Weekly Report: Binging Berbatov, Soft Spurs and a Horror Challenge

by Luke Bradshaw

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

One was pushed, one jumped. Both were idiots and their archaic chauvinism wore out a long time ago. Thankfully, that is the end of them.

On the pitch however, Dimitar Berbatov showed just how much he has adapted to his new, adopted home country by going out binging. The Bulgarian obviously likes to wallow around biding his time and then goes crazy, unleashing himself on whoever happens to be there at the time. If he arrives early, and gets a few shots in, then you can be assured it will be a big night.

11 of Berbatov’s 19 Prem goals have come in just three fixtures (with 2 hat-tricks and the five goal haul against Blackburn). Binging has always been discouraged, and perhaps United fans would be far happier with an even spread of goals, rather than gorging when the bar/defence are unusually generous.

That said, this could just be the start of a George Best-sized run of scoring sessions – United fans will hope so.

United proved their title credentials with two good wins; they turned it on against Birmingham and turned it around at Blackpool. Chelsea may have turned a corner at Bolton, whether it is the same corner that Liverpool have turned who can say for sure. With their two wins, two clean sheets, six points and one wonder goal maybe they turned the tide, or should that be stemmed the flow? Feel free to insert any water based cliché/analogy that fits your own liking.

Further down the league, Darren Bent did what he has been doing for a number of years now and proved any doubters wrong, although they will still exist for the rest of his career. Man City, who lost to Villa, have temporarily relieved Adebayor of his services. Managers across the world should now pay attention; if Mourinho can’t get the best out of the petulant striker, see it as a sign never to errm, sign him.

For any attacking players out there learning their trade, who want to know how to lose a marker, there is the Kieran Richardson school of thought that involves kicking your marker in the face, alleviating some space for you to rattle in the game’s first goal while they receive treatment – take note.

Speaking of kicking players, could Spurs possess the most lightweight front six in modern history? Plenty of speed, flair and good football but St James Park saw Lennon, Modric, Pienaar, Jenas, Van Der Vaart and Defoe all line up together. Even Pavlyuchenko and Crouch are more skinny men than big men. Tackles like this one could put an end to a Spurs midfield in one go (note the outrage at the decision). He even says ‘I got the ball!’

Edwin Van der Sar has announced that he will be retiring at the end of the season. Credit where it is due – he has been an incredible player for a very long time. Here are some of his highlights.

Favourite thing this week: Rooney’s first touch for Berbatov’s third goal.  God I wish I could do that. Sorry, this article looks like I’m a United fan – I am not.

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