Dexy’s Premiership Predictions 2009-10 – part 1

by Dexy Longshot

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Ding Ding! In the purple corner, Burnley, back in the big time. In the Blue corner, Alex McLeishs’  Birmingham, both battling it out for the wooden spoon.

This season promises to be a blinder. Any one of 10 teams could beat Derby’s dreaded record of 11 points in a Premier League season.

Here’s my bottom half predictions.

20) Burnley
The bookies have made Burnley 2500/1 to win the title, it’s not hard to see why, the relegation favorites are mere paupers compared to the billions being thrown about by the big boys. It wasn’t always like that at Turfmore. One of the leagues founder members actually won the big one in 1921 and 1960. They have a daunting start. Stoke, Man U, Everton, Chels & Liverpool, gutted! Owen Coyle has a task on his hands but if he can keep morale up, they might be able to start progressing in the autumn. They have just broke the club record for Steve Fletcher from Hibs and play-off hero Wade Elliot can knock it about. I still think Burnley will go down but I said that about Stoke 12 months ago.
Dexy’s Diamond: Chris Eagles

19) Birmingham
I did a blog on Alex McLeish 18 months ago and I knew it wouldn’t be long before big Ek’ was back in the big time, for how long though, I wouldn’t like to say. The Brummie outfit are already in the brown stuff with a subway foot long injury list including their 4 centre-backs and 2 full backs, oh and it’s Old Trafford in the opening fixture, tata!!! Sorry Jock, it’s gonna be back down for you again this term, unless by a miracle your immortal Highlander style background can help with the healing powers in the medical dept. The only title you’ll be fighting for in May is for wooden spoons with Burnley. There can be only one!
Dexy’s Diamond: Joe Hart

18) Wolves
There are certain managers I love seeing interviewed, Warnock always moaning, Strachan always scaring Geoff Shreeves, Ian Holloways little anecdotes could make him a character in Viz. Mick McCarthy is another I’ve missed. His hard as nails Yorkie attitude was no good when he struggled with Sunderland a few years ago but now after another promotion with his rampaging Wolves, I think he has learnt a lesson and that will be Howling louder than Mad Murdoch! Plenty of firepower but will struggle at the back.
Dexy’s Diamond: Kevin Doyle

17) Hull City
Old Ego Brown worked miracles and did some blinding deals to keep Hull in the Premier League. Sitting above the likes of United & Arsenal after 10 games they really did look good for a top 10 finish. With Giovanni scoring goals from every angleHull were living in dreamland. But it all went horribly wrong when Phil Browns ego exploded against Manc City, it was all down hill from there, well almost, surviving only due to the fact that there were even worse teams in the league. The same will happen this year. There are so many bad teams I feel the Tigers will stay up again, but only just.
Dexy’s Diamond: Michael Turner

16) Portsmouth
Pompey really got the raw deal as Al Fahim, a board member of the Abu Dhabi United Group which bought out Manc City took the club over in July, yet strangely enough decided to sell all the clubs best players. I really don’t know where the goals are coming from. With the likes of big gay Sol & Distin on the way out I actually don’t know who’s going to keep them out too.
Dexy’s Diamond: Nicco Kranjcar

15) Wigan
Wigan apparently have the best pies in world football, that’s about all they have got at the moment. key departures this summer haven’t put the JJB outfit in good stead and I don’t fancy them to repeat last season heroics this term. Roberto Martinez seems like a nice lad and worked wonders at Swansea but the Premier League will be different gravy. Again, only staying up due to the poor quality of the other teams.
Dexy’s Diamond: Jason Koumas

14) Bolton
If I could throw yogurt over one man it would be Gary Smugson. The bloke is a prize twit, which is exactly what his fans think of him. Again, Wanderers will be tough to beat at the Reebok with Kevin Davis kicking seven bells out of any player under the age of 18. They do have a few little gems in Fabrice Muamba and Matty Taylor. This is the year that Taylor will finally make his long over due England appearance.
Dexy’s Diamond: Matt Taylorn

13) Blackburn
Unattractive, dull and workmanlike and that’s just the Blackburn nightlife! Rovers really do lack any real genuine quality but once again will be a tough side to beat under Big Sam.  Rovers splashed out 3.5 m on Gael Givet from Marseille, yet made over 20 m with the sale of their 2 best forwards in Santa Cruz and Matt Derbyshire respectively. It’s going to be a long season for Rovers but they should do just enough.
Dexy’s Diamond: Paul Robinson

12) Stoke
James Beatie was arguably the signing of the season last term. Stoke were hard to beat at home, very hard! Just ask Mr Wenger and the French contingent. They ran home crying after big Rory and the Potters massive kicked them off the park. They may not be pretty but they play to their strengths, and with that I think they’ll have a good season.
Dexy’s Diamond: James Beatie

11) Sunderland
I actually think the Mackems will have a blinding season. Once again they’ve spent more money than every other team in the league (Manc City don’t count) but they have added some real quality. In Lorik Cana they have somehow managed to acquire Europe’s hardest midfielder. The front 3 on their day will a match for any defence.
Dexy’s Diamond: Lorik Cana

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  • Matt Quinn

    Can you say “Big Gay Sol” in this day and age? Isnt there a support gays thing going on in the Premiership at the moment?

    Agree with the predictions- except i reckon Portsmouth will go down instead of Wolves. Wolves have Sylvain Ebanks-Blake and Kevin Doyle which means they may be a goal threat.

    Also, i think Sunderland will have a good season. A midfield pairing of Cana and Cattermole is frightening. Couple of broken legs at the Stadium of Light this year.

  • Darren

    Cana is class, Arsenal missed the boat there, he’s like the new Roy Keane but much tougher, doesnt bottle out of a tackle. I can see them challenging for the top 6.

    I also agree on Pompey, where are the goals coming from? Nugget head has hardly set Fraton Park and the Prem League alite!

    It’s true what Dexy says, there are so many bad teams in the Prem that anyone of them can go down

  • James Webb

    Doesnt Olivier Kapo play for Wigan ???

  • Darren

    good call there James, I think Dexy spent most of the day in the Grasshopper in the Dam, say no more. He played for Brum in 2007

  • Stevie

    Hull City will end the season with 9 points. No one wants to go there. The manager believes his own hype and will be sacked by Christmas

  • Jay

    apart from Stephen Hunt and some bloke from Real Madrid!

  • James Webb

    Love the Grasshopper even if its a bit pricey !

  • dexylongshot

    Typical I go of to Holland for two days and my expertly written blog which I left for the work experience kid to sort out has messed up big time.

    Wolves were meant to be in 17th place and Portsmouth will be going down. Also, Sunderland will be in the top 10. Fulham will be in 11th. Heads will roll for this!!!!!

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