Rooney pictured in an Arsenal shirt

by Mystical Mike

Monday, May 27th, 2013

This is aimed at all those lazy journalists and wannabes who have nothing better to write about. If the following headlines are from your blog, website or paper, then you are an IDIOT.

Reading v Arsenal - Premier League


Wenger wants to bring England international to the Emirates Stadium.

Arsenal are ready to break the bank to bring Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney to the Emirates this summer.

Arsenal May Change Salary Policy to Sign Rooney.

Arsenal ‘offer Rooney £200k-a-week’

Rooney in surprise Gunners link

You know who you are. Do some research before writing such drivel. There are 100 reasons why Rooney won’t be coming to Arsenal. Here’s 10

1) Arsenal will NOT pay anyone 200k per week, even Messi.

2) Why would Wenger risk unsettling a happy squad because one BRAT wants more money than anyone else

3) Chelsea

4) Man City

5) He’s not worth 200k per week and we still have debt to pay off.

6) Wenger will buy 5 unknowns and make them great

7) We were linked with Mata & Hazard remember

8) Stan Kroenke

9) Rooney will want trophies. He’s not guaranteed that The Emirates

10) Arsene Wenger

 I’m getting really wound up seeing these headlines. Why not be original and make a different one up, Ronaldo wants Arsenal move to make them great again. Timmy Mallet eat my Arsenal shirt, Peirs Morgan buys Messi for Arsenal.

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  • west

    Haha well said.

  • Soner Osman

    Well said mate. Lol.. I like the peirs Morgan buys messi for arsenal lol and so he should the tight git.

  • The BearMan

    Rooney head, but Wilshere body, a bit cheeky! Someone wanting to scar Wilshere for life??

  • http://airtelmalawi chinguo malawi

    Go wenger with action it ll be good revenge after vanpersie

  • http://Jos maurice shikpup

    This is kieran Gibbs body, just look at the movement.

  • gadman

    very good article. I will help u more headlines: Higuan has agreed personal terms with arsenal; Jovetic is Arsenal bound

  • gadman

    even better: Higuan spoted in London coleny(don’t mine d spelling);Jovetic brother buying a house in north London.

  • http://N/A Alvin Tesot

    photoshop!! thats Mikel Art8ta’s body

  • Izuchukwu

    Can you please do an article on the LIKELY players to be signed by Arsene Wenger this summer; not necessarily what the team needs. I love this piece on Wayne Rooney. Thank you.

  • http://manutdnewsnow sunday akpan

    Arsenal are jelous type the picture is not Rooney i no, the should stop all this writeup, am tired of it.

  • moogy

    of course its not Rooney, read the sponsor, its a brilliant joke! nice one. Very funny and you lot are mugs for falling for it!

    Hilarious and great blog too!!!!!!!

  • Philip


    The fact that we are running scared of the price tag in Jovetic tells u all u need to know about our transfer aspirations

  • Mitchcav

    I’m telling you it’s true! Dave’s mum told me

  • GD

    Funny article

    But… your headline is blatent hit hunting.
    Shame on you, it’s spurs scum style behaviour.

  • Mystical Mike

    @GD You’re completely missing the point of the piece. It’s a rant, so obviously we wanted as many people as poss to read it!

  • Mafuta Hosea

    I Support Wenger 2 Live Stevan Coz He Iz Too Expensive. It Iz Better For Wenger 2 Buy Star.

  • mussa khalfan

    Just go man_we don’t need you because you want_go go go

  • RealG

    Haha funny and true article! Does get annoying every transfer window the media comes out that Arsenal will buy a household name and we never do! Surely the media have to know this, same thing every year!! I guess its the same people in the media who say Arsenal won’t finish in the top 4 every year and that Spurs are a bigger club! lol!
    I skip past all the transfer ‘news’ when its players like Rooney etc linked and only read the rumours about players I have barely heard of or who i know most people haven’t heard of, as they are the most realistic transfers, that is how Wenger works… e.g. Sanogo! Who I believe we have actually signed now 🙂 ..when I first heard those rumours (and most people saying Yaya ‘who??’) I knew that he was a realistic target, perfect raw talent! This guy will be a superstar, possibly better than Rooney!!! We got him for free and nobody knows him! YET!
    We don’t buy superstars, we make them!!

  • anikpe chinonso

    Rooney is going no were, arsenal can not even pay him.

  • Usmanov

    He is coming trust me its not rubbish rumours

  • sadi ajingi

    I don’t care about rooney all I want is arsene to buy a striker who can score us goals. A bout his (rooney) picture is not his but whilshere body and rooney face

  • Usmanov

    look if he does come it will be amazing, I know that no one wants him because hes united but v persie went to them from there rivaled club and scored lots of goals and is the best
    player so lets hope it will happen to rooney

  • usmanov

    look rooney is coming does anyone agree or im the only one

  • Mystical Mike

    wont happen, this is Arsenal and Wenger and we are talking about

  • usmanov

    i dont understand u

  • eniola

    Lolzzzz I do love this particular articule.I personally also do believe that wayne is not going 2 arsenal all we hear on the tabloid are just false speculation.

  • RVP

    Notgoingtohappen4sure! Arsene will spend low…

  • http://gmail peter

    van persie want arsenal return

  • Philip

    Are Arsenals scout really Chelsea ones? Every time we are linked with a player Chelsea go for them too. Just proves that team have no class, no soul and k-know how

  • Arkadiy

    Decent player, but I don’t want this fat chav at Arsenal…

  • Hako Sakaria I

    He must not leave United

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