Dexy’s Premiership Predictions Part 1

by Dexy Longshot

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008

After a whirlwind 1st season last year at UKFF, I don’t think I faired too badly in the gypsy glass ball prediction game malarkey, well it’s in the blood innit.

Ok, the Manc’s didn’t do the treble as I thought they would but they darn well came close with 100 goal-line clearances by Pompey in the FA cup semi denying me some sheckles. Nay bother, I romped home large with Egypt in the African Nations and made El Grande Mintos with Spain at the Euros (I even had Germany as the other finalists) so you could say I’m a darn sight luckier, I mean intelligent than most of the so-called pundits in the papers and on the box. Kiss of death eh? Well I’m sure you will be waiting for me to choke on my words as I present my Premiership Predictions for season 08-09. Here they are and if you think you can do better, look out for the UKFF Premiership Predictor game tomorrow where you can win monthly prizes and get to meet the UKFF girls too!

So onward with the crystal ball stuff.



I like Phil, he is a born winner who has inherited a very good side. Last year was close & remember the Blues played half of it missing key players through injuries and African nations, added to that the departure of The Special One for Colonel Greenback, they did an excellent job pushing The Mancs all the way to the last day. If they can keep hold of Lamps and Drogba and capture Robinho from Real, I think Scolari will be Philling his boots come May in the League and on The Continent!



Rio is arguably the best centre halve in the world at the moment and the return of Red Nev will only improve the stingy Utd back line. It’s a different story in the other half at the moment though. The first 2 months will be crucial as the loss of Saha and Ronny and a half fit Rooney leaves Man U with just Tevez as the only out and out striker. I think Chelsea might steal a charge early doors and Fergie could be playing catch-up.



This is the season Liverpool need to challenge (haven’t we heard that before???). Actually for a change I believe they might be in with a shout of unsettling the above 2.Torres is in my opinion the best in Europe & Keane alongside him will guarantee bucket loads of chances. Agger will be back to shore up the goals against and Stevie can stay in the middle and control the games. I think the scousers will be challenging on all 4 fronts in the later stages



The Gooners were on fire for 3/4s of the season & Cesc was hot rod numero uno in the middle with Flamin Flamini. Why Arsene let him go is beyond me. What with losing Diarra to Pompey, I think the Professor got his sums wrong for a change. Unless he can secure Alonso or Barry, I can’t see him challenging for the top spot. The young squad lacks depth compared to the other heavyweights and I think they will come up short without new additions.



O’neill is slowly turning the midlands outfit into England B and they will be in pole if Sepps 6 +5 kicks in. The defence has been beefed up with Friedal, Shorey, Young & Cuellarare. The midfield is excellent with Reo, Barry & the under-rated Sidwell running about supplying the ammo for Ashley assist Young, Agbon and the giant Carew. If injuries are kind to The Villa boys, I believe 5th place is well within grasp.



It’s too early for me to comment on the toffees. With so many big names being bandied about, Love, Moutinho, Milito, Mbia & er.. Smith, we still have no idea who will be on the team sheet on Saturday. After the sale of Johnson, Moyes is left with Yakubu, Vaughn and Anichebe as the only true strikers and that will not be enough. Cahill continues to frustrate with injuries and Arteta is not the force of two years ago. The back is in good shape though with the excellent Howard, Lescott and Jagielka keeping the goals at bay. I think they will have another mouth-watering battle for 5th with Villa this year.



Hey big spender. El Chinnos has been a busy Spanish fly in the transfer market in the close season snapping up Modric before he even kicked a ball at the Euros. The sleight midfielder is cream and will add a new dimension to the front wheelers after the departure of Keane. The defence looks miles stronger than in recent years with Woodgate marshalling the troops. If the mercurial Bale can stay fit, Spurs will come on leaps & bounds after a terrible run last year and could clinch another UEFA Cup Campaign for Ramos.



