Sol-d! To The Man With Loads Of Cash But No Trophies

by Mystical Mike

Friday, July 30th, 2010

The Real Talking Points

Newcastle became the latest mugs to hand Sol Campbell an eye-watering, money-loaded contract. Judging by his last career move out of London, I give this one three weeks before he runs away from St James Park citing ‘a difference of opinion with Joey Barton’.

Spurs’ bid of £7 million for Scott Parker was rejected by West Ham, who have since offered the player £20m or so to stay for five years. Whatever happened to Sullivan and Gold – the new bearers of the “Spending Sensibly” West Ham? More on that later. Spurs will probably have more joy with the £4m bid for Craig Bellamy. Manchester City seem desperate to get shot of the Welsh git, much like they were with…

…Mark Hughes, who became Fulham’s new manager this week. I think this could turn out to be a decent appointment for the Cottagers. The Welshman did a half-decent job at City before losing his job. How do you think he’ll do?

Talking of City, Mario Balotelli still hasn’t signed for anyone, but some reports say that he’s about to join Gareth Barry and friends for £24m and £65K a week.

Big News if It Happens

Spanish legend Raul left Real Madrid for Schalke.

Martin O’Neil rates one-footed, always-cuts-inside, England B-winger Ashley Young at £30m. He’s on his own then.
Meanwhile, the Villa boss held talks with James Milner over his future at the club. Talks between Villa and City are thought to have gone dead when City insulted the Villans by offering Shaun ‘Running Down Blind Alleys Like A Lost Child” Wright Phillips. O’Neil’s midfield woes could be compounded further if Petrov joins Woy Hodgson’s Fulhampool revolution at Anfield Cottage.
West Ham – a team who’s ability to sign over-rated footballers on massively-inflated wages has only been matched by Portsmouth (take note ‘Arry, you managed both) in recent years – want to sign David Beckham. They also want Michael Owen, Paul Parker, Terry Butcher and anyone else who once played quite good football. Please note: I left out anyone connected with England at this World Cup.

Arsenal want Per Mertsesacker, Luke Young is stuttering over colour choices – he’s undecided as to whether he wants to sit on a red or a claret coloured bench next season (Pending deal to join Liverpool from Aston Villa).

Chelsea have been told to pay £33m for David Luiz of Benfica. He’s Brazilian and the Blues also want to sign Ramires, his club and International team-mate.

Meanwhile in more serious matters, Harry Redknapp has allegedly offered to re-house a donkey, according to The Sun. Russian donkey Anapka was recently seen on the front of the red tops flying a kite. Rumours that he is housing this donkey with another – Jermaine Jenas – have so far proved to be inconclusive.

Finally, one rumour gone wrong – Real Madrid want Carlton Cole. I think their scout was caught out by one of those predictive Google answers. I think he meant to type in ‘Cashley’. On a positive note, at least Carlton won’t crash his car after being offered a paltry £60,000 – or leave his phone in unusual locations!

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  • dexylongshot

    Hands of Carlton Cryuff!!! I’d take Paul Parker though.

    It wouldn’t surprise me if Cashley did the Frankies to Real purely to get him away from our media for a bit. Real have a Real (like it) chance of upsetting the Barcelona dream team with some beauty and the beast style wars in the next 10 months over in Espana, not too mention in the Champs League too. I might even whack a fiver on a Real Double under The Special One.

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