Give away crazy in Dexy’s Den

by Mystical Mike

Thursday, October 1st, 2009

With the grassroots season just about to kick off we thought it’s the perfect time to announce our brand new competition.

Our friends from soccerpro are giving away a beautiful pair of size 9 Adidas F30 i TRX FG boots and a lovely Nike Pro Max Long Sleeve Loose training top. Total value of well over £150.

If you would like to win these absolutely brilliant prizes then all you have to do is tell us why you think you should win. Please don’t start your reply with ‘I think I should win’, be creative, think outside the box, impress us with your sharp wit and k-know how. A prize this good deserves a quality answer!

The winner will be expected to write a review of the boots and we’ll post it here for everyone to see.

As listed on Loquax Competitions

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  • http://UKFootballFindersofcourse Battersea GSA

    So I notice there is another fantastic prize
    On offer and the right size
    Can I win I just dont know
    Everyone would want it but lets give it a go
    Exciting answers dont start with the same
    Reason as 2,000 others it just seems lame

    Perhaps because the prizes are promoted by Dexy you
    Realise your answers must be pukka and sexy
    Or will he notice the code from this entry ?

  • jackie emu

    ‘Boxes’ by Jackie Emu
    I think outside and shoot inside the box…boxes are a lovely thing on the whole. Cardboard box…wooden box…grocery box…box of matches…ahhh boxes.
    Even people box, in a ring as a sport known to us all as Boxing…boxer dog…rude box…box burger…box of tricks…boxing day…boxing hares…box your lugs…selection box…post box…I’m all boxed out.

    This wasn’t about boxes was it…

    Can I have the box containing boots please..

  • Daveyboy

    Size 9? thats no good to me plus Im not a real player Im only a goalkeeper.

    Looks like I’ll have to stick to my 20 quid boots from SportsDirect this season 🙁

    Thay are nice boots though.

    Do a comp with some ‘keepers gloves as the prize please Dexy.

    You know your the man!!!!

  • Darren

    Partick Stewart
    Patrick Swayze
    Patrick Kenny
    Patrick Kelly
    Patrick Moore
    Patrick football boots

  • Dan Church

    if they were size 12 boots then i might consider entering……can i just have the £100 ???

  • Patrick

    I shouldn’t win the boots cos of my entry, I should win ’em as a sympathy vote. I’m currently sporting some shredded old asics bollox which have all the accuracy and properties of a toblerone box. I’m actually a legendary park footballer and with these new boots my Sunday League team would surely race up the table afer a woeful start to the season as I bang in hattrick after hattrick. Plus my name rhymes with hattrick so there could be some sort or terrace chant coined to go with my influx of goals. And I’d refer to the boots and the way I got them at every possible opportunity thereby adding legions of new fans to the Den and UK Football Finder.

    As for the training top, I’ve had a few too many curries lately so I’ve been hitting the gym. There’s a well fit girl working there but my current clobber is crap so I need some kick ass training gear that’ll make me look the business when I work out. And if that ain’t enough I’ll find out what team she likes and see if I can get her to be a UK Football Finder girl. Bribery surely is the best option right Dexy?

  • rob pullinger

    too small for me….am size ten, dam!!!!

  • Tom

    These boots are bootifull!
    Adrian bootu would be proud of them
    little boots sings about them
    and booty mcclain writes about them

    ah, these boots are boots

  • dale

    ‘I think I should win’…because although i love football i am completely pantttts. I now have this illusion, that if i can only have this pair of boots, they will turn me into a young Dennis Erwin, with the skills of Warren Barton!

    If i win, i promise i will score at least one goal, then tell you guys what a screamer it was……..unbelievable Jeff!

  • raggy

    ‘Who on earth do these boots belong to?’ by Raggy

    I’d wear them on a different planet… moon boots
    I’d wear them at a risque party… kinky boots
    I’d wear them in a farmers field… welly boots
    I’d wear them as a small person… baby boots
    I’d wear them on my head… clown boots
    I’d wear them in a cinema… quiet boots
    I’d wear them shopping… hairy boots
    I’d wear them in Aberdeen… frog boots
    I’d wear them in disguise…. fake boots
    I’d wear them in a sausage factory… smelly boots
    I’d wear them over there… vague boots
    I’d wear them on my feet…obvious boots
    I’d wear them to eat burger juice…food boots
    I’d wear them to take a goose to market…mass bird boots
    I’d wear them for inspiration…run out of ideas boots
    I’d wear them to my sunday league cup final… the above competition prize boots!

  • Alberto

    Your boots are cursed im the only football player with the required skills to handle those boots so please just post them to me,you wish i wear your boots so you should be paying me for wearing your boots.i was joking i want them boots now.. They are mine precioussss minee!!!!!

  • Daveyboy

    Auction them off to try and help poor old Pompey pay the wage bill!!!!!!!

  • Small Feet, Big Ego

    Size 9 boots are perfect for me. It’s my size.