Everyone loves Redknapp but not half as much as Jermaine (GappY) Defoe & Pete (The Key) Crouch. Saved from an eternity of splinter picking in North London & Merseyside, the seaside has called them home and under Harry’s comforting bosom, I expect them to flower into a wonderful south coast strike partnership. At the back, James & Co will rack up the clean sheets, which all equals points on the board. I think the fight for Europe between the above 4 will be just as close as the battle at the top.



Further down the table, we have the cockney boys. Pundits always cite mid table mediocrity with Curbs and the Irons recently. What the pundits fail to see is the injuries they had. I kept a close mincer on the physios league table last season and the Irons were pretty much double any other team for most of the term. If they get a bit of better luck (it cannot be worse) & with the emergence of youngsters like Sears and Tomkins, the Hammers could be in with a long-distance strike at Europe.



A fantastic early start under Sven was the surprise of 2007. Then the New Year kicked in and they dropped faster than the Titanic. Sparky has come in to steady the ship but if I was a blue, I’d have that sinking feeling. Reports over the last few days saying Frankie Shinatra is a wanted man in Thailand will have investors and suits quaking. Money issues and players going without Hughes consultation as might be the case with Ireland will make his job impossible. It would not surprise me at all if he jacked it in before a ball is even kicked. I fear for City big manc stylee if this happens.



So that’s the top half, catch the bottom half tomorrow and if you fancy a go at the UKFF Fantasy Football League , click here!

Read the instructions about squad sizes, formations, budgets & scoring first,
then set up your team, register it, get all your login details and then join this one.
League – ukfootballfinder league
Password – ukfootballfinder

Simple as that.
Also, check out our brilliant new Premiership Predictor game that goes live tomorrow, It’s prizes galore and the luckiest or should that be most intelligent of you can get to meet the UKFF girls on a photo shoot if you win at the end of the season, good luck!!

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  • Parks numero uno

    ive signed up already Dexy

    cant wait to win the league,ha ha ha!!!!

  • rob pullinger


    bring it on as they say, cant wait roll on saturday??
    come on the reds… decide which one???

  • Dan Church

    Dont Welling United play in red ???
    Good call Bert, cracking start to the season, 4-0 away winners, 2nd in the table. Gonna be a storming season for the Wings, watch this space……wallop.

  • Darren

    I’m with ya Dexy, the Chavs are very strong and like you say, Big Phil is a winner. The midfield is so strong they can even afford to let Joe Cole go, which I think he will.

    I’m not to sure on Everton finishing that high, their squad is well weak.

    Prediction number 1, Curbs will be the first manager to go, then Keegan will follow shortly after, the headphones will be back on, heart on sleeve tears in eyes, ah, bless him.

  • dexylongshot

    Wouldn’t surprise me if West Ham did get shot of Curbs if things don’t look good by New Year, look what happened to Pardew with Eggys vote of Confidence. West Hams suits are brassic what with Iceland not fairing well in the global credit crunch so they won’t be many more big signings unless they let Green or Ashton go to get some funds. I might chuck a pony on Curbs, Keegan & Megson smegson to all get the bullit before next May.

    Welling Rock, i might go down there again this year, we should adopt them as Dexys lower league team of choice, after I dump Ebbsfleet.

    What are everyones thoughts on Middlesborough??

  • Stevie

    Middlesbrough will finish 14th at best. Southgate could be an early contender for the boot if they don’t get off to a good start. Although I’m backing Alves to bang in at least 18 league goals

  • dexylongshot

    They played two thirds of the season without a decent pairing up front, Aliadiare isn’t good enough, mido is, well mido. Tuncay on the other hand took time to settle but showed good form in the last few months and then there is the excellent Alves. I think these two will make a big difference this year.

  • Dexy Longshot

    Just had a shufti at this from last August, 9 out of my top 10 where in the top half come Saturday, Only Up Pompey were down Pompey swapping places with the excellent Fulham. Look what we was saying about Middlesborough! I was bang on about Curbs but a bit wide of the mark with Chelsea. At least Liverpool got 2nd. It’s funny reading about big Phil and Chinnos at Tottenham. I’ll have a look at part 2 in a minute.

  • Darren

    spot on with my predictions, Curbs & Keegan to go first, quality!

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