Dexy’s Premiership Predictions Part 2

by Dexy Longshot

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

Bon soir!
Yesterday, I gave you the lowdown on my take of the final Premiership Positions for next May, today we’ll have a look at the bottom half, will it be another nail biter for Fulham and Bolton or will Hull and Stoke surprise the bookies with a Readingesque 1st season? I’ll also be giving you the info on the wicked new ukfootballfinder Premier Predictor game & the new UKFF Dreamteam info at the end.

Read on mon frere…



The G-man is starting to mould a good side with youth and experience up at The Riverside. Southgate’s youngsters are starting to come into their own and Wheater for me was find of the season. Downing is getting better with every game and his link up play with Alves at the back-end of the campaign leaves me in no-doubt that Alfonso is potentially a 20 goals a season player. I’ve heard good reports about Dutch winger Emnes too and think Gareth could really improve on last year and sneak into the top 10.



Things just started to slot into place in the last few months of last season with the barcodes finally getting goals galore with the trident of Owen, Viduka and Martins. This made some amends for the laughable defence which King Kev was expected to replace with a glut of tasty signings but The Messiah hasn’t had the rub of the green over the summer wedge wise. A few days before the big kick-off and all he has got is Spiderman winger Gutierrez & Curlyesque Keegan circa 80 ringer Coloccini at the back. A class act granted but he could do with another 3 similar players around him. If no Ash cash turns up on the Tyne, expect the usual 4-3 defeats and Keegan walking out before May.



Like I mentioned last season, it was only matter of time before Paul Ince made it to the big time. The 1st Black England captain, The 1st Black Premiership manager, possibly future Inter Milan Manager and a potential England manager? He worked wonders with Macclesfield & MK Dons and I saw an interview with a former player saying he totally transformed the way the clubs was run. Unfortunately for The Guvnor, his credentials will probably be judged on how he fares over this season with Rovers. Bentley is a huge loss and half the reason I believe Tottenham will play so well. Ince has got to keep hold of Santa Cruz who was bargain of the year last season to have any hope of keeping in the top half. I don’t think Robinson will fill Brad Friedal’s big yank boots either. For his first big league outing, Incey has his work cut out.



Aah Steve, he just makes me laugh every time I look at him, poor thing. But what he lacks in the Roman nose dept is made up by his drive and Brucie “good game good game” team talks. He might not be the best tactician but he certainly gets the best out players. They will be difficult to play against, all blood and guts, like Bruce was in his heyday. New signing Zaki was mustard at The African Nations & I think he could prove to be a big success once he settles in this year. I reckon the Latics will probably be hovering around 13th in May.



The Cottagers looked dead and buried last April but Rwoy managed to turn the tide by The Thames with a Hammeresque comeback. I put this down to three players. Jimmy Bullard, Danny Murphy and Brian McBride. Jim was injured for most of the season and Murphy was overlooked but when they both started to get on in the last quarter of the season, things started to work. Very similar players with intelligence and good set pieces, if they both start together this season, I think Fulham won’t have to worry about relegation this time round. McBride has gone but the strong Zamora is an ideal replacement and a partnership with quicksilver Johnson should ensure plenty of goals.



Roy Keane came into the Premiership last year after spending close to 50M. It did the trick. Sunderland beat the drop by 3 points so it was worth every penny. With another windfall in the back-burner, he has bought in more recruits & is getting to grips with the top flight. I expect the Black Cats or Ireland B to improve a place or 2 this term, possibly more depending on when the excellent Kenwyne Jones gets back into training after that knee trouble, he will be missed although Diouf may prove to be a good signing if he keeps on the right side of the no nonsense Irishman.


West Brom

The Baggies are back in the big time again and they look the best bet of the 3 promoted sides to stay up. Tony Mowbrey’s lads stormed to the Championship top spot scoring dozens of goals on the way & I think they will do enough to beat the drop, despite losing Kevin Philips to Birmingham. They have drafted in Luke Moore and I think if he gets a good run in the side, the goals will come. They concede quite a few down the other mind so will need to beat the teams around them.



