Newcastle United: A big club….

by Mystical Mike

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

…or just a scam?

The recent return of King Kevin to Tyneside recently has had a massive
impact on the hoards of Geordie’s who manage somehow to turn out in their
thousands not only on a Saturday afternoon for the usual St. James dross,
but also on a Tuesday morning when the latest big money superstar is
unveiled prior to a not so long and not so successful stay on Tyneside. More
importantly to me though the return of Kevin Keegan to the Premiership and
English footballs elite reminded me why I dislike Newcastle United so much.


It’s a real dilemma though for me as I don’t actually dislike Newcastle
United, the players are OK no-one there who makes my blood boil (unless of
course Pires and Henry pitch up at St. James in their 34th year for that pay
packet that only Newcastle’s football retirement agency seems to provide),
it must be the fans I hear you call, no its not the fans, daft bunch with
intensive case of grandeur, but being a Spurs fan can I really accuse anyone
of that? The managers then, no still no alarm bells ringing, Keegan,
Dalglish, Ruud “not so sexy football” Gullit or Sir Bobby, they are all fine
by me.

But there is one thing that hits my football panic button about the black
and white army. What I can not stand is the English press who seem intent on
making the footballing public believe that Newcastle United is a “big” club.
Where did this myth start, well I believe I have worked it out.

Most clubs lets take Manchester United for instance, in the opinion of most,
outside of Merseyside, the biggest of them all established in 1878. Great so
let’s go down the ladder a bit, Tottenham Hotspur, fantastic club great cup
pedigree and one of the bigger clubs established in 1883. And then there is
Newcastle United, if you believed the writers in the national press, the
biggest of them all and established is the grand old year of 1993, yes
that’s right we are lead to believe that this great clubs history began in
1993, along with the Premier League and football as we know it today.

Within this 18 year period the club has won nothing, but don’t let this
confuse you they are massive, don’t let anyone tell you that there has been
more silverware added to the cabinets at Leicester City and Blackburn Rovers
in this period, it honestly means nothing. For Newcastle United have 55,000
bums on seats at every home game and this means more than anything, doesn’t
matter that pre-Keegan “Mark I” this crowd was about 30% of this figure.

But what about Shearer I hear you cry, and that 12 point lead, they were the
great entertainers; everyone loves them I will hear in the background. Each
and every point can be addressed.

Alan Shearer although undoubtedly a fantastic goal-scorer sums up Newcastle,
a player who choose to win nothing and remain a superstar in a goldfish ball
rather than explore his obvious call to greatness at Old Trafford. The 12
point lead, the great entertainers and all that jazz, it was only one
season, and as Aristotle said “one swallow does not make a summer”.

It’s such a shame, in my opinion, that a club like Newcastle United is made
a laughing stock by the mere fact that their reputation is inflated by the
press. For me, now take away the obvious financial implication of St. James
Park, there is no difference between same Bolton Wanderers and Newcastle
United, both have a reasonable pre-war history but in modern football mean
nothing. That’s right no league championships, no FA cups, no League cups
and certainly no European honours. Although should you bump into Big Sam I
think keeping the theory to yourself would be advisable.

I am of the opinion that your run of the mill Geordie man in the street does
not share the view that Newcastle United is a big club. They must be sick to
the back teeth with the way their club gets built up constantly by the
media, only to knock them down and laugh at them every Sunday morning when
things go wrong for the umpteenth time.

As big clubs go in England our friends in the north are struggling to hit
the top ten, and if you remove financial clout, so often now the deciding
factor in our great game, then they are clearly relegation candidates. I
think everyone will agree of a top three being Manchester United, Liverpool
and Arsenal. Although the obvious recent omission there is the Stamford
Bridge Mafioso, not even the most ardent Blue would fight their case against
the other three and although it hurts to say it recent history means they
fall into their own category just below the big three. Under this you have
to look at the bigger also-rans Everton, Tottenham Hotspur & Aston Villa.

