Liverfool FC

by Charlie Coffey

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

Back when I were but knee-high t’ grasshopper I remember reading about a Rosenborg haters club. The then Norwegian champions were in the heady midst of a run of 13 consecutive titles at the time, which pissed someone off enough to set up a crack squad of devoted hate mongers. This troupe of assorted Nordic loons, dressed in specially-made kit which I seem to recall as pink, followed Rosenborg wherever they played and cheered for the opposing team.

Even with the wonders of this new ‘internet’ thing I couldn’t find any record of them anywhere. Did I dream of Norwegian football even at this tender age?

What I did find though was a comment on a Norwegian football message board that says ‘I hope Glimt will go down as I hate their big toothbrush they carry with them.’ Now, with the lack of light at this time of year, these bearded conker sniffers can often lose the plot now and again, so I took it upon myself to check this unlikely yarn out for myself, Scooby Doo style.

Scroll halfway down the following link and hark! The Glimt toothbrush in all it’s glory! So both seem to be true. The mythical brush in question does exist, and Norwegians are officially off their head. Great jacket though.

Apologies for that little tangent, please stick with me.

When watching Liverpool alone in a pub in London on Wednesday, and going mental when Gilardino scored the winner for Fiorentina even though Liverpool were already out, I realised that I was in serious danger of emulating our friends over the North Sea. I was worried that I may get sudden urges to blow my overdraft on a massive toothbrush.

Seriously though, thinking back I’ve hardly missed a Liverpool game on TV since their slump began, in case I miss another hilarious capitulation.

Back in Manchester it’s a community thing. I live in a distinctly red area of town (yes, before you say anything, they do exist). It’s just like in the middle ages, when local folk would gather around the stocks to ridicule the unfortunate souls trapped within, helpless to do anything about the misery of their plight. Apart from now the public house and the plasma have replaced the town square and stocks. The metaphor continues when you consider that people used to throw rotten tomatoes at such folk, thus reddening their appearance, whether it be their shirts or their faces.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I much prefer a title race with Liverpool than with Chelsea. Firstly because Liverpool play with more passion to better supporters, and secondly because, well, Chelsea are better, and I’m more worried that they might beat us. As a consolation for Liverpool fans (if they haven’t stopped reading already and told Terry and Barry to track me down and do their worst) they could well go on and win the Europa League. If they can beat Juventus, that is.

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