Why do I love Fantasy League Football?

by Mystical Mike

Thursday, December 13th, 2007

What sort of person who grows up loving football, playing football and watching football becomes a fantasy football addict? The answer…me…that’s who! A 34 year old married man, who now tests himself against his co-addicts in a weird, geeky, fantasy league (that goes by the name of Un Gawa!) with what he considers his superior knowledge of the game.

No more wild tackles, punts up field or sprained ankles on a Saturday afternoon for me, but in its place a tense 2 hours watching Jeff Stelling on Soccer Saturday, willing the ball into the net with every grimace and groan uttered by the one time darling of the North Bank, ‘Champagne’ Charlie Nicholas Or physically wincing as Chris Kamara destroys my dream of a full set of clean sheets with his joyous monologue about a Wigan consolation at Anfield. And lets not forget the lure of Match of the Day on Saturday night…..did Cahill set up that goal for Yakubu? (3 points for an assist!).
I am not alone in this bizarre devotion, season ticket holders of premiership clubs want their team to win, but will their opponents to make it a close scoreline and have their obscure midfielder nick a cheeky double before full time in that hopeless quest for another 12 points- (5 for a goal plus 2 for an appearance!).


Thirteen seasons the draw of fantasy football has wrapped me in its web…and not just me. This season there are another 84 nut-jobs who have blown £20 in the vain hope of winning the Super League and becoming the ultimate player and picking up the top prize (£700 tax free!). Hours can be spent, week after week, checking websites hoping against hope that the pricey striker (£7m!) you pinned your hopes on getting picked this week, isn’t rested for the big match in Munich on Wednesday. The devastation that the lying antiquated sack of cack that is ‘Ceefax’ can cause with its Saturday morning claim that John Terry is injured and then, at 2.45pm, lo and behold there he is in the centre of defence…and you sold him before the first game of the day at 12.45! The horror of the wasted transfer (only 14 left and its just early October!) or even worse the panic transfer made in a desperate attempt to make up those minus points that your Portsmouth cheap defender (£2.9m) cost you in their 4-0 home loss (minus 6..1pt lost per goal, plus the goon was booked!). And now you get daily ‘web updates…each time you log on you hope that the bloke in the lead has spuzzed all his transfers, after too many snifters on Friday night and has plummeted, just like David Wells did in 2001 (on the penultimate weekend of the season!). But he hasn’t and you’ve actually dropped 4 places.

All this frustration vanishes though when the magic full set of clean sheets is achieved and your cheeky transfer comes up trumps with a late double and man of the match (3 points!) award. This 2 minute victory jig pales into insignificance with the sheer fist pumping, adrenalin rush of actually winning the whole bloody league (on the last day of the season!). The feeling stays with you forever, your first kiss, losing your virginity?…all utter bollocks when compared with becoming the Un Gawa! Fantasy football champion! I kid you not! To paraphrase a quote from one of the gang in the movie ‘Heat’ ‘the action IS the juice!’…..I still live for Saturday afternoons, its just that its not like it was when I was 15…its all a bit more electronic and a bit geeky, but fuck me is it good!

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  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    It’s makes lazying around on the sofa on Saturdays worth while!

    You find yourself interested in Wigan vs Birmingham in the hope that one of your cheaper players just might score you some points. They never do as you dropped him that day of course.

    Is there an art to Fantasy league? Or is it just luck?

  • Mike

    Put Yakbu in, thats what I say!

  • Jasonb22

    Why didn’t I put bloody Santa Cruz in?

  • Famer Juice

    many a true word spoken, my gf hates me for it! I just say go and buy some new shoes dear, or make my dinner, I’m bloody starving!

  • http://www.ukfootballfinder.co.uk Darren

    come on, how many of you have Marcus Bent in your team?

  • http://yachting-swap.com/map.html Gemareclonrom

    Make love, not war!

  • http://www.craigcahll.com craig.c

    No, Cahill certainly did not “set up” that goal for Yakubu.

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