    As much as I’ve tried to lie and protest over the years that I’m actually six-foot-six with unusually large, size 18 feet (to match a certain unusually protuberant appendage of mine) the truth is that I’m actually not that tall, and my feet aren’t that big. Nor is my appendage able to put up much fight with anything longer than a broken pencil. It would barely put a Snickers bar to shame. It DOES taste more chocolatey though–and the nuts are more potent. Or so I’ve been told.

    For this reason (if I even offered one), and no other (unless I can think of some more, which I can’t right now), I should win these boots. Not I THINK. I SHOULD. That way, whilst I’m wallowing in self-pity, willing my feet to grow an extra couple inches into double figures–and thus also add much-needed length to my Snickers bar–I’ll have a minor victory to enjoy. A victory to distract me from my self-loathing.

    Plus, my new line to women could be: “I have small feet… but they’re dressed stylishly.” Quickly followed by: “Now how about I get you drunk enough to forget everything I just said?”

  • Hollow Victory

    If you’re not enough without the boots, you’ll never be enough with them. The boots do not the player maketh, rather you make them work for you… but it doesnt hurt to have good head start.

    Rather than focus on why I deserve them, I’ll sign off saying none of these entries are worthy and I should get them by default. I will actually wear them and put them to work, rather than put them on a mantle and stare lovingly at them. Will they make me a better player? I doubt it, but at least i’ll look good trying.

  • http://n/a Seanb O’Doherty

    I told a few of my footy celeb mates and they came back with these corkers…

    Lets beeee ‘avvvvvvvvvvvin boots!!!

    I would love it, really love it, if I won them boots.

    You cannae win anythin’ with kids, but ya can wi them boots.

    I never meant to injure alfe inge haaland, but if them F30s where on the line??

  • Marco

    I know i should win these boots as i will test them through many different activities, firstly wearing them on my feet! yes i know it sounds crazy but thats the first thing i will do!….

    Second i am going to take a football but not just any football a size 5 football, as these i can do many kick ups with and im going to go to my local field and not do kick ups, why would i want to thats not part of the bloody game is it!!??

    so don’t get startled but actually will attempt to kick the ball into a goal, which will be some metal posts a cross bar and a net, you all should see the pictures they are beautiful!!!

    and to put it to you i am going to video and take pictures of my experience so you all can get a good view of the fun times me and my new boots will have together ,

    My review will tell you about comfort first, then how the boots control the ball and how hard they can kick as i obviously wont be doing much as im not on review – i will c how far i can throw them, or kick them liek old fergie does , he knows a good shoe . i might end up showing you what they look like after a week of use and maybe give a mark out of 10

    may i try these boots firstly to help me pitch a tent im currently skint n lost my hammer

  • Mark McAllister

    I’ve set myself one clear goal for the next couple of years – I’m currently an overweight Sunday League footballer with a raw talent that sets me apart from the majority, but without the fitness or sharpness to go with it, so my teammates mockingly refer to me as “Burgertov”. So rather than sitting around when I’m 40, saying “Well I could’ve made it lolz” (I’m assuming people will still be saying “lol” in 19 years’ time) to my kids, I’m going to devote my free time to getting superhumanly fit, perfecting my touch and becoming a footballing monster in the shape of Fletcher, Gattuso, Keane and Heskey. Well, maybe not Heskey.

    Whether I end up at Canvey Island or Boca Juniors, I’ll be content in the knowledge that I’ve given everything my body can possibly offer for this cause, and more. I’ve overcome all sorts of injuries along the way from Osgood-Schlatter disease in both knees, to a grade 3 quad tear which left me on crutches for several weeks, and now I’m ready to do something nobody ever expected from me.

    I struggle to maintain an interest in anything else in life other than football so it’s about time I started building a career in the game I love, live and breath, especially as I think my potential as a coach will stretch even further than as a player once my playing days are over. I spend days on end studying coaching philosophies and systems from the Catenaccio of Austria and Italy, to the fluid 4-6-0 system pioneered by Roma and perfected by Sir Alex Ferguson in the 2007/08 season.

    The boots don’t make the player, this much is true, but what they can do is offer that extra little 1% – that tiny little bit of spark or personality which can make all the difference on a football pitch. Imagine the difference you could make to one honest young footballer’s potential career by providing him with that desperately needed extra 1%. Hey, maybe I’ll record my experiences in a book some day and you can think, “awesome, we helped give this guy a platform for his entire life and look where he is now.” Alternatively I can slug away in my ancient, loose-fitting size 10 boots with my big toe poking out ever so slightly and studs with a tendency to disappear off the face of the planet.

    And as you can see, I like to mindlessly babble on for hours so I’d be more than happy to review the boots to, and what an epic review it would be.

  • Zac Britton

    I think with the F-30i boots, i’d be scoring loads of goals with them on my feet and running past players like Messi, striking shots like Gerrard and being creative by wearing them.

    As Lionel Messi would say: Try to surprise yourself and your opponents with new things on the pitch.

  • teddy bedward

    At present I wear ham for shoes…

    I guess it’s only fair that a boring man as myself should have these boots for eyes.

