Maradona – We hate you (still)

by Dexy Longshot

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Es para volverse loco.

If you had to name the team you think will win the next World Cup, who would it be? I hate to say it but for me, at least on paper, I’d go for Argentina every time… that was until they appointed their new manager. When I clocked the news that Diego Maradona was taking over, I almost wet my strides! The squad with arguably the most gifted group of players in world football are being taken over by the Latin lunatic. THIS IS FANTASTIC NEWS!!!!!!!!

With oodles of talent in the form of Messi, Riquelme & Tevez etc, it’s mystifying (and satisfying!) to see the Argies struggle in the qualifying. They have turned to Diego along with former boss Carlos Bilardo by his side. I’m thinking a sort of El Dorado combo of Gazza/El Tel, both mustard in their hey-day but now teetering on the edge of insanity/dementure, reliving the by-gone days of 86. (How the job didn’t go to Sergio Batista who led the Messi inspired under 23s to Olympic Gold is anyone’s guess).

Diego starts his management career on Wednesday returning to the scene of his 79 debut at Hampden Park facing auld enemies Burnley and Butcher in the dugout. He is currently being swooned by masses of hysterical Argie top wearing Jocks like some returning William Wallace type leader and it is down to this goal*


As good as Maradona was, can you honestly tell me you don’t feel complete hatred for the short arse. Every time I see that clip I turn cold, I was 12 at the time and said the C-word for the 1st time. He even made me cry by rubbing our nose in it with one of the greatest goals ever, little s**t! Even that shouldn’t have counted, Glenda was clearly fouled a few seconds before Maradona did his ballet-like pirouette and went on the famous run for the 2nd.

“The Hand of God” quote said it all; he cheated us out of a place in the semis where we would have naturally mullered Belgium and then slayed West Germany in the final. Butcher has said before that he wished he had chinned him in the bogs after the game when they was waiting for a drugs test, maybe Butcher will have a word in the carzi at half-time on Wednesday. On the subject of drugs, who can forget the biggest scandal in World Cup history, USA 94? Where did he get all that energy from we wondered after he sent another goal past the Greeks and ran up to the camera pumped up like the spawn of an horrific Arnie/Sly love experiment. Mmm no wonder he spent all that time in the carzi, dirty little cokehead, bringing shame on the country that worshipped him like some sort of Umpah-Lumpha Messiah.

So, to Wednesday and the first & only time I will ever cheer on the Tartan Army, I might even have a few bob on them. Mental Madge has no experience, is a certified, gun toting nut job and will hopefully turn Messi & co into the biggest under-achievers since us. When Venables first arrived at Barcelona, he took one look at him & got shot pronto, hopefully after a run of bad results and non-qualification, the whole of Argentina will feel the same. I can’t wait for the rotund runt to fall flat on his pug face.

*(The 2nd most important goal in Jock history after Gemmills trainspotting moment).

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  • Jamie Farrier

    Now we’re 20 years in to the future and have the power of hindsight, many point out that Maradona’s Divine Digits were the epitome of a culture in South America at the time that applauded and celebrated winning by any effort possible. You were considered clever if you could twist the rules in your favour and get away with it. This only makes things worse for me; people say that as if we’re to accept said culture, when the sport we love should be about fair play and winning by the correct means.

    Maradona took no time to point out that Geoff Hurst’s goal of ’66 never cost the line and thus cheated the World Cup in to our hands. I couldn’t help but laugh at Diego’s comment here – I think there’s a marked difference between kicking a fluke goal and deliberately punching it in with your hand. Are you seriously suggesting Hurst is a cheat? And you seem to forget we scored another goal soon after that, so the result was beyond doubt anyway. Your goal cost us a place in the World Cup Final, Maradona, as it was a decisive goal. If you had done what you chose to do for your other goal, we would’ve had no complaints.

    Finally, I really can’t bring myself to support to Scots, Dexy. They’ve been celebrating Maradona arrival with absolute abandon (singing the Okey-Kokie to Maradona’s name, with the payoff line “he put the English out, out, out”). I think it’s pretty pathetic to celebrate another team’s misfortune as one of the great moments in Scottish football. They could be looking forward to taking on one of the world’s strongest sides, but instead they prefer to focus on the schadenfreude that pretty much sums up Scottish national football. I’m banking on a drab goalless draw personally – it’ll do nothing for both teams.

  • Stevie

    the most hated man in sport for sure along wit Ben Johnson, they will never be forgiven

  • Martin Tibbetts

    Am I the only person in the world who believes that his ‘greatest goal ever scored’ was actually a Butcher own goal? Look again, and tell me Terry doesn’t get the tackle in at the last, guiding the ball past Shilts…..

