Why Arsenal need Karl Pilkington on the board

by Mystical Mike

Wednesday, April 20th, 2016
 

As a very frustrated Arsenal fan, I no longer get excited about my team. Every year it’s the same, end the season in disappointment, big stars wanting to leave, the annual scrap for 4th, celebrated like a Premier League title, the board and the manager boast about how much money the club have and who they are going to buy, the board and Wenger will argue over a few pounds, embarrassing the club by offering £1 over the buy out clause, ultimately missing out on every target in the process.

My solution is we need Karl Pilkingtons Super Hero onboard, so when ever Wenger and the board promise the fans new players, trophies & success, ‘Karl Pilkington can fly there and shout “That is Bullshit!” In fact, I suggest setting up the #thatisbullshit tag when ever you read an Arsenal article.

#thatisbullshit articles are all over Newsnow, here are a few headlines.

Arsenal send representative to scout 16 goal world class striker. Talks on-going.
Says who? Where is the source? How long do these talks go on for?
#thatisbullshit

Wenger plans £100 million spending spree. 3 players identified.
You can run this headline from 2010 onwards. It never happened, and it won’t happen.
#thatisbullshit

Arsenal close to completing first major summer signing in £24million deal
What does close to completing actually mean? How long does it take to close a deal.
#thatisbullshit

Mata spotted in London. Talks on-going. Deal to be finalized within days.
Erh, hello, Arsenal do play in red, but don’t play in Manchester.
#thatisbullshit

Arsenal expect to agree deal for midfielder as Wenger also eyes 25-goal hitman
Brilliant, two for the price of one. Wenger looks at a player, the midfielder deal is actually one of our under 15’s
#thatisbullshit

I’ve actually stopped reading any press on Arsenal, because “#thatisbullshit If however, we did make a key signing in Bullshit Man, things would definitely change and make us exciting again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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