Champions League previews pt deux

by Dexy Longshot

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Roman’s Empire Strikes back! Chelsea (0) v Olympiacos (0)

2 weeks ago in a game far far away (in the med!) The Force’s of Roman’s Chelsea we’re again disappointing and another goalless draw was just what the doctor ordered if you we’re fed up of counting sheep to get some kip.

Then came the Carling Cup loss to the rebels at White Hart Lane and Chief Sith Avram’s job was suddenly on the line (according to what you read in the papers and on the intergalactic web).

I admit, I had a dig at Avram and padawan Ashley last week saying they will have to pull there fingers out if they were to get back on track. Well, low and behold, Ash and Av must have been reading the galaxies greatest footy blog because they went out and spanked The Irons 4-0 and that was with 10 men after Franky The Gut got his marching orders after handbags with the evil Boba Boa Morte (That really does sound like Star wars baddie!). Ashley succumbed to the “There’s only one Cheryl Tweedy!” chants from the south bank and happilly rammed it back down the cockneys throats with a goal to boot (his 1st for Chelski).

What a response from The Blues. Let’s hope they can match that sort of attitude and form at home tomorrow. Darth Drogba was rested on Saturday so should be starting, hopefully sending the Greeks packing back into hyperspace.

Olympiakos are not half as good as Chelsea despite a good record this season, they have only been beaten once in the league and once in The Champions League, a 4-2 defeat at the hands of Galacticos Real Madrid.

Unfortunately for the Greeks, they are about to feel the force of a fully psyched up & operational Stamford Bridge machine. The Blues haven’t lost at home since defeat to Barcelona over 2 years ago and have the best defence in this seasons tournament having kept a clean sheet in their last 5 games and conceding only 2 in 7.

Chelsea don’t go mad in Europe, they usually do just enough to win so i’ll be using my Jedi longshot instinct with a 1-0 win at around 6/1. The 2-0 is 5/1.

Padawan No1 Joe Boy is the chosen one in this encounter and I foresee young Cole chipping in with a goal at around 3/1. May the force be with him.

Dexy Longshot 1-0


Seville (2) V Fenerbache (3)

Seville will still feel they are in control of this game, two away goals on Turkish soil might be enough for them if they keep it tight at the back. For Fenerbache, Semih Senturks goal at the death in the last game gave them the edge but I think the Spaniards will style it out with a defensive display. The Fenerbache coach has promised Kebabs all round with extra “chilli sauce mate?” if they do it, could be some nasty morning breathe on Thursday!

Dexy Longshot 2-0, adiios amigo


Porto (0) V Schalke (1)

Kuranyi’s goal early doors was the only thing separating these two in the Fatherland last time out and Porto will hope to gain revenge in Portugal. They created plenty of chances but the away goal wouldn’t come. The Germans will fancy their chances though, a Schalke net buster will give Porto a hill to climb. The Porto coach has promised Nando’s and a pint of Port all round if come through this one, could be finger lickin good!

Dexys Longshot – 1-1 an away goal will see Ze Germans progress


Real Madrid (1) V Roma (2)

The double R’s go toe to toe at the Bernabeu and it could be a classic. In the first leg Rauls early strike was cancelled out David Pizzaro and Mancini netted later in the tie. Real were unlucky, Jockeys favourite Van Nistolroy hit the post and they had one disallowed. Roma will be looking for that all important away goal against Madrid’s still leaky defence. Madrid will be relying on the brilliance of Robinho and old ned up front. Will it be Pasta all round for Roma or Tapas El Grande for Real. Whatever happens, Ruud will stick with his oats bulging nosebag!

Dexys Longshot – 2-1. Penalties. Real nick it


Inter (0) v The Scousers (2)

I’ll be doing a piece on The Scousers chances next week against the might of Serie A leaders Inter Milan at The San Siro. Rafa was not flavour of the month a fortnight ago but the Mersea Messiah was walking on water after sneaking another last gasp European tie at Anfield. It looks like winning the Champs league will be the only thing to keep him in the job. Will he do it? Will he rotate Torres for Kuyt? Will Stevie G stay?

All the answers will be here next week in Dexys Longshot.
Chow for now as they say on the continent, wherever that is.

There is a whisper knocking about around the UKFF office that Torres wants to stay at Liverpool for the rest of his career as long as they start winning trophies.
He’s set to leave in the summer. Boom Boom!!!!!



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  • Darren

    may the farce be with you Chelski!

  • dexylongshot

    Good old Chelski, keeping the English flag flying with The Mancs and The Gooners. Only the scousers to go for world domination, anyone who says we ain’t the best league in the world is talking cobblers. Rule Brittania! Brittaina rule the waves!!!!!

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