome, they made Real look very very poor indeed. What was it, 8 shots in the first 12 minutes. I would go as far as to say thats the best and the most entertained I’ve ever been watching a Liverpool. I usually fall asleep without fail!!

    Who have the Spuds got in the Mickey Europa? Oh yeah they got knocked out didn’t they. Famous last words, we’ll get beat now!

  • stevie

    get in!! outplayed, 2 shots on target but we are there!

  • dexylongshot

    Another wicked night of football. All 4 English teams keeping the St George flying.

    Collymores Talkmancsport will be over the moon with the Devils performance even though they played with 10 mens. Berbatov was missing again. Where was Tevez!

    Barcelona did as I said they would and had too much for poor Frenchies. The holy trinity duly delivered the goals i said they would although Lyon did manage to for themselves.

    Sneaky Porto got the draw (as predicted) although it was a 0-0 ensuring their passage past Athletico who must be dissapointed at not getting the away goals.

    Finally the Arse who served up one of the most dyer perfromances of the campaign from any English Team. Who gives a monkeys, they fluked through on penalties despite being 2nd best for 120 minutes.

    Roll on the quarters.

  • Darren

    I’ve got to say, we were so so poor last night. So many players looked out of their depth, Denilson gave the ball away almost every time he touched it. Eboue had a pass completion rate of 62%, that isn’t good enough at this level. RVP was woeful, worst game in a red shirt.

    But hey we won playing badly, so who cares! Hopefully the penalties will give the kids a much needed boast!

  • Dan Church

    so Darren, nice predicitons, Bert, 3 out of 4 wrong……remind me not to ask you guys when i want a bet, ill go to the missus who correctly put a bet on 2-0 to united and won £20…..we have a lot to learn.

  • tef1on

    Can English teams play each other in this next round? or are we still separated?

  • dexylongshot

    I got 7 out of 8 with regards of who will qualify for the quaters,
    Porto doing a job on Athletico let me down on the clean sweep although i still predicted a draw.

    Bert Pullinger – Terrible predictions but your reds had a blinda so i reckon you couldn’t give a toss, a bit like Wenger this morning!

    Lurch what were your’s again:
    Bayern 1 Sporting 1
Nothing in it, Bayern take lead, late Sporting leveller

    Panathanikos 0 Valencia 1
 El Grecos european record speaks for itself.

    Liverpool 1 Madrid 1 (as much as id love to see the kop faithful see their mugs go out at home)
Madrid to take first half lead, Scouse to nick goal in dying seconds, probably by Stevie “1 man team” Gerrard, cue ‘tachioed fans to announce they are the greatest team on the planet and “no guv, ive not seen yer hub cap”.

    Juventus 1 Chelsea 2

    Chelsea go one up, Juve level late, Chelsea nick 2nd on the break as Juve push for winner.


  • dexylongshot

    PS: VALENCIA??????????

  • Matt Quinn

    I predicted Eduardo- master marksman, one man saviour, dead-eyed assassin would miss his penalty. Good player but massively overhyped. He was only a squad player last year and did not have an amazing strike rate. Yet this year, he is the man to lead Arsenal back into the top 4. Go figure.

    Darren- Adebayor is 3 times the player Eduardo will ever be. He adds much more to the team (when he can be bothered).

  • Darren

    Adebayor was a one season wonder. He has a chip the size of Africa on his shoulder. Lazy Lazy Lazy over rated man. Hope we sell him. He needs 5 chances where as Eduardo needs 2.

  • Martin Tibbetts

    Disaster for English football last night and Tuesday as far as I am concerned. Whilst Man u and Liverpool waltzed through, Juve and Roma nearly did the job that was needed. As long as the boring 4 continue to dominate Europe and the league, fans all over the country will forego their local sides to support them. As the viewing figures on Sky and ITV rise, people in regional cities and parts of London stay away from their home clubs in droves. Ultimately we will be faced with clubs going to the wall because young kids in Nottingham or Blackburn are choosing to support Arsenal or Liverpool.

    I would love to know what percentage of people who follow football in this country now ‘support’ the Dull 4, I would predict over 50. I for one am hoping for a Bayern Munich v Barcelona final, and lets hope our 4 draw each other in the next round…

  • Darren

    Martin, you are such grumpy old man! The competition is open to all, its not the dull 4’s fault they qualify every year is it? Look how much Spurs and Newcastle spend on players and don’t get anywhere near.

    Would you rather they all fail or something?

  • Dan Church

    at the end of the day people want to see successful clubs playing beautiful football. as a Man Utd fan i dont think we played that brilliantly last night, but ill admit i was secretly hoping that all 4 would qualify, but if Liverpool play like they did every week then id happily watch them every week, doesnt mean id support them or stop supporting my own club. i thinks its good for our league if we have successfull clubs, it brings in more fans, more money, big name players, admitadly to the big clubs but then you get smaller “big” names coming to the lesser clubs attempting to test themselves against them. everyones a winner.

  • Matt Quinn

    Eduardo the new Solksjaer. Never good enough to start… but everyone will remark what a handy substitute and excellent finisher he is.

  • rob pullinger

    all english final i hope…….lets await the draw…….

  • Darren

    have you seen Eduardo’s record for Croatia? 13 in 23 and 8 in 12 for under 21’s

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