Could you manage England?

by Mystical Mike

Sunday, December 2nd, 2007



Manager wanted
Back in the day we used to be pretty good, we once won the cup thanks to Oleg the linesman, a simple packet of sausages was the only payment required for his wrong doings.


But that was over 40 years ago, times have changed, people are now using webnet and inter-mail for example.


We have won a few games over the years but have only really played to our full potential on 3 occasions, a 4-2 win against the old enemy in the Oleg final, a 4-1 demolition of Holland, who I am led to believe had been smoking Wacky Backy before the game, & of course the 3-0 defeat of the mighty Andorra.


We have been managed by some very charismatic & colorful characters over the years, from The Wally with the Brolly who had unemployed magical ginger hair, a super stud from Sweden who bedded more women than he won games, to Mr Keegan, who was a lovely man, but cried on many occasions and wore extra large headphones, then there was our best manager in some time, Mr Hoddle, he liked to show us how to do things in training, although he finally lost his job for this. Not forgetting of course, the 2nd worst manager of all time, Graham the Turnip, who also did stand up comedy on the side lines during matches.


We are now in a position to offer one lucky person or animal the chance to manage our team, you must say yes all the time and be able to change formations for every game. We won’t be playing until August of 2008, which gives the ideal candidate plenty of time to watch 900 games and pick the same 11 players that the last 2 managers did.

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  • Paul

    Easy, yes I could!

  • Mike

    Anyone could do better than that twat did!

  • Tezza

    He hasn’t said yes yet, but hopefully he will, his ego is so big that he should be able to handle Lamps etc.. Plus he doesn’t like Terry which is a bonus, he’s a good prem player but nothing more than that.

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