  • Darren

    the thing that I love about the (good) goal was Peter Reid, he jogged over to the cheat, then thought ah, some one else will tackle him, I’m knackered, 10 seconds later we are talking about the greatest goal ever scored…

    Typical England though, it could only happen to us!!

    I’m going for a 0-0 bore draw tonight by the way

  • Dexy Longshot

    I know it’s a hard decision who you would want to win out of the Jocks and the Argies but Diegos mob to me are the worst enemy, they are always games with incident (and cheating). I’ve had talksport on this morning and it has all been about Maradona, Fabio hardly got a mention. That’s how much him and his country still grate with the English.

    As the enemys go, After the Argies, Scotland and then the French. Germany used to be the No1 enemy but I’ve come to admire them over the years (keep it to yourself!), they are consistantly reaching finals without outstanding players.

  • Matt Quinn

    I hate Terry Butcher even more than Maradona! He is an absolute tit.
    How he can call Maradona a cheat is beyond me?
    In his playing days i remember him chopping down forwards all the time. Never with any intent to win the ball. Isnt that just the same? Its not allowed in the laws of the game. Therefore its cheating.

  • Darren

    Terry Butcher also head butted a fellow professional before the 1990 world cup, now that is cheating!!

  • Mickey Marbles

    Butcher did nut a player, Tunisia i think and was always using the elbow! He rants about being a Lionheart and never letting England down and then he goes and works for the Auld Enemy????

  • Matt Quinn

    I think i have irrational love of the Argentines. Passionate people and 4 of my all-time favourite players were Argentinian…
    Messi, Maradona, Redondo and Riquelme.
    Ive also got an Argentinian shirt.
    Come on the Argies.

  • Mickey Marbles

    Matt Quinn Says:
    “Ive also got an Argentinian shirt.
    Come on the Argies.”

    WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! Are you Rab C Nesbitt in disguise?

  • Dexy Longshot

    Sorry Matt, that is a disgrace, an Argie shirt?
    I know you love Messi but that is too much in book.

    My sis bought an Argie shirt in 98 because “It’s a nice colour!!”
    I told her not to wear in my presence and not down the pub either! She would have got an hiding.

  • Darren

    Matt loves to be controversial, I think he was the subject of ridicule at school for being so posh. And for looking like Sam form Pop Idol.

  • Nikki M

    If i met the man was offered to shake his hand, i’d make sure i broke all his fingers. LOL!

  • Mickey Marbles

    Especially the ones in his left hand!!!

  • matt quinn

    I love the way argentina played football. At the last world cup they played the best football, at world cup 94 they played the best football (until Maradona was kicked out)… i bought the shirt when i was 10 years old and now its retro and i like it.

    I have nothing against Argentina whatsoever. Other nations i cant stand- Scotland, Germany, Italy etc…. but i admire Argentina for the way they play football.

    Im not being controversial. I’d obviously support England against the Argies, but that doesnt mean i cant enjoy watching them in all the other games.

  • matt quinn

    Also, Maradona cheated against England in ’86, but Owen dived to win the penalty against Argentina in 2002. Whats the difference? Get over it. Maradona did what he could to get his team to win. We have had players like that for England. We need more of them!! Gerrard is now a well publicised diver. Whats the difference with that and punching the ball into the net??
    Wish everyone would stop being hypocrites.

  • Mickey Marbles

    Owen’s dive was payback for Simone in 98. We still owe them one.

  • Darren

    and you haven’t grown since you were 10 years old Matt? Actually you probably haven’t!

  • Kirky

    New to the site and just seen the blogs, very impressive i must say.
    Can’t wait for Maradonas 1st game tonight, will be watching as a neutral, don’t laugh, I’m Welsh and proud but my fathers from originally from Glasgow. I think some of the medias Dirty Diego is justified though. At the time and even now, it is considered probably the worst handball decision ever. I see Matt’s point about Owen’s dive but unfortunately that has become part and parcel of the game over the past 20 years, whereas a deliberate handball is much much worse. Diego handballed a shot of the line against Russia as well.

  • Dan Church

    I reckon Matt is actually Pullinger in disguise………….

  • Mickey Marbles

    I despise the man, if I had the chance to meet him and get an autograph, i’d rip it up right in front of him. Obviously, he wouldn’t give a toss but i would feel a bit better, it may be childish but I can’t help it. We hear everyone deserves a 2nd chance but I too am drawing the line with Diego.
    Anyway, isn’t there another game tonight against some European minnows or someone, Germany isn’t it?