Stage four would see the arrival of Leeds United and finally Newcastle
United. And we are all well aware where Leeds United find themselves now.
Beware Geordies those days of trips to Plymouth and 15,000 gates can return.
It really is time that the truth was shouted from the rooftops, Newcastle
United a big club – not outside the North-East. Just ask Alan Shearer, had
Manchester United manager been the position vacant and not the St. James hot
seat would he have turned that down to sit alongside Hanson and Co on the

Draw your own conclusions just don’t read the newspapers or you will be
wearing black and white, proclaiming the return of a Messiah (again) and
shouting “howay the lads” before the end of the article.



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  • Darren

    I would pretty much say it’s a scam yes. Just because you have a big following doesn’t mean you have the right to claim you are a big club.

    Jesus has a big following and yet half the world will totally ignore him. Seriously though, I would liken Newcastle to Croydon in South London, everyone keeps saying it’s up and coming yet it will always be a sh*thole, in the same way Newcastle will always be a nearly team.

    Along with Spurs, Everton & Villa, Newcastle are so far behind the big four that not even massive cash injections can help them. Look Spurs for example.

    Spurs won the Mickey cup and thought they became a top four side over night. I have seen no evidence of this in their current league form.

  • Billy Boro

    Boro are a bigger club then Newcastle, when was the last time they won anything?

    Over the years we have signed bigger players in Alves, Juninho & Ravelli, and we have the best youth academy in the Premier League.

    You are my Boro, my only Boro, you make me happy, when skies are grey!!!!

    Come on the Boro!!!!!!

  • lewins7

    After reading you statement I see you have not got a clue what you are talking about and have infact just made up your own ammunition for your argument, you say our history only started in 1993 when we have infact won the League 4 times, you claim Shearer to be stupid for not leaving us, why would he? He loves the club and is a proper fan, not some stuck up ponse leaving his team in the dirt to go and play for a club that trophies come in there heards, he chose to stay with his heart and he doesent regret it either. Now we are in fact level on points with you lot and not in a relegation battle and have just slammed 4 past you, completing our second double in two seasons. Recently we have finished 2nd in the league twice, 3rd twice, and 4th as well as apearing in two FA cup finals, we have the likes of Barcelona and Inter in the CL, been classed as the “entertainers” for our great football, been surveyed as the most loyal fans, what have Spurs done? Won a Mickey mouse cup that no-one cares about, that about sums it up. You say our fans were poor before Keegan came but I will have you know that during this time was our worst ever attendance average figure during a season, but this is also the highest ever lowest attendens figure by an English club, in other words every other club in England has had worse. I also find it ammusing that you claim claim Spurs to be in the basket just below the top 4, yet Newcastle are on par with Leeds, a club who are in Division 1 and have a worse history than Newcastle, you wouldnt have known this though would you, that Newcastle actualy have a good history? because you just listen to the what the southern papers spout all the time, infact we have won the FA cup 6 times, you say no europe? we have won the fairs cup (eufa clup), and the League you say we have not won, we have won the League double the ammount Tottenham have. I think you should do a little research before you spout tripe next time.
    Simple fact, Newcastle have won the League more than Spurs, We have more fans than Spurs, we have shared better recent league success than Spurs, we have more money than Spurs, infact the only thing you lot have over us is the recent winning of the Mickey Mouse Cup.
    So why does it bug you so much that the press say these things about us and not your club, jelousy? its the only factor I can think of.

    As for Billy Boro, I can only laugh at you.

    Your “mighty boro” have only won one solitary mickey mouse cup in your entire existence and your fanbase is embaracing.

    Alves, Juninho and Ravelli have not got a scratch on the likes of Shearer, Beardsley, Owen, Andy Cole, Ferdinhand, Asprilla, Ginolla ect……………..

    The best youth academy, the same acadamy that was trounced 5-0 twice in 2 seasons from Newcastle is it?

  • denta

    newcastle are so small and insignificant you chose to post a 1000 word blog on them? There can’t be much else going on in your life Clive. Let me guess… your single yeah??

