England ready to win world cup

by Mystical Mike

Sunday, September 7th, 2008

Sven McClarens England impress

England came through their toughest test with a superb 2-0 victory against the gardeners, plumbers, estate agents of Andorra. With Germany proving there are no easy games in International football with a very unconvincing 6-0 win in Liechtenstein this was a warning to the rest of the world that England are back!

Captain Pee Wee showed no evidence of lack of confidence suggested in the press with a mighty performance and one that will have Croatia quaking in their flip flops.

Sven McClaren was happy with the victory, and in particular England’s 3 shots on target. His positive mimble mumbes has had an obvious positive effect on his team.

I’ve seen the light, I’ve seen the future, Sven McClaren is the man to lead England to victory in the World Cup 2010, mark my words!


Player ratings


David James 9

Kept England in the game with a procession of excellent throws and long kicks.


Ashley Cole 9

Bombed forward at every opportunity, his pace was a constant threat to Andorra’s classy postman at right back.


Captain Pee Wee 10

Pee Wee has often been accused of lacking any real leadership but answered his critics with a world class performance. His distribution was like watching Zindane in his pomp, found a player with every pass he launched, his passing was so crisp he even managed to find an army of ants in the first half.


Joleon Lescott 9

A tower of strength, dealt with everything the powerful gardener throw at him.


Glenn Johnson 9

Cooked a lovely pasty after the game.


Theo Walcott 9

Lacked any real genuine pace but did get forward, his crossing and corners were a constant weapon.


frank Lampard 10

Another dominant display from England’s play maker. Looked dangerous going forward and even had a shot in the first half.


Gareth Barry 386

He once scored 386 on Donkey Kong 6


Stuart Downing 9

Another superb performance from the worlds best left winger. Bombed forward at every opportunity, his pace was a constant threat to Andorra’s classy postman at right back.


Wayne Rooney 9

Kept up his sensational record for England with a brilliant display at center back.


Jamine Dafoe 9

Intelligent and mature performance, linked up well with the Andorra defenders. His best performance since Platoon.




Michael Owen

A big man for a big occasion, if you need a goal Owen will deliver.


Ashley Young

Blistering pace with an end product, scores goals too.


Peter Crouch

England’s top scorer over the past few years. Knows where the goal is.



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  • Moz

    I agree, we were brilliant, the croats must be bricking it!!

    Lampard was world class, he proves every game that it’s the fact he plays with world class players that make him look good FACT

    William Dafoe is not International class and will never be, he’s a headless chicken who only plays for himself. FACT

    Rooney needs to dropped, he hasn’t played well in an England shirt since 2004 FACT

  • tef1on

    More seriously… it was a disgrace! Seriously! How can anyone take anything positive out of that game? 2-0 to us… a win is a win??? Cocko off is it! we should have buried them! the world is laughing at us!

  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    the only positives were Theo & Glenn Johnson, what are they odds both will be dropped?

    I’m very worried for the future of the England team. We have to start playing the kids, they are raw with pace and enthusiasm, all the ingredients we are so obviously missing.

    John Terry (Pee Wee) England captain, do me a favour, he’s like a mouse when he wears the England shirt, he looks terrified and looks like he is going to burst into tears at any time.

    My main concern is where are the goals coming from? 3 shots on target, that’s an absolute disgrace. My Sunday league side could give Andorra a decent game.

    Crouch and Owen need to be the squad, they are the best of a very very bad bunch.

    I would like to see Matt Derbyshire go on loan to a Premnier League side, he needs to be playing week in week out, he has the potential to be the next Owen.

    And before the papers and the FA start making excuses, the German league has the exact same figures 47% home grown, 53% foreigners in their league as us, and they seem to make every tournament, every semi final!!!

  • Matt Quinn

    Didnt see most of it… but Glen Johnson must start in front of Wes Brown. At least Capello experimented a bit (strange he didnt in earlier friendlies tho!)
    I dont blame him for trying Downing but it didnt work. Defoe isnt good enough at this level. I hope Capello can see this and (from this squad) start with Heskey and Rooney on weds.
    At least we had a bit of pace in the team too…. i know everyone is pessimistic but i reckon we will beat Croatia with Rooney having an absolute stormer of a game.

  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    I actually think we should play the Soccer Aid team on Wednesday, they are pretty decent, Craig David would be all over Modrics oink.

    The reason why we are so pessimistic is we’ve heard it all before, all the hype, bigging themselves up only to let us downl every time. The pre match interviews with Pee Wee saying we won’t let you down, followed by every other football clichés going.

    At least Sven gave us false hope.. We don’t even have that any more!

  • tef1on

    Name one Striker to play for England that hits the Net on a regular basis since Shearer left?

    The only player in my opinion is Crouch… a guy who cant even get into the Squad… Postman Pat picked Emile Heskey…. EMILE FOOKIN DONKEY CRAP FAT OLD OVERWEIGHT SLOW DIRE UGLY HESKEY… over Crouch?!?!?!?! I’m sorry but… Capello…. Your a dick head!

  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    couldn’t agree more, they all said Crouch only scores against shite teams until he scored the equalizer against Croatia. His record for England is nothing short of sensational, 14 in 28, compare that to Heskey 5 in 47, says it all!

    He also picks Walcott as one of the forwards yet plays him on the wing, surely he should of left out Bullard or Jenas and put either Crouch or Owen in.

    Anyway, on a positive note, who watched Andy Murray beat Nedal? Was the best I’ve ever seen an English tennis player play, he literally blew Nadal to pieces!

  • Martin Tibbetts

    Andy Murray is Scottish, and fiercely so….

  • Martyn

    Guys, I’m probably opening myself up here, what with the strong Woolwich contingent on here but If you actually looked at Walcott’s game, he only had 10 decent minutes. Granted those decent minutes were very good but he can’t actually cross the ball. In the second half his firsty touch was atrocious. If you actually go back and watch the game again (I’m sure you wouldn’t put yourself through that again tho) and only watched him, you would see what I mean.
    Lampard should now be dropped from the squad. How many times does he need to play crap for this to happen. Backham is a better bet in central midfield tnan him to be honest. If we are going too play 4 in midfield (we cant play 5 as we don’t possess a good striker that can play on his own like Drogba, Adebayour or Berbatov) Lampard should not be there.
    Glen Johnson and Joe Cole were the only positives for me.

  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    didn’t hear anyone complaining when team GB was winning all those gold medals, have of the cyclists were Scottish!!

    Anyone who watches tennis will appreciate what an amazing performance Murray put on over the weekend, Nadal has re-written the rules of tennis over the last few years, the game has been taken to a new level.

    Murray can now finally prove he is ready to join the elite. Ok, it’s Nadals weakest surface, he is yet to win the US Open but Murray completely blew him away, it was awesome tennis from the Scott, he may not have many English fans but at the moment he is currently the most exciting player in the game. He has the best back hand and is serving like a champion.

  • Stevie

    Walcott did more in those 10 minutes then the whole of the England team in the last qualifying campaign, lets have of that please!!!!

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