Dexy’s World Cup Group G Preview

by Mystical Mike

Thursday, June 10th, 2010
 

Brazil
Dunga has made joint faves less The Boys from Brazil and more The Bore-offs from Brazil. Out goes the swash-buckling Cafu, Carlos & Ronaldinho and in comes the strength of Maicon, Melo & Fabiano. The Samba has become steel and it will be hard to break down. Saying that, they only beat our B-team by one goal and when I watched them struggle against the Irish at The Emirates, I don’t think they are invincible and a Group of Death Draw means they will be working hard from the start hopefully knackering them so we can take advantage. See you in the semi Dunga.

Dexys Diamond
So many to pick from with an obvious nod to Fabiano who should score plenty. Kaka is many pundits’ diamonds but I think he has been maka kaka this season and think the real diamond could be Nilmar on the left wing if he gets a start.

Ivory Coast
Topped the African league and not hard to see why when you look down the teamsheet. Drog, Zokara, the brothers Toure, Kone, Eboue, Kalou & Meite. The Elephants trampled through the qualifiers and could upset Brazil and Portugal if they put their collective minds to it. On paper they look a top 8 side but they will miss Drog at 100%. Also, they may not have the mental attitude to go all the way as seen in the last few African Cup Of Nations tournos, they always promise much but implode when it comes to the big games and they don’t come much bigger than Brazil.

Dexys Diamond
Jervinho got a universal sound of “who?” when I got my old man to pick him in my fantasy footy auction last night. Drog and his elbow have been taking all the headlines but he will be half the man he usually is with opposition bruisers trying to mash up the Chelsea front man. Enter Jervinho, he may have a moody spam but I fancy him to supply plenty of ammo and a few goals if he gets past the strong defence of Brazil and Portugal.

North Korea
What can be said of North Korea, they were a big hit in 66 but now, no one ever sees in & out of the country so basically, I haven’t got a Danny about them. When not starring in team America films, pint-sized heel stacked tyrant President Kim Jong Il tells everyone his country is the world leader in everything. The Chollima are in my opinion the whipping boys of the tournament although Kim Jong will probably edit all the highlights and tell his country they were undefeated on the way to the trophy beating Brazil 10-0, then he’ll press a red button watch the fireworks go of.

Dexys Diamond
Mmm, struggling here so a quick browse on the net has brought up the mighty FC Rostov’s Hong Yong-Jo. He is apparently a demon up front. I’m sure Lucio and Juan are really bricking it.

Portugal
Like the Argies, The Portuguese team won’t be on my Christmas card list this year. The sooner they get knocked out the better, preferably by a Rooney hatrick and a wink back at Ronny as our great scouse hope picks up the match ball. They may have the world’s 3rd best player, but they don’t have a great team anymore. I think Ronny will come in for an hiding from Ivory Coasts hard-nuts and couple of Brazils hatchet-men. Nani who has been in good form of late is now missing so Simao and will be providing back-up but I don’t think they will repeat the semi of 2006.

Dexys Diamond
Ronaldo will be a real threat at set-pieces at this tournament with this co-op super-saver air lite ball. His record isn’t actually that great on the International stage but expect ridiculous 40-yard efforts and 1 in 3 hitting the target (2 in 3 hitting some tart with a Vuvuzela in her moosh)

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