Doppleganger week in Dexy’s Den – Mug up time!

by Mystical Mike

Friday, February 12th, 2010

What a team!

As it’s Doppleganger week on Facebook we thought we’d jump on the bandwagon and resurrect an old classic blog from the past.

GK Jeff ‘The Gloves’ Udoh

Since joining the club Jeff has been an active member of the Devy. Club secretary last season, as well as bringing in new faces, Jeff has also had to step in as reserve keeper when Stella Steve has been injured. He is known for his constant running and deceptive pace as well as turning up in goal using his large dustman gloves. Despite the gloves, and although he is a dustman by trade, his goalkeeping is anything but rubbish!


RB- Wally Ramjet

Wally likes to think of himself as the Bloody Bloody FC retro fashion guru, but sadly, wearing 1995 flares and a 2001 rugger bugger blazer doesn’t qualify.

Wally has lots has of issues, in fact he has 9,876 to be precise, he started collecting chat magazines the day he started working for them, back in 1987. Has a cult following amongst the Chat girls, we’ve all heard about the big eared boys on the farm they will usually say!

He also has a lovely red shoe which he refuses to throw away in case he ever goes in the sea.


LB- Simon ‘Shrek’ Testro

Aptly named because, as you can see by his photo, he looks like the lovable ogre, Shrek. Ogre he might be on the pitch, but off it he is a big girls blouse (Brooksy told me to say that). A no-nonsense defender who’s ultimate aim is to ‘get rid of it’. Shrek lacks what some would call, skill, but where he lacks in skill, he makes up in physical stature and punting ability. Has a gob on him as well!


CB- Justin Jay

We believe that our very own Justin, Justin is a double for Matt Lucas, he often gets stopped in the street and asked if he is the only gay in village, he isn’t of course but never the less it’s great comedy. On the football pitch he has 2 left feet but is very good with his head.


CB- Simon Walton

Simon can often be found wearing Rupert style trousers shouting ‘ball in the hole, wot, wot’. He may be an excellent golfer but when it comes to football the term headless chicken springs to mind, even his go faster goatie beard can’t save him. He did win 19 games of Pro Ev on the spin once.

ohh hello!

RW-Dudley West

The self confessed Hartlepool heartthrob used to be brilliant back in the day, with his customary Elephant runs and midfield powerhouse displays, the world was his for the taking, or so he says. He once played with Wigan’s Michael Brown and is very quick to tell you he was a better player. His playing days are now over due to the fact he was actually pretty crap. He now runs his own car boot company, he think’s he is a very powerful man. He is also a double for Rose West and Dudley Moore.

Dudley West

CM- Grumbleweed

According to Grumblweed he could of played semi pro. Not not only is he a fantastic shot stopper, he is also a midfield general. Give him 20 minutes on pitch and he’ll produce 1 moment of shear Grumble magic. He can usually be found at various art galleries admiring the works of Chaz and Dave.


CM- Matt Quinn

Matt really does believe he looks like Brad Pitt. Standing at 4ft 11, with a 2ft quiff doesn’t quite qualify. However, he is a double for Sam from Pop Idol, ahhh, how sweet! He is also in love with Lionel Messi and would turn if given the chance!

Sam Quinn

LW- Dan Bob Son

Dan will be quick to tell people that back in the day he captained the rugby, cricket, football & tennis teams. Our only recollection of Dan actually playing football was in Lombard FC’s record 13-0 defeat, although he did once score 2 goals in Hastings. Dan has appeared on Stars in Their Eyes as Cliff Richard. He dreams of one day meeting his hero and playing him at tennis.


CF- Chaz

Anyone who knows Charlie will say he doesn’t shut up, he loves to talk about absolute drivel, he also has a lovely collection of bobble hats. On the pitch he likes to think he’s a born leader, Chaz has two phrases that he will use 127 times per game, ‘bbc2, down the channel, bbc2’, and ‘that is mustard my son’.


CF- Jon Beale

Those who know Jon will say although he is complete double for Rudd Van Nistlerooy, they will also be very quick to point out that he plays nothing like him. In fact, his goal scoring record of 2 in 37 is not a record the Rudd would be proud of. Jon is also the worlds best mumbler.


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  • Matt Quinn

    I was offered a column in Heat magazine as an official Sam from Pop Idol lookalike back when Sam was at the peak of his powers. I turned it down though as it wasnt the career route i wanted.

  • Darren

    Are you for going for the Brad Pitt column now then?

    Did u see Barcalona’s new hero last night?

  • Matt Quinn

    No. What happened with Barca?
    Ps. Im 5’7 (and three quarters) not 4’11”.

  • Matt Quinn

    Actually just read about it. Giovanni Dos Santos is rubbish. He will never make it… even if he scored a hat-trick against a relegated team. Hes off to Man City this summer anyway.

  • Darren

    call yourself a fan, Giovanni scored a hatrick, new teenage sensation. I was in the pub, great goals. Henry played very well.

    Your hair is 2ft, without that you would be 4ft 11.

    U still not ready to play? We’ve got a very strong side for Tuesday

  • Matt Quinn

    I might come and watch on tuesday but prob not quite ready. Been for a run this morning and i’ll see how it feels tomorrow. Think im going to the docs for a referral.
    Read what i said about Dos Santos above! Awful player.

  • Darren

    the goals were very good. I had been drinking all day so I guess I had blurred vision.

    It’s in Croydon. I think Diccon is playing too. We were superb last week, have you seen the fantasy table now? You’re fading fast, it’s a 2 horse race between Cameron & I. I scored a goal with with my bum from 1 yard, goal of the season!

  • Matt Quinn

    Yeah, reckon i might come and watch then. Havent seen the table… dont care now. We all know i was winning it at a canter until i dropped my sweatband on my big toe.

  • Darren

    it’s marathon not a sprint!!

    Shame up sweatband face!

  • Jackie Emu peggy

    that ramjet’s bloke looks more like Michael Hutchence if he brushed his hair and beardface.

  • Darren

    thats Ramjet on a good day!! How much for that red shoe?

  • Dan Church

    Wheres Dowie ??? its not a lookee likee team without him…

  • Darren

    ha ha, Dowie will make the next 11 for sure!!

  • Drobga’s right boot

    quality, Matt Lucas double!

  • A Talent Scout

    Let me tell you something big mouth !

    Tarmez aka Hartlepool Hearthrob/Rose West was never a rubbish footballer…at the age of 14 he had trials with Notts County he also played for Hartlepool town team partnering Michael Brown in Centre midfield.

    If he was rubbish what does that make the rest of wycliffe fc !!!

    Because tar mez used to absolutely boss and dominate all your team mates (with the exception of matt quinn/sam from pop idol) at the 5 a side pitch in croydon every week for 2 years with his beautiful technique and flair

    Also Tarmez was the former face of the north east for Peach Snappers so i would say his lookalike would be : Paolo Nuttini, James Gooding or David Ginola ..

    Thank You…and by the way im off travelling the world for 12 months on the 20th of june

    want to come round for some dinner you and olly.

  • Darren

    wubbish, Wycliffe FC 2 defeats from 35, you do the math, u wouldn’t even make the bench!

    You dream land. Your boss was in Shortlist this morning, 38 year old business guru who sold his firm for 1.5m

    Yes, lets do dins dins. Are you having a leaving do?

  • tef1on


  • Darren

    yeah, why not, it’s so good we had to post it twice. Like New York

  • nursejackieemu

    blimey archive dusty!

  • Mike

    Grumbleweed & Cartman is flippin classic!

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