The Ultimate 11’s – West Ham

by Dexy Longshot

Monday, May 11th, 2009

This week it’s me old mucker James Baker and his best ever West Ham 11. Come on you Hammers!

The Den will be giving you your moment in the spotlight. Choose your teams greatest ever 11 plus 3 subs from 1970 onwards (consult with Grandpa Joe or uncle Jimbob for references).

Do you really know your clubs proud history or are you just a teenage glory hunter? (not mentioning any names from the Kings Road). Remember you must pick a decent 11, not 10 forwards and a goalie. We’ll have a butchers and I’ll give my verdict from Mustard to Pony. E-mail your team to

West Ham

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  • Stevie

    MaCavennie, class, best puller ever to grace the English football league!

  • James Webb

    Shame his name is spelt wrong lol !!!

  • Daveyboy

    How do you submit your own eleven Dexy?

  • rob pullinger

    NOT BAD MATE!!!!!

  • Dexy Longshot

    Alright Dave boy, who do u support? let us know and if we haven’t featured that team yet we’ll ask u to e-mail us your team

  • dexylongshot

    I’ve got something to get of my mooblike chest actually. I originally had them all as top draw extra hot mustard but was told off by big bossman for bias issues. Hence these are not actually my ratings, before anyone starts!

  • Oliver

    GK: Ludo Mikolsko
    DR: Tomas Repka
    DL: Stewart Pearce
    DC: Rio Ferdinand
    DC: Bobby Moore
    MR: Alan Devonshire
    ML: Yossi Benayoun
    MC: Trevor Brooking
    MC: Frank Lampard Snr
    FC: Paolo Di Canio
    FC: Tony Cottee
    SUB 1: MaCevennie
    SUB 2: Carlos Tevez
    SUB 3: Robert Green

  • Darren

    no Joe Cole? Come on, he’s better than Bishop. Where’s Carrick too? Some big players missing

  • Tef1on

    Neil Ruddock?!?!?!?! No Razor?

  • Matt Quinn

    Wasnt Ian Bishop caught in bed with Trevor Morley while he was at West Ham? Shouldnt affect your team selection, but it may disturb your squad morale. Something to bear in mind anyway.

  • Daveyboy

    Where the hell is Marco Boogers?????

    The guys an absolute legend!!!

    I was gonna submit an England XI but is this only for League teams?

  • dexylongshot

    I remember an away day to Watford around 91, when Morley just came back from injury. The injury was alledged to be a stab wound from his missus caused by the rumours above. All rumours mind.

    “OOh poorly Morley, ooh poorly Morley!!!”
    He stuck one away too…..(no pun intended your honour) past a young David James
    if I recall correctly.
    “Let’s go fkin menta!!”

    As chant’s go, Bish’s Upton Park debut was greeted by a a huge cat call of AAACCCCIIIEEEEEDDD!!!! from the luvd up North Bank, happy days!

  • Darren

    go for it Dave, we can do International teams as well, a Brazil 11 would be amazing!

  • Daveyboy

    Brazil 11? where do you start?

    I shall have a think about it an submit a team soon

  • Daveyboy

    This is my Brazil team from players I have seen ( im only 34)

    Gk Taffarel

    Df Cafu
    Df Lucio
    Df Roberto carlos

    Mf Ronaldinho
    Mf Socrates
    Mf Zico
    Mf Dunga

    Fw Romario
    Fw Ronaldo
    Fw Kaka

    All these players in their prime wouldve been awesome

  • Darren

    ah man, what about Eder and Falco? they was class, it would mainly be ’82 team for me.

  • Daveyboy

    theres so many great Brazillian players to choose from its almost impossible to choose a best XI without somebody saying “what about this player?”

    the ’82 team were awesome

  • Wes

    Peters–Brooking–Devonshire/or J.Cole
    ———Di Canio

  • brendan

    I was about to ask why there is no Marco Boogers but i see Daveyboy has beaten me to it

    but on a serious note is this team meant to be great at west ham or gone on and been great elsewhere??? Whatever my team would consist of

    repka Martin Moore Dicks
    Brooking Bonds
    Peters Devonshire
    Di Canio Zola

    Subs: Mikolsko, Cottee, Stewart

  • Darren

    what about John Harston? He was quality! Ginger, tall, erm, ginger!

    I still can’t believe no one has mentioned Carrick, he ran yr midfield for 3 years!

  • dexylongshot

    Hartson was 2nd top goalscorer that season when he and kitson were dynamite. I think only Henri was a goal in front. Big John, then very under-rated, now very over-weighted.

  • dexylongshot

    Incidently, it is the best team from 1970 onwards and the players who performed well for their club at the time, not at another club earlier on their career. Ie i can’t really put Jimmy Greaves in because he was washed up by the time he turned up at The Bolyen, the turf, not the boozer down the road! Big shout to Lisa and Maxine behind the bar xx

  • Bakes

    I went on the advice of Dexy and chose players who were in their prime at West Ham. I think Carrick is a genius player and should be starting for England. He was still finding his way at the Hammers. So much so that the only team interested in taking him off us were that pile of poo from the Lane. Joe Cole was a difficult leave out as was Tevez, Rob Green and a few others. I went for a few personal faves in Van Der Elst and Bishop. Irons!

  • dexylongshot

    Van Der Elst took us apart when we played

    Anderlecht in the Cup Winners’ Cup, he scored two as they hammerd us 4-2. He came to us a few years later around 81 when I used to watch in the north bank as a little nipper.

    Here’s my team

    GK: Phil Lurch Parkes
    DR: Ray Tonka Stewart (Penalty maestro)
    DL: Julian Terminator Dicks
    DC: Rio Ferdinand (The thinking mans England captain)
    DC: Bobby Mustard Mooro Moore
    MR: Alan DINO Devonshire
    ML: Joe boy Cole
    AMC: Trevor Brooking (I don’t score many with my head)
    DMC: Billy Bonzo Bonds
    FC: Paolo (GOD) Di Canio
    FC: MCavennie (I;ve giot his Autobiography, the art of scoring!)
    SUB 1: Tony TC Cottee
    SUB 2: Carlos Tevez (The patronsaint of Sheffield)
    SUB 3: Alvin Martin (talksports finest)

    & Francois (He’s a sub mind due to beating us in 76)

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