  • Tony McNab

    To be honest, I’m “kind of” (read on) entering for a fellow team mate. I don’t know where he picked his current boots up from, but they are so bad that i actually feel sorry for him with the abuse he gets in the changing rooms. Every match he pulls them on, and every match he gets put down and insulted. He knows it’s only banter, but while he has those boots there really is nothing he can do about it.

    Of course, I’m not that mental that I would pass brand new boots on to him, but reciving a pair of lovely new boots would mean I could give him my current ones, and then maybe the boys would lay off him for a bit and find someone else to pick on for a while.

    Of course, if I don’t win, then if anyone has any insults I could use (we usually go for the “my grandpa has better boots than that” kind of theme) then i would be most greatful!

  • Isac. Mohammed

    dexy you know you look sexy
    with the boot i shall shoot and win the loot
    and giz us the nike top, its easier than buying from a shop
    now im running out of words this rythme you will think is turds

  • m farrey

    my defending will improve with these new boots,I’ll bend it like Beckham

  • miss steve harding

    So much opposition for this competition there is no time to delay in being a crowd pleaser so pick me as im the ultimate footy geezer!

  • susan langton

    Well….I came over to this country four years ago a massive American Football Fan..Since I have been here..I have embraced your sport of Footie and I have become as obsessed as everyone else….Rock on! I think I should win because I have proved anyone can become a footie fan..Even an American Football Fan!

  • http://prizefinder Daniel

    these would be great for me to dribble in, nothing to do with football, im always like this after 15 pints,

  • Alasdair

    -Destinys EXceptional Young Son Desires Extraordinary New BOOTS

  • Iain

    These boots are made for football
    And thats just what they’ll do
    Ill get these boots and wear them good and
    Walk all over you…..

    These boots are made for players
    these boots aint made for you
    these boots deserve there owner
    2 be me and definaetly not YOU … 😀

  • http://loquax Neil jon White

    Did you know – *All *Day *I *Dream *About *Soccer (There’s an ADIDAS reference in there somewhere!)

    I’d shoot. I’d pass – Always gripped to the grass. I’d glide through the air, without a care, ducking and weaving. Best way of deceiving!

    If I won this prize. I’d give ’em the eyes …. put it in the net, I’d be all set! If only you’d let ….

  • Roger

    Faster? Dryer? Fitter? Cooler? Comfortable (yo! Just the right size) watch me go!

  • Dries Van de Wetering

    I used to be one of the players
    until i added all these layers
    of pies and beers
    and rounds of cheers
    that turned into a belly!!

    But now again I’m training
    to stop my kit from straining
    with this new top and pair of boots
    I can return to my roots
    and stop watching it on the telly!!

  • Emma

    my hubby tries not to be so chubby
    so he plays footy but is a little like putty.
    Maybe some amazing boots will give him a boost
    and he’ll finally score a beauty!

  • Ann

    My hubby would adore them
    and might even score in them!
    but best of all they would shut him up
    at least until man u score again!

  • raggy

    A big thank you to Dexy’s Den and for the prizes I’ve won.
    I’ve worn the Nike Pro Max training top and can report it feels great, ideal for running or football training. Here’s my more in depth report about the Adidas F30 iTRX FG boots.

    Now I’m not going to lie to you I’m not a great footballer but having this new pair of boots certainly made me feel a much better player so much so that I’ll give you my review in the following match report…these events actually happened in south London November 4th 2009

    It was just a run of the mill second division game in the lower leagues…and I’m an unspectacular midfielder a sort of Matt Holland with less pass and skill and not even that great a tackler either! Anyway feeling pretty full of myself with my new boots I ran onto the pitch for the warm up with an enhanced feeling of confidence and exuberance…they felt good and the striking of the ball felt very natural I wish I’d bought these months ago…I’m very much stuck in my ways when it comes to updating my football gear so this was an ideal time to win a pair of boots. Anyway back to the game which kicked off and my team were immediately on the back foot, now I’m quite fit so getting up and down the pitch wasn’t the problem but I seemed even quicker to the ball wearing my new adidas F30’s they helped me get from box to box and I was able to get in some tackles and stem the attacks and in turn set my team on the front foot…I was having one of those games…we went in at half time at 0-0 and had finished the half the stronger side.

    The second half followed a similar pattern but we went ahead against the run of play our left winger cutting inside the full back and unleashing a shot their keeper did well to get finger tips to. We then regressed and sat back far too much on our precarious 1-0 lead. The opposition sensing their chance began peppering our goal and but for interventions from myself and both centre backs and some exceptional goal-keeping we would have been level or deservedly behind…
    Despite the onslaught I’m enjoying the game so much, getting in crunching tackles and spraying balls out to the front two to give the defence a bit of respite. On a rare counter attack I even whistled a shot just wide scraping the already flaking paint off the post. 2-0 would have flattered us. We held out for the 1-0 a hard fought victory. A great defensive display by the whole team, a sweet victory. I was named man of the match for the first time this season…I dedicated my award (A cheap bottle of fizzy wine) to Dexy’s Den and the Adidas boots from It was still my turn to wash the kit though! No chance of getting too carried away then!

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