The Great Escape Vol 2?

by Dexy Longshot

Monday, April 14th, 2008

Possibly available on Survival Sunday 4:45pm in Chelsea

A surprising result at the weekend for Bolton and everyone is talking about the Wanderers surviving the drop to the championship. My mate mystical Mike wouldn’t put it past them and envisages another dramatic Survival Sunday like last year. Ah yes, what an afternoon of high drama that was, the Tevez inspired Hammers went up to Old Trafford and did the reds 1-0, the 2nd win against them that season (what is it with Man U and the Irons?) leaving Warnock with his big head in his hands and teary Blades and Sean Bean looking forward to Scunthorpe away. Sorry Mike, but I’ve had a good look at Bolton and can’t see them surviving, despite the lifeline win against the Irons on Saturday, in fact, I’ll neck the trilby if they are celebrating at Stamford Bridge on the last day of the season.

A quick butchers at Bolton and it is no surprise they are languishing in the relegation zone. After Allardyce’s exit last year after he guided them into yet another top 10 finish as well as Europe, Big Sam was lured by Geordie gold giving little Sammy Lee & the Trotters a reason to have such a nickname, lose game after game on the trot.

Why ex-Liverpool cup winner Sammy Lee was given such responsibility is a mystery, an excellent coach on the training pitch is not always the case when stepping up to full time manager, look at Bryan Kid when he left Fergie and Steve McCarrot with England. Carrot in crime Sammy took the reigns and had a right Weston* & it didn’t take long for Bolton to take up residency at the lower end of the Premier League. Losses to Sam’s new look Geordies (ouch), Fulham and Pompey started the trend before a 3-0 win against Reading. Was this to be the turnaround for the pint sized scouser…. non, his arch enemy Everton soon pushed the Wanderers back into the Eartha** and then a loss to Birmingham continued the woe, it didn’t look at all rosy for the rosy cheeked Lee.

Anelka was getting the right hump and soon made it clear he didn’t want to hang about especially with Chelsea dangling the bangers*** down south. Stories of dressing room unrest and players being played out of position (especially Nolan who was wasted out wide) all led to the imminent downfall of Sammy. So what do Bolton do, get in Gary Megson, mmm, he’ll sort things out, yep Gary’s the man to get us up the table. On the European front, he did well, which was the only real positive of the season with a 2-2 draw with Bayern Munich the highlight. It was such a pity he didn’t go for glory instead putting out a b-team when he surrendered against Sporting Lisbon and a possible Battle of Britain tie against Rangers. Would Trotters faithful rather had gone for it in the Uefa cup, or concentrate on survival in the Premier league where dirty cash rules and money talks (“oohhhh Dirty Cash I need you oohhh!!” Stevie V circa 90 was the nuts). Personally I would have gone for the cup but then again, I’m not a Trotter. Incidentally, despite putting out the weakened team against Sporting, the Bolton first 11 still lost against Wigan 3 days later.

Great Escape

Anelka was eventually sold to Chelsea & the goals have dried up. The words lack of ambition comes to mind. Press rumours suggest Diouf is spitting with situation and wants out of the Reebok come May. Hurly burly Kevin Davies has tried his best since coming back from injury and Nolan is now back in the goals but is the West Ham victory too little too late.

The future looks bleak for Bolton with Middlesbrough (A), Tottenham (A), Sunderland (H) and Chelsea (A) on survival Sunday. Chelsea haven’t lost at home for 70 odd games.

Sorry Bolton, I fear the end is nigh and my beloved Trilby is safe from the oven. I even had 200 Kilkenny’s**** on it down the bookies. I suggest you do the same.


* Mare – Weston Super Mare
** Eartha – Eartha Kitt (work it out)
*** Cash – Bangers and Mash
**** Pennies – Kilkenny’s

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  • Darren

    Bolton are doomed, simple as, Megson is a joke. I can’t believe they actually thought he was the twat to take them forward, he is a championship manager and nothing more.

    I hated Bolton with Big Sam, but at least they were effected. Arsenal would not have won 3-2 if he was in charge for sure.

    Kevin Davies is not a goal scorer, he had 1 good season with Southampton, he will not get you 20 goals per season. Megson should of replaced Anelka but chose to keep a crappy squad like this one.

  • Tef1on

    Big Sam Made Bolton who they were then fucked off to Newcastle only to Destroy them.

    Megson did well compared to Little Sam. But i ogtta say, hope they go down with Birmingham instead of Fulham

  • Martin Tibbetts

    Despite the fact that every Leicester fan didn’t want him at the Walkers in the first place, Megson proved what an absolute twat he is by running out after 6 weeks or so. I mean really, who takes a job, then says ‘oops a better one just came up, I am off’? What kind of message is that to the players about loyalty.

    If the mighty Foxes go down to the third tier for the first time in their history, and it is looking increasingly likely that they will, I will be devastated. But I will take a great deal of pleasure in watching Megson go down with the sinking ship that is Bolton – doubt there will be many ‘better offers’ awaiting him then – tosser.

  • Darren

    I was in Leicester at the weekend Tibbets, my mate went to the game, he said it was absolutely abysmal, no passion, no spirit, the football was dire. They were playing a team that were relegated and still nearly lost. He was total embarrassed, I could of went but I hate championship football, all those horrible long balls and ugly football, hold a min, I saw one of those games last night on Setanta, it ended up 1-1, oh how I laughed when the crap team from Wigan equalized!!!!

  • Tef1on

    That game last night was a joke… Chelski showed absolutely no tallent. Overpaid and over rated… The again the worst player on the pitch by a country mile scored… oh how i was lagging him off still after he scored. It was dire

  • Darren

    Dexy, are a the new Mystic Meg?

  • D

    Nice one. Wanderers practically safe before the last day.

  • dexylongshot

    Unbelievable effort from Bolton and the hat is truly running scared, not quite as good as last years Tevez inspired escape but well up there, Fulham too have defied the critics and the wag an bow man may be in with a chance if harry puts out a B team on sunday.

    Stay tuned for my survival sunday preview later in the week, you may even see an half eaten trilby, where’s that sarsons!

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