  • Clive Edwards

    Newcastle United Honours – Champions 4 times (last win 1926) FA Cup 6 times (last win 1955) League Cup 0 times Fairs Cup (DOES NOT EXIST NOW AND IS NOT THE UEFA CUP ACCORDING TO OFFICIAL UEFA STATS) 1 time (last win 1969) Charity Shield 1 times (last win 1909)

    Total Trophies – 12 – last win 1969 if you count the fairs cup otherwise 1955!

    Tottenham Hotspur Honours – Champions 2 times (last win 1961) FA Cup 8 times (last win 1991) League Cup 4 times (last win 2008) UEFA Cup 2 times (last win 1984) Cup WInners Cup 1 time (last win 1963) Charity Shield 7 times (last win 1992)

    Total Trophies – 24 – last win 2008.

    All this says that you are not even close to us with regards honours. The fact that your club has to enter entry into competitions on your official website honours list says it all.,,10278~223384,00.html

    We have decades of trophies and top players you have some great times in the 00 50’s and a pathetic attempt at being a BIG club in the 90’s – crawl back into your hole.

    And to denta – no not single married, own my own house, good job nice car etc etc JUST HATE NEWCASTLE!

  • lewins7

    Clive your clubs shit and your fans are even worse, you cannot even fill your 36 thou stadium man youre a joke, Newcastle have been recently announced as Englands 5th club by the way, ahead of your farce of a club, cheers for the 6 points next season anyway mate in advance, we’ll make it 7 in a row and congrats on winning the micky mouse teddy bear, yous done well.

  • lewins7


    Let’s have a look at some simple stat’s to debunk your list of petty theories and we will see afterwards who is deluded. You might like to wear your trainer bra as you read:

    Premiership Record:

    Newcastle: Spuds:
    93/94: 3rd 15th
    94/95: 6th 7th
    95/96: 2nd 8th
    96/97: 2nd 10th
    97/98: 13th 14th
    98/99: 13th 11th
    99/00: 11th 10th
    00/01: 11th 12th
    01/02: 4th 9th
    02/03: 3rd 10th
    03/04: 5th 14th
    04/05: 14th 9th
    05/06: 7th 5th
    06/07: 13th 5th

    Spuds 92/93: 8th

    I’ll hold my hands up that trophies should come into it but you are on a similar level to us in that front (as you will see below), though yes we have not won anything significant in 49 years (intertoto 2 years ago haha).

    However, big clubs consistently play champions league football. Thus you have NEVER been a big club, whereas we flit in and out of this category. Currently we are mediocre, like you.

    You’re highest ever premiership position is 5th – you’re best league achievement in the last 16 years of the premiership is being the highest mediocre club (though mainly you have been mid table insignificants). CONGRATULATIONS.

    You haven’t actually finished in the top 4 since 1989. Whereas we haven’t won a major trophy in 49 years, we have been consistently up there challenging for honours in recent history; whilst you haven’t been able to run with the Big Boys since the 1989 season (and even then it was a one season wonder.

    In fact, in your last mediocre half century [to take your 50 year jibe in context] you have not finished in the top four in consecutive seasons once. You haven’t done this since 1959 -1961. Now that IS amusing.

    Premiership Average Finish: Toon 7.5 Spuds: 9.2
    All time premiership Stats Ranking: Toon 5th Spuds: 10th

    Our recent success (mickey mouse trophies aside) and premiership superiority is indisputable.

    Historical Trophies:
    Toon: League Champions 4 times, FA Cup 6 times, UEFA/Fairs cup 1 time.
    Spuds: League Champions 2 times, FA Cup 8 times, League Cup 4 times, Uefa Cup 2 times.

    Our historical success is about even. You thrash us on the sh1te cup, just beat us on FA and Uefa but we have doubled your league champion’s record.

    Fans/Population Statistics:
    Newcastle 280,000 for 1 major club. Weekly attendance 52,000 roughly 1/5 of population.

    Manchester 2.5million for 2 major clubs. UTD: 67,000 City: 42,000 roughly 1/25 of population attending combined clubs.