    We’ll sneak it 2-1. Ashley Young will do Theos job but just on the other flank.

  • Dexy Longshot

    Cor, this blog has livened up in the last few hours, I thought little-legs might get some comments.Terry is refusing to shake his filthy cheater-stamped hand and Diego is losing no sleep over it, quite surprising considering his snorting history, talksport are going mental about it!

    Anyhow, Germany 2-1. We’re both down to b-teams and they do have home advantage….and they are Germany after all….

    No balls, we have the greatest manager since Sir Alf, even Sir Bobby Charlton said so. England 3-2. I fancy a few goals. Klose, podolski, Ashley, Abs and of course Jimmy Bullard!!!!!!

    All together now…
    “Jimmy Bullard, Bullard,
    he’s better than Steve Gerrard,
    he’s thinner than Frank Lampard,
    Jim Bullard, Bullard”


  • Darren

    yep, old Wolfgang has perked up a bit hasn’t he!!!

    Matt & Pullinger are best mates, they are both massive Steven Gerrard fans!

    See article and Robs comments for an example

    Rob, where are you? Pullinger to ground control, do u copy?

  • George

    Come on why do people keep bring up that Quater final, saying we could have won if it wasn’t for that. Shoulda woulda coulda. I mean really. England had the potential to win alot of world cups and euro cups since then, and have they done anything with it. I dont recall winning anythng since 1966 was it? Lets not use silly excuses liek that. they probably have the highest paid managers, and in if you count up all the players wages at club level probaly exceed any other international team by a mile. And yet we still have to find excuses.

  • Dexy Longshot

    We would have murdered them if it stayed at 1-1 (ie the handball didn’t count). For the last half hour when John Barnes came on, he was turning the defence inside out (granted, it was probably his last best performance in the shirt). We would have nicked it in extra time, mark my words!

  • Darren

    I agree with George, it was years ago, get over it. swings and round abouts, you hit or you get hit. You stay or you go!

    We never go out of a tournament being totally out played, there’s always an excuse, cos that’s just the way we are!

    70, Peter Bonenti’s fault
    74 DNQ (Polish keeper)
    78 DNQ (To windy)
    82 Keegans fault for being injured
    86 See above
    90 Waddle & Pearce’s fault
    94 Turnip
    98 Beckhams fault, Sol’s goal that wasn’t
    2002 Ronalidinos fluke goal
    2006 Rooney’s fault

    see, we should have every World Cup, we are very hard done by…

  • Dan Church

    Past glorious faliures aside, looking at tonight, this is the first chance that Fabio has had to inadvertantly field the team that 50% of Joe Public want him to field, a chance to blood some youthful new faces. How long have people been saying give Young, Agbonlahor, Wright Phillips, Bent, Lescott etc a chance in the team, let them have a go if they think their hard enough……these people are the future of English football, once Lampard has imploded, Gerrard stops playing due to stress of the failed kidnap attempt by messers Quinn and Pullinger and Beckham is finally told hes past it, tonight team will be our first team, if they cant beat a German B team then there is no hope…..

  • Darren

    Stuart Downing? Do me a favour!

  • Dexy Longshot

    Ashley must start!
    Their defence is well dodgy, we have to attack, get the speedsters on.

  • rob pullinger

    how dare you mr church bring me into this……. you dirty manc????

    as for you darren, you should know better too, you have tasted the wrath many a time on and off the pitch, remember the hidding we gave you??????

    finally, just for the record i am a huge fan of stev g and the true mighty reds…not the manc’s…, who’s sitting a the top of the league now?????


  • Darren

    how many Liverpool games have you been to Rob? 1, 2? Call yourself a fan, I think not!!!

    Steve G should never play for England again, we don’t need him, Barry and Carrick did more last night then Gerrard has in his whole career!

    What hiding? oh when you beat our C team in 5 a side game? Bring on the 11 a side, then we shall see, then we shall see, mind you won’t be able to play cos you’ll be sitting on your sofa pretending to a Liverpool fan!

  • Diego

    Perry Butcher? Who?

  • Tom

    Liverpool have no depth in their squad, look how pathetic they were against a Spurs B team! They will do what Arsenal did last season and fall short, plus they have to sell some players in Jan cos they aint got no money!

    Chelsea will walk the title, they are head and shoulders above everyone. Liverpool will be a respectable 3rd.