I said I would my eat hat if The Trotters survived the drop last Easter, it was obviously the gee up they needed and had me reaching for the salt n vinegar. This year will be similar scenario I fear. Gary Megson has a huge uphill struggle after losing big names like Anelka and Diouf. New signing Elmander has done the business for club and country abroad and Megson has high hopes for him but I’m not so sure. Again it will not be pretty with Davies and Nolan supplying the fire and brimstone to wear teams down. I think the goals will be dry down by The Reebok and they may fall, but then again, I said that last season.



Like fellow promotees Stoke, it will be long season for league debutants Hull City. They haven’t exactly put the frighteners on anyone with their pre season form and the signing of Marlon King but they do have local legend experience in the horrific form of Dean Windass and England old boy little Nicky Barmby. Hull can actually play a bit and will be a threat at set pieces but I can’t see them surviving the drop. Tigers fans will be behind them all the way though.



I think Tony Pulis Stoke will be the fall guys this season doing their utmost best to avoid Derby’s unenviable Premiership record last time out. The Potters will have to adapt their Ram like aggressive direct style which may do the job in the in the Championship war zone but is frowned upon by refs & managers in England’s Golden tier. Kitson will supply a few goals if he can stay fit but I fear they will be viewed as cannon fodder by the big hitters.



So that’s the bottom half of the League, let’s see how it will pan out. If you think you know your stuff feel free to vent your spline here and make sure you get involved in the wicked new ukfootballfinder Premier Predictor game, click here

It’s got prizes galore and you don’t have to do it for the season, there are monthly prizes too, so if Defoe ball’s it up for you in the first week, you can just get back in there for the next Saturday, it really is the business and so simple to play! You can even set up leagues against your mates so there will be no aggro when it comes to bragging rights down the boozer, a simple, “Look at the League my good friend, discussion over!”. Pukka or what?

Also, if you have a spare few minutes, sign up for the UKFF Fantasy Football League , click here!
Read the instructions about squad sizes, formations, budgets & scoring first,
then set up your team, register it, get all your login details and then join this one.
League – ukfootballfinder league
Password – ukfootballfinder

Simple as that.
Good Luck, you’ll need it it with me knocking about!!!!

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  • Stevie

    see you later Bolton, Hull and one from West Brom Boro & Fulham.

  • Kev22

    I’m afraid to say buy Hull are going to do a Derby, I can’t see them finish anywhere but the bottom 3, I have feeling Stoke may be ok, I don’t know why it’s just a hunch.

    My lot will be in the bottom and not the top half, Curbs will be gone but October

  • dexylongshot

    I think Stoke will deffo be bottom under Hull and Bolton, Hull simply have better players than Stoke, not brilliant but better, Geovanni will be a tricky customer, he impressed when on show at city, it was just a shame for him that Elano overshadowed everything he did. The Brazilian will be a big threat at free kicks and with the strength of King and Windass bulldozing down defenders, i think they will get a few goals. They will let in a few as well though!

  • Darren

    The more I think about the more I say see Bolton finishing bottom, Smegson is a poor mans Curbs, and that is saying something!! I fully expect to see Big Sam at West Ham and Curbs at Bolton, there you go, the first managerial prediction of the season!!

  • dexylongshot

    Big Sam at West Ham, I don’t like the sound of that, Bilic defineately but it looks like he fancies another go at putting England in the Eartha (although I think he’ll be back at The Boleyn one day. Curbs will ok anyway, As I said 10th with the worst injuries record seen for many years in the top flight, at least he only has half a dozen at the mo. An easy start for the Hammers for the first month as well should ensure he fights of the media flak. Who knows? Deano and Carlton Cruyff could be starting up front for England next week!!!!

    Bolton look in bad shape and they will have a real fight on their hands come April, it wouldn’t come as a major surprise if Nolan does the offs at the end of the season.

  • Darren

    ha ha, the same old Spuds, shouldn’t they be on this half of the Predictions?

  • Dexy Longshot

    Love it, SToke will deffo go down, whoops! AT least Carlton Cruyff has taken heed of my advice and worked his socks of to get into Capellos plans for the summer. I can’t believe the amount of Managerial sackings this year. Keane, Curbs, Incy (boooo), Keegan??

  • Tef1on

    You missed Ramos and Adams!

  • Darren

    Love it, Bolton to finish bottom! Great prediction!

  • Dexy Longshot

    Zaki prediction hit the spot bf he hit rock bottom in Brucies eyes.

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