Trap O’ttoni’s Green Army

by Dexy Longshot

Friday, November 13th, 2009

“Low lie the Fields of Athenry, Where once we watched the small free birds fly!!!”

This Saturday at 8pm, I’ll will be glued to the box with the rest of The Emerald Isle to watch the darlings of the nation again defy the odds against greater foes to reach the final of the greatest show on Earth….

But enough about Jedward on XFactor.

I should really be watching the 3 Lions V Brazil in the flesh on my manor (or the Maracana) but the FA have fkd of the loyal fans, the ones who have been bankrolling the unrolling Wembley roof & sat through two years of the carrot topped twot, to play a prestige friendly against the world’s best … in Doha. See Mickey’s mouth-off from last month.

So instead 5/16ths of me will be puling on my snide Malaysian Eire Kit and settling down with my old man with a bottle of Jameson’s for 90 minutes of swearing, finger pointing, jumping around scaring the dags, Irish jigging and grinning Cheshire-like after knocking out the Frogs. It’s over 2 legs with the first at Croke Park and from what I’m reading in the papers, Le French are how you say….pooping it???.

Ireland finished the group undefeated winning 6 with 4 draws & coming runners up to World Champs Italy. The Micks nearly topped it too, they got a gutter of a draw with fluky Bulgaria after a own goal by Kilbane at the death and The Azzurri scrapped through after a scintillating game in Dublin where Trappatoni’s Green Army twice took the lead, only to be left crying into the black stuff when Gilardino equalized in the 93rd minute. Still mustn’t grumble, the Frogs await & I’ll be paying a visit to Paddy Power and getting on the luck of the Irish. Trap “O’ Toni, Seamus Tardelli and Liam “The Don” Brady are master tacticians, from the old school, much like our man Fabio. They will make it hard for the gifted French who may have easier on the eye players but a useless coach in Domenech. Even Arsene has tipped the Irish for a shock (and setting himself up nicely for a place as head Frenchie in a few years time).

The Frogs are not the only big fish who could be doing a McClaren next summer. Our old friends Portugal struggled big time in their group and just managed 2nd thanks to Sweden losing in the last game. The Sardine munchers face Bosnia & Herzigova without the winker who was having a barney with Real Madrid with regards to joining up with National squad with a sore thumb. In the end, his injury was deemed too bad to play and he won’t be making an appearance in the crucial decider. Some are saying it won’t be the same without the world’s best player if they don’t make it to South Africa. Personally, I don’t give a monkey’s toss if he’s there or buried neck deep in Paris Hilton’s knockers in LA when it’s kick-off, its just shame Messi and Diego won’t be missing either. I look at it like this; they would be two players less to worry about if we did actually progress to the latter stages. No one is gonna say “But Ronny wasn’t there” if we actually won it. No one says anything about George Best missing at WC66 when he was probably the best player on the planet and the 2nd best boozer (after our own Ollie Reid). The Bosnian boys know where the back of the net is and I’m praying for another big upset and them shooing the greasy winker and his comrades back to Lisbon.

Russia who were narrowly beaten to the top spot by Germany have had a right touch facing Slovenia who are the weakest in the draw in my humble opinion. The Slovs are a tidy side who just failed in the race for top spot thanks to a bad run of form earlier in the year, for me they lack a bit of a cutting edge up front, a bit like West Ham, all pretty build up and no one to put it in. Meanwhile, the Russians still have plenty in their ranks to be dark horses next summer. On their day, they can match anyone and play top notch footy. In Arshavin, they have a world-class match winner and I may take a few rubles on him to get on the score sheet too.

Then we have the Ukraine who I think are the best team England have faced apart from Spain in Fabio’s reign. We was under a fair bit of pressure when I saw them at Wembley in Spring and fancied an upset in the away leg, which is exactly what happened. No team will fancy the atmosphere Green & Co went through in September dodging flare & fireworks. The Greeks who won The Euros 5 years back are a similar team, hardworking & efficient, the complete opposite of JJ the work experience kid. This is a tough one to call and I think the bookies have made Greece favourites but I reckon we could see penalties for this after a couple of draws.

So underdog central for me in the prediction stakes. Ireland, Bosnia, Russia & Shevchenkos Ukraine, see you next summer. (Heart ruling head big time this week)

“Low lie the Fields of Athenry, Where once we watched the small free birds fly. Our love was on the wing we had dreams and songs to sing. It’s so lonely ’round the Fields of Athenry.”

Go On Ireland!!!!!!

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  • Stevie

    Green army, Green army, Green army, Green army!!!! 2-0 to the Irish, got nowt to fear…

  • mickeymarbles

    I’ll be getting the green down the pub tomorrow night, my parrots Irish!

  • Bertie

    An amazing turn of events indeed. I am crushing garlic in anticipation of the green army doing the same on saturday. Only good thing about the french is clara morgan!

  • Darren

    I don’t think they have anything to fear, France are a team of has beens with a manager who relies on luck more than tactics

  • Iain

    I’m really looking forward to it. THe Irish deserve to be at the world cup, and I’m not sure the French do.

    I would love it (love it) if the Irish got through. With Keith Andrews and glenn Whelan in the team how could they fail? And Ribery out injured? Henry out of touch? Benzema not settling in? Vieira not in the squad?????

    Raymond Domench will become a folk hero in Ireland if he’s not careful.

  • dexylongshot

    That’s the spirit!!! The’ll be plenty of spirits drunk as well if they do a job on Les Bleus! I’ve got my ireland top a day early, it may be a but whiffy by 10 tomorrow night but who cares, i’ll pribably smell fresher than those stinky Frenchies!!!!! KEANO KEANO!!!

  • dexylongshot

    Not over yet, believe!!!!!!

  • dexylongshot

    Well, front page news, Ireland cheated out of World Cup. I feel sick. A terrible decision by the officials. Henri has admitted he touched the ball, although he says he didn’t mean it, lying frog. He touched it twice palming it nicely to set up the Gallas goal. The replay showed the French were offside as well (although they wasn’t interfering with play), that a load of b*llocks as well. You can blame Henri, Fifa and the Refs but Henri did what Rooney or Owen would do, my problem with Thierry is he said it was an accident which it wasn’t.
    The blame firmly lies with the refs who up to then had a good game. The linesman said to Kilbane at the time that he was 100% sure it was NOT handball- more B8llocks! Maybe the Sepp Blatters were leaning on the refs somehow to get what they wanted, the bigger teams getting through. It was bad enough with the seeding fiasco before the play-offs.

    That decision has apparently cost Ireland 20 Billion. Thanks FIFA.

  • dexylongshot

    PS: I forgot to say (blubbing too much), bring on the Goal line technology, just like the the Rugby. All goals at least should be reviewed live. Then it is all fair and square and people can accept it, the last World Cup Rugby (in Paris) and England had a very touch and go appeal for a try. The refs and officials reviewed it while me and Jim Baker bellowed that it was a mile over. Once we saw the re-runs a minute later, it wasn’t (just), well there was more to it than that but at the end of the day, the cameras don’t lie, it was not a try and I accepted it straight away, fairs fair. I would have accepted Owens dive against the Argies 2002 and I would have definitely accepted Diegos being written of.
    Technology is the way forward, let’s hope this goal helps it come into being part of the modern game.

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