  • rob pullinger

    Lads lets not get personal…..darren if i remember was more than a five a side game and we slaughtered you….i believe a full team game was planned, but no-one could do it, anyway the same result would happen you get cainned…..

    as for the gerrard thing, he’ll be back, you know it so does everyone else…..agree players last night played well, bit of competion… for the liverpool thing alot more than you think, never been an arm chair fan and never will, how bout you, take it you dont watch your team that much, you pretend on PSP or Xxbox……..UM,

    Now Mr Tom, yes agree with you liverpool lack depth, but we have already beating Chelsea you so called Prem Winners and Man u, and further still we are at the TOP……

    ps..we dont need to sell anyone…..please get your FACTS right…..

    and in regards to losing to spurs, we fully deserved too, will admit that, but in the league game we played them off the park, yes we lost but harry’s admitted they were lucky!!!!!

    as for doing what Arsenal did last season, NEVER…we have won trophies, have they???????

    stop nit picking about the stev g and liverpool thing, its old news, i take it you got nothing better to do with your day, if your gonna debate do it on something interesting????


  • Darren

    ok, it was maybe 6 a side then, i’ll give you that one. 11 a side is a different game, and thats why you lot bottled it. I’d bet you personally (£100) that you would NOT beat us.

    I don’t make out to be a big Arsenal fan, everyone knows that. I was back in the day yes, didn’t miss a home game for 4 years. I’ve heard you’ve been to 1 Liverpool game.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but what did Liverpool win last year? we won the womans football league, so 1-0, shame up! I also forgot our first team haven’t won any trophies over the last 10 years.

    Do you like fishing Rob?

  • rob pullinger

    Not done it years, did many a fishing when i was a wee little lad..

    As for betting on footy , i am offically retired because of knee problems, had one op already due another, if was playing i would gladly take your bet and money…..(WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU WOULD BEAT THIS TIME……????)

    1 liverpool game, god you make me laugh, ha,ha,ha……..

    we won nothing last year, didnt think we was counting women’s football or are you into that aswell, i was saying in last few years, appologies….

  • Dexy Longshot

    I’m gonna organise a dexysden arm-wrestling competition to sort this all out.

    We’ll get the UKFF girls down, top london nightspot, Lindsay Lohan, Sarah Harding, Mo form Eastenders, Graham Poll can ref, the full shabang!!!

  • Kermit T Frog

    Please dont bring me into this, im enjoying my retirement gracefully. I dont wish to get involved.

  • Eleonora

    Diego Armando Maradona es el mejor jugador del mundo indiscutible, y en el 86 les hizo a los ingleses 2 goles, uno de ellos es considerado el gol mas lindo en la historia de los mundiales…
    Vamos Argentina!! y ahora que tenemos a DIOS de DT todo sueño es posible para volver a salir campeones!

  • dexylongshot


  • Darren

    ¡el maradona es un twat y todavía lo odiamos, y él apesta de viejos kebabs!!

  • Darren

    ¿no estamos preguntando su segunda meta, era simplemente magnífica, pero aparte de esa meta y la meta contra Bélgica qué más lo tiene hecho en historia de la taza de mundo?

  • Eleonora

    Darren! gracias por seguir odiandolo! me encanta que lo odie gente como vos, porque es natural gracias al mejor jugador del mundo Diego Armando Maradona, los eliminamos del mundial y salimos campeones! eso jamas te lo vas a olvidar!
    Maradona hizo hermoso el futbol, nadie jamas la va a mover como el.

  • Darren

    no dije que lo odio, su la manera inglesa nunca de perdonar. Como he dicho, el hombre era un genio, y como todos los genuis se deslustran con una raya malvada, Cantana, mejor, Zindane. No hay negación del hombre era un jugador generación, su la suya de los numeritos del campo que lo dejaron abajo. El hombre es un tramposo, una feria y un cuadrado.

  • Eleonora

    Darren disculpa si no te comprendo bien, seguramente es el traductor… decis que no lo odias y a la vez en tus palabras noto un una agresion constante, aceptas lo innegable y a la vez terminas “intentando descalificarlo” con palabras como tramposo? feria? cuadrado?

    I’m sorry I do not understand…
    Diego was the best player in history, that is not in dispute, agree?

  • Stevie

    Zindane was the best player, when he moved it was like watching a ballet dancer

  • Darren

    Perry Groves is the best player of time, he was also ginger.

    I’d go with Zindane actually, Maradona had to many issues and fell out with everyone he ever played with or for. But if you are talking for pure footballing ability then I guess he was

  • English

    The only ones who give a hoot for the greasy, slimey, cheating volleyball player are those brownnosing jorks who are just as detestible as cheating spik himself.

    But then they will suck the cock of anyone who beats or cheats England – they really are that immature. Let’s face it the porridge still haven’t managed to come down from ronaldo’s arse have they?

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