    Liverpool 530,000 for 2 major clubs. Swimming Pool: 44,000 Everton: 37,000 roughly 1/7 of population combined between the 2 clubs.

    London 7.5 million for 5 major clubs (lets say Arsenal 60,000/ Chelsea 41,000/ Tottenham,40,000/ West Ham,35,000/ Fulham, 23,000) roughly 1/37 of population.

    Birmingham, 1 million for 2 major clubs City: 26,000, Villa: 40,000. roughly 1/18 of population for both clubs.

    Coventry is a city that has a similar population: 330,000 (in fact 22% higher than Toon) and their premiership average attendances were less than half of ours.

    Just because we are a one club city does not prove anything; our city is tiny in comparison to the rest. Only Liverpool compete with us on this issue. You should also consider that Toon away fans have by far and away the highest man miles per season coupled with higher percentage of away fan avaerage attendances (Lancaster University White Paper on premiership away attendances)

    All in all Tim, the only thing that Tottenham are better than us at is winning the Mickey Mouse League cup consistently, a fact Im sure you are very proud of. We are better than you in almost all other departments, particularly with form over the last 15 years (which I would rate as most important but please feel free to live in the distant past if you so desire); so if we are a “2-bit club,” WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU?????????

    Some Geordies are delusional. I am not. I am fully aware that we are currently pretty rubbish – but so are you. The difference is that you have been for a very long time and will continue to be. If you won the league cup every season that wouldn’t change anything. We are not a BIG club but we are certainly bigger than you.

    Qualify for the CL and perhaps we can start talking then.


    PS Do write back if you feel you have anything valuable to say…….otherwise speak to you when it’s 6 on the trot. I will interpret your silence on this matter with the contempt that it deserves. You’ve got nothing Tim.

    Hope you’re well mate. I will be back in London in May – it would be great to see you for a pint. Good luck to Spuds for the rest of the season. Our run-in is harder than yours but I reckon we might just catch you to finish top of the bottom half. We shall see.

    Big Love

    *NOTE: Most stats taken from Tottenham + Toon official and unofficial websites as well as Skysports, City Councils and other club websites. I didn’t have much to do for the last 90 minutes (bit like Spuds last weekend eh?)

  • Tim

    too long winded a post to read!! so in brief…..

    based on last season there is a top 4, then there is Everton, the rest is a free for all with about 6 or 7 clubs who are like yo yo’s all season

    they spend money every transfer window, have high expectations and then fall on their arse. the difference between the top 4 and the also rans is consistency, one week Spuds or Toon are great the following they are crap, last season more often was crap!

    i take exception to Everton bein put into the same bracket as Newcastle or Tottenham. Everton are a steadily improving club, Newcastle, Spurs, Boro just keep wasting cash and buying misfits and sacking their managers.

    Rome wasn’t built in a day, they should learn that. Allardtce should of had time.

    I predict that Blackburn, Villa, Everton and Pompey will all finish ahead of Newcastle, no matter who they buy

  • toon

    of course newcastle are a big club ok i am the first to admit our team isnt that good but wedo get 52000 people and before you say that doesnt make you a big club yes it does it doesnt mean were gonna get a good team but it does mean we are a big club youre league position or how many trophies you win doesnt mean a lot about the size of your club for example nottingham forrest would you say they are a big club they have won 2 champs leagues does and also outside the top 4 we have qualuified for the champions league more than any one else (SINCE PREM BEGAN) BUT STILL THAT IS IRRELEVANT because hyperthetically lets say man u get relegated next year does that make them a small club no it just means they have a bad team and as for the previous comment you can hardley acuse borough of sacking thier manager they are known for how much they stick by thier managers

  • clive edwards

    lewins7 – An arguement that will run and run – under the current circumstances I think silence on both sides is more than required….

    But that pint is a must…

  • Darren

    it’s very to hard to pick a worse Spuds or Newcastle team then what they both have now, at least Newcastle do supply some humour with Joe Kinnear!!

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